Written By Elaine AKA BUCKETOFBOUNCYBALLS





This is very necessary...For those who don't know I spend a great amount of time on AIM. Usually just leave it on and go on and linger, do my things you know. Anywho, I get an IM from a fellow aimster who shall remain nameless...and goes bragging about "her" weekend. Of course I am not easily moved or enthralled to such news so I simply said the common phrase "Thats cool". In reality I just didnt give a tiny rats ass. Then as the conversation proceeded she started to constantly say random things about a "hotter" individual and how delicious they looked and all this broo ha ha. Yet she was quick to say, oh my...wrong window..."you see Elaine I just have so many windows open and I cant keep track." That was completely unnecessary, and all this WINDOW confusion needs to stop.

Okay here is the lesson to be learned.

A. I don't give a crap if you have friends and you have forty billion windows open on AIM. I still think you are uncool and your eagerness to be popular disgusts me.

B. By talking about another specimen, one of the opposite sex, exlaiming the degrees of hotness they are...and how you would like to fulfill your sexual desires with them.....does not....I repeat.....does not move me once again. You see I was born with this quality called...Apathy. Yes apathy. It is a family curse you see. We could really give a damn of what people think or say about us. Yet I suppose its wearing off in my generation because I...seem to care sometimes more times than others. But that isn't the point of topic here or one of those caring times. While I was given the gift of apathy...I use it on a day to day basis. You see my classmate or this aimster...thinks that they are getting my attention by bragging about such...stupidity. I can only stare at the screen with a seemingly plain face and a sheer lack of emotion and expression. Why? Because...frankly my dear I don't give a damn.

C. Bragging on how you and other classmates hang out all the time to smoke weed does not make you cool. Period.

Those are some very important tips to be learned. You see, most teenagers take AIM way to seriously. One, you can't hear me,

Two, IF I TYPE LIKE TIHS IT DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN IM SCREAMING, IN FACT IM SITTING AT MY DESK AND I AM NOT SCREAMING. Ok enough of that.

Three please, for the love of Russia, Shakira, and all things that are fruitful...do not go about taking me seriously on AOL. Also I get frequent angry IMERS saying..."WTF YOU DONT IM ME ANYMORE" ....okay my ni**a calm your snoop dog attitude and if you ever repeat WTF to me again and it not meaning WHAT THE FREAK....I will be forced to block you.
Well for your information angry IMERS....I usually don't keep my buddy list "docked". As much as of a surprise that is...I find docking my buddy list to be a major pain in the assets. I, having the Obsessive compulsive disorder ways...tend to be annoyed by little things in my way. Which is why...I usually close it out. You see, when that happens...I don't know who signs on and off.
Ah...I hear a rebuttal "but those little windows pop up on the sides saying who signed in and who is away and stuff." Yes my fellow aol challenged friend...Of that I am aware of...Come on now...I was around for AOL 1.0 the beginning of AIM do you honestly think....that I don't know that? Anywho...yes that is activated on my list of preferences. But when I am on the computer...particularly playing PANDA CRAZE..(which by the way is the new black)...I don't seem to pay attention to these windows. There for....the lack of...IMS coming from me. Its not because I hate you or I do not wish to speak to you. Nonono my aol emo childs....its only because...I hardly pay attention to my buddy list. Is that my negligence? Yes...it is really.

Or the other simple reason why I won't IM is because...
A. you talk about stupidity and you don't "inteletctually stimulate" me.
B. which is the most common one...I may be afraid that if I IM you I am bothering you. So I mind my buisness.

Groups:

So groups are a very common accessory to the AIM buddy list. How many groups do you have? Two? Four? SEVENTEEN? Okay...I will not lie...I have about 2-3 groups..Which is the common. I had friends, mobile, and a best friend who has like 45 sns has their own category. Now you see I'm back down to two because my new remote control or better known as my nextel...does not have AOL. So I only have two groups. But seriously...WHO...WHO has 5 or 6 groups...."Haters" "Posers" "Sluts" "Emos" "HOMIE GS" or frequently said "MY DAWGS...or NI**AS" "LOSERS". I can't help but chuckle... but you can actually tell/read a person from their groups.

Lets do an excercise and some examples.

Name_____Date_____

1. Little Jimmy is a new student from Denver...Please in a brief short statement below name what type of person Little Jimmy is by using your knowledge on AIM buddy list groups.

DenVerFeveRrR85's Buddy list:

BEST FRIENDS:
Niklo574
FarmGirlSlut696969
I LUV BARNS 58
FRIENDS:
JerryLewis87

PEOPLE I HATE:
ToxicShockSyndrome3
IHATELITTLEJIMMY21

Well, It is obvious here that little jimmy is a normal teen but a depressed farm boy. His groups lack pazzazz and all that jazz. He seems boring and lacks color in his life. Obviously, he needs to go back to Denver.



2. Angelica has just graduated the 8th grade and is going to highschool for the first time. Please in a brief short statement below name what type of person Angelica is by using your knowledge on AIM buddy list groups.

