Just wondering if you guys and gals had any advice for a 19 year old male who is trying to date.

My biggest problem is that I'm shy as hell. Every time I get around a girl I freeze up, I don't even have the balls to look a girl in the eye without getting nervous without getting a scared or tripping over my words.

There's this girl in school who I'm kind interested in, have a little small crush on, but don't know to approach her or anything. Can you guys give me some advice?
[Edited 12/16/05 11:47am]

sing "Tick Tick Bang" to her and you'll be climbing those sugar walls in no time.

hi, fellow young orger! i'm 19 too.

Just try to relax around her & talk about normal things at first, like any classes you have together. It's also really nice to notice little things about her and maybe bring them up in conversation or compliment her on them.

Unfortunately women are brought up with a romance novel mindset where the guy should be this uber confident person who will sweep her off her feet. Shy guys are not a high priority their list. Sad but true.

I would try and find out if she likes you from someone else because women are not very good at indicating whether they are interested in you in a sacktime way. The signals that they like you as a friend and the sacktime signals are not much different. So if you find out she does like you then approach and then you are not risking anything. But then if you find out from someone that she is not interested then you don't have to go near her and get burned.

Or you can do what i do and wait for her to approach you. That way you will know for sure she is interested. And you are not setting yourself up for a big fall.

Good luck.

and don't take any advice from spats. he thinks he knows what women want and that women will bow to what he wants.

his mind is sadly warped in that area.

Spats said:

:confused: and

What are you risking really when you get rejected by someone because they don't want a "hump and dump" relationship?

I still don't get you Spats. You seem like a world-class loser to me.

Spats said:

I just love being living proof you're wrong. I've been almost exclusively attracted to introverted guys. Don't generalize an entire gender, it just makes you look even more ignorant!
[Edited 12/16/05 12:10pm]

fantasyislander said:

PLEASE don't take advice from Spats. Don't become bitter so young...

I remember high school and know some people who just got out and things have not changed much. The pretty girls at school did not and do not go for the shy guys. They love the cool bad boys or the popular guys. Not much has changed.

I have been around enough women to know what most women want and don't want.

I am not talking about a "Hump and dump" thing but this guy will eventually want sacktime. Who are we kidding here? He is not nervous because he wants nothing more than friendship. He wants to hook up with her and eventually

Spats said:

He doesn't have to be a douchebag in the process tho....

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

i second that...

PLEASE, PLEASE dont take advice from Spats

and a hint, us girls dont call him bitter..... we call him something totally different

Spats said:

you really have no idea how ignorant you are, have you? now i just feel sorry for you.

purpleworld said:

After that first time, you realize it is been around you all the time. You just didn't know the secrets behind the fruit picking. Don't be afraid to try.

I believe: first and foremost you need to ask yourself "what do I want?". What do you want? Have you thought about this? Do you want love, phyical relationships, more or less?

I am one for love. Love is the beautiful perl. I am only 35. To you that may seem old, but it really isn't. I have spent half my life with the same woman. Our relationship is a rock we both cling onto.

What do you want?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

co-sign.


if you only come away from this thread learning ONE THING, that thing should be DON'T TAKE ADVICE FROM SPATS.

"Our relationship is a rock we both cling on to." Insert your own jokes here.

This guy has years ahead of him. I don't think right now he is looking for the woman to spend the rest of his life with. He is only 19 years old. He has not even gone out into the world and lived yet. He wants to hook up with a pretty girl.

Spats said:

He mentioned "crush" and "date" which is quite different than bashing a chick over the heat with a club and dragging her to your cave....

make her laugh, get friendly. don't think about the romance, just break the ice.

purpleworld said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

damnit, supa, my laptop didn't need a bath!


spats: some people are more emotionally mature than others. i know an 18 year old who has no problem being in a long term relationship headed toward marriage. just because you're less developed doesn't mean everyone else is similarly defunct.

I agree that's what he said but he is a guy and he will eventually want it to lead to Sex. But we are getting off topic. I think my advice is best. The whole "notice little things and compliment her on them" is the romance novel crap that i am against. You will just be playing her game if you do that. Eveningstar proved my point.

I think the best thing for him to do is to find out if she is interested in him from someone else before he does anything. Especially if he is shy. Rejection is harder on guys like that.

evenstar3 said:

He said the guy was "19" and that ment he was looking for a pretty girl. Spats isn't good at math. I said I am 35 and have been with the same woman for 15 years. 35 - 15 = 20. DAH!

My wife is a beautiful girl too. I am talking model beauty. If you want a beautiful girl, all you have to do is become a photographer it's just that simple.

evenstar3 said:

Now that's what I'm talkin' about!

MickG said:

Masher!!!



See spats, some guys are evolved at young ages.

Spats said:

okay.

1) let's brush up on our reading skills (women like men who have them). e-v-e-n-s-t-a-r.

2) so you're against men complimenting women at all? if i'm interested in a guy, i'd compliment him, so i don't see why it can't go both ways.

First of all i don't buy that Mick has a beautiful woman. Maybe in his eyes, but i have different standards thn him. Second, it is spelled "meant", not "ment".

"Make her laugh, break the ice", No, let her break the ice.

Spats said:

And it's "than" not "thn"

And you have never seen his woman so you have no basis to say that,just like we have never seen you or any of your "hot "women so maybe we should just conclude that they were all "ugo's".....

MickG said:

i'll hafta reinforce this bit of advice

NEVER
EVER
EVER take advice from that idiot spats
he's bad for everyone's health...EVERYONE'S

DONT LISTEN TO HIM

Spats said:

Again, it goes back to what everyone else has said on this post besides spats.


DON'T TAKE ADVICE FROM SPATS.

The boys oviously programed.

It's fine that you will compliment them.I don't need women complimenting me to feel better about myself. It's that old fashioned romance novel stuff again. If he has to kiss her ass then is it really worth it?

Mick, has said that looks are not a huge priority to him. Guys who usually say that don't have babes for girlfriends or wives. I can't post a pic.

Spats said:

There's a difference between paying someone a simple compliment and kissing someone's ass. You clearly aren't intelligent enough to discern what it is, though.

Spats said:

Ummm... no i didn't. you making up shit now?

You are not worthy of looking upon my wife.