As some of you know, I'm a 20 year bisexual woman. Out and proud. I love men, I love women. Really, I love everyone.

But you know what kills me about bisexuality? How other people, straight and gay alike, decide things about bi people without really knowing a damn thing about it.

I hear it all the time.

"I don't believe bisexuality actually exists."
"Bisexuals are just lying to themselves. They're really gay and trying to cop straight priveledges."
"Women are naturally bisexual, but it's impossible for men to be."
"Bisexuality is just a phase."
"They're just doing it to be trendy" though there is some truth to this in that some young people, especially girls, will fake being bi to attract attention from men, it certainly doesn't apply to most of us.
"You can't trust bi's. They'll cheat on you/aren't capable of monogamy/will leave you for someone of the other gender/spread disease."



Nearly every time a study is done concerning human sexuality, only hetero and homo orientations are tackled, as if human sexuality works on a binary system and not a flowing continuum. Then of course, we can't forget the infamous study that supposedly proved bisexual men are "really" gay or straight and lying to themselves. Interesting how few considered the fact that it is impossible to conduct a study or experiment -especially on such a contentious issue -without biases. The researchers may have approached the topic with a bias, or may have interpreted the results with one.


If any of you have ever had ideas or thoughts like these on bisexuality, I'd like to ask you to reconsider your reasoning and think about how and why you arrived at ideas like these to begin with. If you've ever avoided romantic or sexual situations with a bisexual person, or secretly -or openly- thought a bi person was lying to themselves...

I have been with a man who said to me he was 'bisexual' since we first got together, but every1 he cheated on me with were men, and if someone is REALLY bi-sexual wouldnt you WANT a woman SOMEtime?

I used to say I was bi also just to avoid saying I like men full-time.

i have really YET to meet a person who has really i meant REALLY are bi-sexual at heart. A man who just has sex with women and men and has no problem with it...they were always on the "downlow" about they shit.

paisleypark4 said:

That's where you're wrong. Or, not completely right, at least. Sexuality in general is a tricky thing to define. Many people seem to be under the impression that all bisexuals are fully 50% attracted to men and 50% attracted to women. Some like women more than men, some like men more than women, and some, like me, really are equally attracted to people of both sexes. The ratio doesn't matter, what makes a person bisexual is attraction, at least in part, to both sexes. So the man who cheated on you only with men is still in all likeliness bisexual. His tastes may lay more with men, but if he's at least considered sex with women, he qualifies. A person doesn't have to actively be sleeping with people of both sexes to be bisexual.

Take myself, for instance. I've been in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend for 8 months. Though in that entire time I've had no sexual contact with women, I'm not any less attracted to them than I am otherwise. But for all appearances, I'm straight. (Though interestingly, since the man's also bisexual, even though we're male/female we're still technically in a queer relationship. Huzzah!)

A lot people do this; it can be an important step in coming into your own in terms of your sexual and personal identity. But to assume that everyone who claims bisexuality is doing so in the process of coming out of the closet would be an error. It's simply not true.



Well, you're talking to me, aren't you? Hi! I'm Erin. Full-blown, honest-to-goodness, loves men and women equally bisexual.

meow85 said:

Y do u bi guys tease us so much with your fine ass looks and straight acting abilities!!?

paisleypark4 said:

Don't ask me, I'm a bi girl.








On to my next topic: why does everyone online think I'm male?

I didn't think I was that butch.

Gay Women Want ya 100% Lesbian ya know. Want ya to stop being BI. If ya with a Man you are OUT! Not kidding myself cause I dig both and wouldn't give up Men completely. I Love Lesbians. They're Great People as are Gay guys...

True..He Totally Loved a woman Named Mary and left all his money to her right? But he Really wasn't Seen with any other women. He went to Elton John's Parties/Orgies and Samantha Fox the PORNO and Singer was there.

Zelaira said:

well Mary was his best friend but yes they were together many years ago

Natisse said:

It seems a lot of people can't wrap their minds around liking both; they need you to be only straight or only gay, to support their own misconceptions about sexuality.

As is with most other topics, sexuality is easier for a lot of people to deal with when it's in black and white terms. In other words, you can be gay OR straight, but you can't be "both".
[Edited 12/14/05 23:29pm]

meow85 said:

It's all I've ever known.
Since being around 6 years old I knew I was attracted to both genders, so if folk tell me it's either unnatural or a fake sexuality I politely tell them to fuck off.

Cloudbuster said:

you so sexy!!

garganta said:

haaaaa your name means throat




ok im done

BucketOfBouncyBalls said:

clever!

garganta said:

I had a so-called 'bisexual' boyfriend once. After three months I came to know he betrayed me, with a boy. He said 'I'm sorry, I'm bisexual, I need to have both sexes'.



Now he's married to a former (female) friend of mine after being together for 8 years. I'm not sure how he manages his 'gay' of 'bisexual' side.

But for me, it all sounded like a lame excuse.

On the other hand, one of my best female friends has not been in a relationship for 8 years. For some years, she has been messing around with some of her girlfriends, who call themselves 'bisexual'. Still, every girl of this group would stop having sex with women if they found the right guy. That's at least what they're telling me and others.

So I think that's where the image comes from. Many people use 'bisexuality' as an excuse or as some vague term that makes more things possible in times of freedom.

OY this AGAIN!???!?! B-Side-Sexuals are greedy and confused. That's it. I hear it ALL the time. "I'm bi- but i like girls more"-Lesbian. "I'm bi- but i like guys more"- Gay. See how easy that is? I believe there are genuine "B-Side-Sexuals" I know TOO many of them. Well, alleged b-side-sexuals that is. Most of them are using that label to transition from being straight to coming out completely. Which, doesn't bother me. I just wouldn't want to date someone who wasn't completely sure of their sexuality and bring that shit into the relationship. I must admit though, I see bi-sexuals as whores. "I like both sexes." Come the fuck on now. Isn't that just another way of saying you want to whore yourself around and you don't care to who? I know that's not all of ya'll but most of ya'll do make it hard on the rest. And btw...WE GET IT. YOU'RE BI. GOOD FOR YOU. Labels suck anyway. But i still wouldn't date a b-side-sexual.

homo, hetero or bi

They are all just sexual and should be embraced as equal.

PREDOMINANT said:

Predom!

Cloudbuster said:

You are in a category all on your own

PREDOMINANT said:

I think there are certainly bisexual people in both genders, although I think it is far more common amongst women than men (which has more to do with social conditioning than anything else). Women are encouraged to be more affectionate with each other, so bisexuality may just come more naturally.

Bisexual men face rejection from both the straight and gay communities, whereas women are generally accepted by all but the more butch militant lesbians.

All in all, I think it is still a fairly rare phenomenon. Maybe the rarity of it is what makes it so difficult to understand. Since most women who claim to be bi are just doing it to tittilate men, and most men who claim it are just gay guys trying to find a way to deal with their sexuality, it appears to the general public to be a fraudulent claim.

Bryan Adams - 'Tell me have you ever really, really really ever loved, a woman?"



not in that way

JediMaster said:

PREDOMINANT said:

Amen!! good to see you

Cloudbuster said:

All about the combat boot, buzz cut, unshaved pits type, eh?

sexual orientation is based on a spectrum, not a finite box of clearly marked definitions.

even within the labels of "straight" and "gay", you have a wide world of variance in what people look for in their partners. people who look for nice, clean labels are saying more about their own fears than they are about any truths in society.

Anxiety said:

Fuck that shit. We got gay, straight, and confused.

DynamicSavior said:

and your comment makes it clear which category you fall into.

JediMaster said: