You May Be From Canada If....

You understand the phrase, "Could you pass me a serviette, I just dropped my poutine, on the chesterfield."

You eat chocolate bars, not candy bars.

You drink pop, not soda.

You know what a Mickey and 2-4 mean.

You don't care about the fuss with Cuba. It's a cheap place to go for your holidays, with good cigars.

You know that a pike is a type of fish, not part of a highway.

You drive on a highway, not a freeway.

You have Canadian Tire money in your kitchen drawers.

You know that Casey and Finnegan were not part of a Celtic musical group.

You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada.

You brag to Americans that: Shania Twain, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion and many more are Canadians.

You know that the C.E.O. of American Airlines is a Canadian!

You know what a touque is.

You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

You know that the last letter of the English alphabet is always pronounced "Zed" not "Zee".

Your local newspaper covers the national news on two pages, but requires six pages for hockey.

You know that the four seasons mean: almost winter, winter, still winter, and roadwork.

You know that when it's 25 degrees outside, it's a warm day.

You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.

You know how to pronounce and spell "Saskatchewan." (Sas-Kat-chew-wan)

You perk up when you hear the theme song from "Hockey Night in Canada."

You were in grade 12, not the 12th grade.

"Eh?" is a very important part of your vocabulary and more polite than, "Huh?"

You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all of your Canadian friends! Then you send them to your American friends just to confuse them...further.

Hey PT


Rox, eh?

[Trailer Park Boys edit]

You might be from New Jersey if.....

1 - There are no beaches, there's "the shore", and the road to the shore is the "Parkway", not the "Garden State Parkway"
2 - You know what a "WAWA" is and know of the location of at least 10 of them.
3 - You don't understand why there aren't more 24 hour diners elsewere in America.
4 - You can name every flavor of saltwater taffy.
5 - You've run out of money on the "Parkway".
6 - You STILL can't believe MTV actually went to Seaside Heights for Spring Break in 1998....
7 - .....and actually did it again in 2002.
8 - You know this is the only state that you don't need "New" to identify it,
(like, Mexico, York, Hampshire....doesn't work, does it?)
9 - You start planning for Memorial Day in February.
10 - You still haven't seen that many gardens.
11 - You only go to "the city" for day trips.
12 - Route 18 doesn't freak you out at night.
13 - You believe the Statue of Liberty is in New Jersey, not New York.
14 - You don't take shit from anybody.....
15 - ....especially people from New York or Philly, because YOU live here, not them. They just come
here for the summer, invading the beaches and bars, thinking they own the damn state,
who the hell do they think they are?!
16 - You know at least 2 people who still listen to Bruce Springsteen,
still refer to him as "The Boss", and actually seen him play with the E. Street Band
at The Stone Pony in Asbury Park.
17 - You know Paramus has 4 MAJOR malls within 3 miles of each other.
18 - You worked at a "Friendly's" in high school.
19 - You've spent St. Patricks Day in Belmar.
20 - You've been nearly run over by a tram car in Wildwood.
21 - You have a family member that retired to Cape May, Ocean Grove, Brick or Tom's River
instead of Florida.
22 - Donald Trump is mentioned daily in your local newspaper.
23 - Even your school made good italian subs, and they are called "subs", not a "submarine sanwhich",
"hoagie", or worse yet, a "hero"
24 - The Jets/Giants football games have actually started fights in your family.
25 - You can smell when it's low tide.
26 - You've been to the Great Adventure Safari and had to take the monkey "by pass" because
your dad had a padded vinyl roof on the car.
27 - People think you say "water" weird.
28 - Your car gets covered in yellow-green pollen in April.
29 - You know that ACME is an actual supermarket, not just in Looney Tunes cartoons.
30 - Because your town was probably founded before 1776 and all the restaurants, bars, and shops
have "ye", "olde", or "colonial" in their names.
31 - You know the myth of the Jersey Devil.
32 - You think the Olive Garden is the worst excuse for an italian restaurant ever.
33 - You remember when Hoboken was a ghetto, and not overpriced.
34 - There is a fruit and vegetable stand on every corner.
35 - You like vinegar or gravy on your french fries.
36 - You don't think of citrus fruit when someone mentions the "Oranges"
37 - You've ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast before.
38 - You've know the way to Seaside Heights since you were 7.
39 - You remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison.
40 - You know that the entire state is not one big oil refinery.
41 - You know what a "jug handle" is and how to properly negotiate a "circle"
42 - You know the previous had to do with driving.
43 - You know what "White Castle" is and have eaten a sack of em at 3 in the morning before.
44 - You don't think "What exit (do you live near)?" is very funny.
45 - You know that people from the "609" area code are a little "different"
46 - You live within 20 minutes of the nearest mall.
47 - You refer to all highways and interstates by just their numbers.
48 - You knew someone in high school that had connections to the mafia.
50 - You or someone you know was seriously hurt at "Action Park"

and finally.....

50 - You have NEVER pumped your own gas.

proud canadienne here!

SammiJ said:

Oui !!!!

all of you

Imago777 said:

take off, hoser...

SammiJ said:

luv4u said:

Imago777 said:

luv4u said:

Imago777 said:

[Trailer Park Boys edit]

If i could move to New York or LA i would. It's boring up here. The last time i went to NY i saw more hot looking women there in one afternoon than i have in a typical month up here.

Spats said:

Only 50% of the ones in Greenich Village are women.


/
[Edited 12/15/05 19:36pm]

Where's the Moose?

althom said:

You might be from Bangkok if...

You keep a bundle of notes in the glove compartment of your car especially for police officers.

The back of your driver's license appears to be from part of a box of Kellogs cereal.

Zebra crossings mean lines of black and white paint on the road for no apparent reason.

Your shirt buttons are worth more than the coins in your pocket.

You know what an 'on the spot fine' means.

You have a degree but all you can remember about it is how much it cost.

Sizzlers is the height of luxury dining.

You know Red Bull as Krating Daeng and that it's a Thai brand.

You keep your adidas sports shoes in the box with the paper around them.

You buy cigarettes in twos.

Nobody knows how old your parents are.

You think cockroaches are edible.

Your full name has more than ten syllables.

You have a Louis Vuitton bag but only a squat toilet.

jerseykrs said:

51 -- You know you are really gay.

Spats said:

What? Spats is Canadian? OH THANK GOD! that explains alot. :-O

To all you Canadian I have one thing to say.

Sorry Spats is Canadian, and I am sorry you weren't lucky enough to be born a few more degrees south like the rest of us more normal americans. However, write your government and tell them you are intrested in becomming the next states in the united states government.

You're probably a proud Swede if...

1. You look forward to the fall season because it's so "cozy".
2. You love standing in line.
3. You happily give your "personal number" to strangers (containing your birthday and birthplace) at least twice a day.
4. You cough loudly if someone won't stand to the right on the escalator.
5. You cough loudly if anybody does anything that not everybody else does.
6. You think feminism should be elevated to national religion.
7. You think you got a bargain if you found a CD for less than 190 kronor ($25 US).
8. You think you're a moral being of the highest order.
9. You think having one dominating political party for almost a century is a good thing.
10. You think you're actually getting something back for your tax money.
11. You give a million reasons for why America is Satan while drinking Coca-Cola and keeping an eye on the latest episode of Top Model.
12. You think words speak louder than action.
13. You spend your whole salary on beer the first weekend after you get paid.
14. You think Stockholm is a big city.
15. You have to look up "personal integrity" in the dictionary and think "Minority Report" was a utopian vision.
16. You consider yourself to be very worldly but go quiet out of shyness when you meet foreigners.
17. You think meatballs and falukorv and rotmos constitute a "rich food culture".
18. You think dressing in black and other dark colours all year around automatically makes you look classy.
19. You go to the Canarie Islands or Thailand on your summer holiday, get fried on the beach and totally drunk, and then go home thinking you had fun.
20. Your last name ends with "sson".
21. Your cell phone gets more attention than your family, but you don't talk on it, you only send textmessages that take twenty minutes to type in.
22. You start planning for your old age when you're 25.
23. You know what this means and agree with it: "Lagom är bäst!"

PurpleThunder said:

And not only there either. I find that stuff everywhere. If they'd made it look like vouchers or something instead then I'd probably have thrown them away long ago. Damn mind games...

Spats said:

Yes, it's entirely boring in this, one of the most cosmopolitan cities in all of North America, with a population of almost 3 million (and over 5 million if you include the suburbs). Obviously this is why, when major celebrities do limited press tours, Toronto is the only other city included with New York and L.A. and every major entertainment event and concert tour comes through this city (which is also host to the second-most-important film festival in the world, which attracts the A-list of Hollywood actors every year). As for this dearth of hot women you cite, your beauty ideal is Britney Spears, mine is Natalie Portman - I'll let the Org do the math when I say that this city is filled with stunning, intelligent women.

Son, I have travelled all over the world and I am here to tell you that this is one of the greatest cities there is. I have entertained guests here who have experienced the best the world has to offer and they have fallen in love with this town. I don't know where you hang-out, but they're obviously the wrong places.
[Edited 12/16/05 12:56pm]

Ya bunch of hosers

Ace, you are making people think it is better than it really is. And we must have different tastes in stunning because i am out on the dating scene and it's hard to find stunning. I have no idea where you are hanging out. Where are these "stunning" women hanging out?

Spats said:

Head down to College, Queen or Yorkville any night.

I have been to all of those places. The women in Yorkville are rich bitches. And i haven't seen anything special on College or Queen.

Spats said:

You canadians' are to blame for him! You canadians' can keep him.

MickG said:

we don't want'im!

drop him off in the atlantic!