Hey, it's the Captain here. I've been rather quiet this weekend because I have been working on a very special project that is near and dear to my heart.You see there is going to be a certain group of children that are going to go without this Christmas. With only 7 days, there is little hope for this poor group of children and I am doing everything in my power to help. Now sure, the children I speak of will have food and shelter and loving families. But what they won't have, what will make their holidays into hollow meaningless exercises, are XBOX 360s.

Yes, the Best Buys are bare. Circuit City has put out the sold-out sign. Wal-Mart says nyet. The Magical Elves in Santaland have ceased production and so, on this frosty December 25 morn, these poor spoiled well-to-do children will only be able to look at hundreds of dollars of toys that does not include Microsoft's super-cool, yet reportedly glitchy, masterpiece of computer gamery.

Help me help them, Org. There is still a little bit of time to get these machines to these poor shallow children. If you have any unopened XBOX 360 game consoles, I need you to send them to me right away. Org note me for the mailing address. These will need to be unopened with the receipt included and, in the spirit of the season, I need you to pay shipping. Once you get them to me, I will make sure that little Jonathan or William or Terrence get what they deserve for being lucky enough to have rich human parents instead of being raised by poor ass indifferent wolves like I was.

(Note: Some consoles may be sold on eBay to pay for overhead costs and various assorted random expenditures of CaptainChaos Enterprises. Premium model preferred over crappy core console. Void in Rhode Island.)
[Edited 12/18/05 19:35pm]

No, but I have a rarely used game of Pictionary they might like

You should of thought of this months ago, poor planning. It is a very nice idea too.

charlottegelin said:

I suppose if you sent Pictionary with an envelope filled with unmarked bills inside, that would be acceptible.

luv4u said:

Yeah, there was about three or four months this year that I was literally hungover the whole month. I should have been working on this then.

CaptainChaos said:

I think I might have written on them, but I have phone, gas and electricity bills you are most welcome to.

I have begun a bake sale in which I will not accept cash, only those x-box thingies.

I don't bake, but I have a whole bunch of half-eaten Rice-Krispy squares ( uhmnn...I really don't want to get into why I have so many...suffice to say we all have our own way in dealing with heartache).
Also, I live close to a mountainous pile of rubber tires that has burning for about 6 years..
I figger if I can pry some of the lower ones out, y'know the ones sorta melty & sticky and just sprinkle 'em with nuts, sugar & used gum, I can pass 'em off as fruit-cakes.

God bless the Cap'n.

Illustrator said:

The poor overprivaleged children thank you. And send me some of the leftovers. Sounds yummy.

Good news, people. Bono has agreed to help our cause. Those XBOXes will come in for sure now.

We just received an anonymous contribution, a Sony Playstation 2. I sincerely hope the sender of this gift enjoys their eternal damnation in Hell.

XBOX 360 PEOPLE!!! There is no substitute!

Captain, are you Sinister in disguise??

CaptainChaos said:

i knew it!!

I am not Sinister,,,I am not any other Orger...I am not a woman...I am not a man...I am something that you'll never understand.

I am Captain.

Now where are my XBOXes. We've got some very wealthy kids who may have to make do with souped-up go-karts and diamond encrusted yo-yos.

Shame, shame. No XBOXes Fedexed to my door. I am very disappointed in you Org. Bono is too. Think of the children, damn it.

Think of the poor child who will wake up in these wretched conditions who will look at an empty floor where their XBOX 360 should rightly be.