I'm on a continued quest to make the world a better place at Christmas. So my next big project, like many other aspects of my life, revolves around hookers.

Let's think about hos for a second. Now whoring is a profession, true, and said hookers do what they do for rent money, car payments, etc. They also have neccessary expenditures like paying for raging drug habits, pimp commission, etc. So prostitutes have sex with multiple strangers to make a living. But you know what? I don't believe this is the only reason. I believe they also do what they do because of their deep love for humanity. They are giving the ultimate gift and often, depending where you shop, at outrageous discounts, They truly enjoy, I believe, making their johns happy. Hookers are an inherent good.

So considering the sacrifice that street tramps make for humankind, I think we should all be saluting them this time of year. We should be giving them a little extra when we're done using their bodies like inflatible love monkeys. We should be giving them compliments as we pass them on the streets like "Nice fishnets, hose beast." We should be giving them hugs at the street corners that they hang at to sell their tawdry wares. And not the kind of hug where you lean in and cop a cheap feel. A real one.

People, I beg you. Hug a ho at Christmastime. Just find one and grab her and say "Thanks for the joy that you bring so many." It'll bring joy to your heart and you never know, you might get a freebie out of it.

Hug a Ho

All I gotta do is go around the corner and it's Ho City.

you get first dibs on hugs, captain.

BSK3478 said:

Damn it, they got Wanda again! Bitch has got to stop making herself so pretty because she sticks out on the street like a sore thumb.

MATT!!!!! come here so I can hug you...you damn HO! HO! HO!

Actually, I've realized that my hourly billing rates are comparable to those charged by upscale prostitutes (i.e., the ones who work for what are ostensibly "escort services," not streetwalkers). And in a sense, I'm being pimped out, since the firm gets a nice cut of what I bring in.

matt said:

"The Firm" is his code word for "whore House."

3 XXX-Mas cheers for da hookers & all their hard work...

Hiphip-whore-rayy
Hiphip-whore-rayy
Hiphip-whore-rayy

or the cliff-notes version:

ho
ho
ho

I got ho's in different area codes...ho's I got ho's....

notoriousj said:

206 reprazent!

Another Org exclusive. I talked with my friend Bono and he called up Sir Bob Geldolf last night. They quickly wrote a song to celebrate the cause of hugging hos and enlisted a number of British pop stars and Hollywood celebs such as Charlie Sheen, Hugh Grant, and Eddie Murphy. This single should be out by the end of the week.

Do They Know It's Christmas Time (2005 Ho Style Re-Mix)

It's Christmas time
Hos don't need to be afraid
At Christmas time
Go to a ho and you can get laid
And in our world of freakos
They can spread a smile of joy
They can take you around the world
At Christmas time

But say a prayer
Pray for the nasty ones
At Christmas time it's hard
But when you're having fun
There's some hos outside your window
And they look like re-fried crap
They're crusty and they're oozy
And real strung up on crack
And the police sirens that ring
There are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you

Hug a ho in your neighborhood
This Christmas time
The greatest gift they'll give this year is ass
They love to bring a smile
They'll make it worth your while
It beats spending seven hours at the mall

(Here's to hos) raise a glass for all of them
(Here's to hos) underneath that burning sun
These hot chicks, they really love to ball.

Hug a ho
Hug a ho
Hug a ho
Let them know it's Christmas time

Hug a ho
Let them know it's Christmas time
Hug a ho
Let them know it's Christmas time

Hug a ho
Let them know it's Christmas time

CaptainChaos said:

OMFG


M

the 'counselor' in me says i should not approve us this thread

but another part was like

crackin' the funk up.

hoe

hoe

hoe.

Excellent...the song is out there and now everyone is joining the cause. Good job, K-Fed!