FornicatorAngelica2's Buddylist:

BFFS!!: Slave4U4EVA
IhaveWillysWONKA
NickCartersWifey12
PassionFruitismydesire

CUTEBOYS!:
Jacob
xxxSKATERDUDExxx69
ToysRusKID4LYFE

GIRLS I HATE:
MyBreastsAreReal
AngelicaIsAHater
B1tchH31sM1n3

POSERS:
RevengeOfTheSITH69
XoHarryPottersGFXo
IlackCharisma45
GoldenGurl321

MYSPACE PEEPS:
I11BurFantasee
ASL40MNY
HornyMale40MNY
LetsMEET40MNY

My my Angelica is a busy pre-teen. So what does her buddylist say about her? She is a slightly normal teenage girl who is more worried about classifications than her classes. Her interests in the class system is that similar to the middle ages. If you are a peasant or in this case a "loser" you will get no where in life and probably rot. If you are a BFF or a "lord" you will cruise life in a breeze. Miss little Angelica is also prone to sexual predators because of her young age and stupidity. She is the next amber alert waiting to happen. Although, not all is lost...now that she is starting highschool she may hit her next phase...Emo or Goth Punk. Then her life will truly be over.



3. John is a student at Long Island University. His parents are rich and own a successful deli in Westbury. Their frequent visitor are the Gottis. John owns a 2005 BMW and is planning to get a Mercedes early next year. Please in a brief short statement below name what type of person John is by using your knowledge on AIM buddy list groups.

BringerOfDeath666's Buddylist:

Goth Friends:
Windows98Rox
DaPolicerNazi
HateDahWurld
AngryDancer666
Luciferismyhomeboy

Posers:
Jacob
JackieChanizMyHero
IloveJohn86

LoveOfMyLife:
TinaTurnerFan

Oh dear John boy...you are nothing more but a spoiled rich kid tangled in a web of emotions. You are not a goth, you are what we call an emo. You need to see a therapist and have him precribe you some candy. While you are at it, look at your self in the mirror and realize, hey...I'm rich...gay...and I knwo the gottis...What am I waiting for? Yea John, What are you waiting for? You are nothing more but one of the fab 5 in the making. Do your self a favor, take down the flock of seagulls hair style, take off the eye make up, break up with your tina turner loving girlfriend and come out of the closet. Go out talk to the gottis and have un protected sex for crying out loud.



4. Julian is a hard working young man who is 18 and going to turn 19 in a month. He enjoys playing basketball sometimes, and attends Long Island University. He works part time and also likes to attend social events with his friends. Julian does not smoke or drink or take illegal narcotics. Note: Do not base your judgement on Julian because he does not do any drugs. Please in a brief short statement below name what type of person Julian is by using your knowledge on AIM buddy list groups.


HoplessRomantic85's Buddylist:

Friends:
IamaWeenie7
OscarmeyerWeiner
IluvMCR4LYFE
DucktalesYOOHOO
Gigglemonster54

Friends from work:
JohnsonNJohnson
IloveFergie

Family:
JulianisaFAg
IhAtEJuLian
Julia69696969
XOXOPrissyChrissyXOXO

Mobile:


Julian, wow. This is an example of a good buddy list. It also says a lot about Julian. Julian is a hopeless romantic looking for love in all the wrong places. He has many friends and of different varieties. He does not subject himself to one group of people, instead he diversifies. What makes things better is that he is working and also keeps his work seperate from his play time. And lastly, Julian is a family man. Although what seems to be his little sister harrassing him, he still keeps her on his buddy list and gives her a category. Julian is an up and coming young man. He is cute but doesn't know it and can be very shy. Although he isn't perfect for it seems he needs to be a little more open, he can be a real great guy. Julian is a keeper!


I hope that the excercise above was able to provide you with some insight on how to read buddylist groups. Aim if not used correctly can become a crime. Aim is a useful tool to keep in touch with your friends and family instantly. Hence the term Instant messenger. Yet some people choose to abuse this tool of technology. They may use it to talk to strangers and or sexual predators, remember boys and girls...Brian peppers can be IMING you! Also Aim is for recreational purposes. Do not take the other user too seriously, unless its a legit argument. Remember you can not hear or see them. So don't be overly dramatic and type things you shouldn't or you'll be known as the aol jackass or Sensitive (insert name here.) I encourage you to send me your questions, comments, and concerns. I will be frequently writing about the dangers of aol and how to recognize the many things of the virtual world of AOL. Please look forward to topics such as "Profiles...how they can ruin you!", "Little girls seducing old men", "Buddy alerts? Are They Necessary To You?" and many many more! Once again I look forward to your comments and kudos.

Sincerely,




AOL Master

I use MSN.....orgnote me!

abierman said:

you wrote this? Its brilliant! Good stuff.

ufoclub said:

thank you...and yes i wrote it lol

I'm liking that rant sweetie good work

mdiver said:

You're still on AOHell???

POOK said: