Do you say whats on your mind or do you not like to rock the boat for fear of causing offence?

In other words do you bite your tongue often, sometimes, or all the time, or never?

just curious really.


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[Edited 12/12/05 7:02am]

I say what needs to be said, but only if there is a purpose behind it.

For example, if someone is annoying or unlikeable, I have no intention of letting them know. But if it's affected mine or my coworkers job performance, than I tell 'em, and I'm not in the slightest shy about it.

Opinions are great, and rocking the boat is important, but always ensure there is a point to doing it, I say. Or else, you end up being that annoying person I just spoke of.

The older I get, the more I let it rip and say what's on my mind. Life is too short to hold back. If it hurts someone's feelings I usually keep it to myself.

'Girl, you did not just come out here with those sweats on and no make-up!'

I'm just back from a 24 hour ban, so I guess that answers your question.

retina said:

My friends and family seem to think I'm fairly good at expressing my opinions, sometimes to the point of bluntness. I know that my views are generally sought and respected, but that also I'm used as a "last resort". For instance, if my niece is playing up the threat to tell me about it usually has an affect.

The weird thing is that I believe I always try to be tactful and not to hurt others. And I believe myself to be easy-going and non-judgemental.

So I think perhaps I'm both. Sometimes I hold back from saying what I feel on a given subject, but if I'm invited to present a viewpoint it will be what I really think.

LleeLlee said:

I say what's on my mind and I don't give a shit about rocking the boat (often that boat, needs to be rocked). Because of this, I am often referred to as "opinionated" (a word I find redundant, because we are all opinionated on everything, it's just that some people are afraid to express those opinions). A favourite quote of mine that I've had in my sig before:

"If you're not willing to be booed occasionally, then I promise you, you're not saying anything very real." - Bill Maher

Ace said:

What about if someone asks if they're ugly or your barber asks where you've been?

It all depends , in some cases I just flip out rant and rave and other times its just easier to keep your mouth shut for a quiet life .

Trouble is when I do keep me gob shut I tend to stew resulting in a rant and a rave

applekisses said:

There is a difference between rocking the boat and being insensitive.

AsianBomb777 said:

I think you are right, it's the intention that matters.

Ace said:

Opinionated people are often viewed as "difficult." which is an unfair label.

i speak right out. both to my detriment and gain. unfortunately women who have an opinion and voice it are sometimes regarded as being 'shrill', or 'bossy'

BUT i hate game playing and fake communications

HAHAHAHAHA!!! I'm never known to "bite my tongue". People always say honesty is the best policy, but then when you are honest they hate you for it. It's a catch 22 really...

I always start off by saying, "Do you want the truth or a lie."


I do not want to offend, but I do like to be honest.

XxAxX, Carrie and Sag, three difficult women





it is a catch 22, because it can be viewed as challenging the status quo, putting a spanner in the works etc. And you're not viewed as lovable, who cares? really.

i am very much a pacifist. i will hold way back from saying anything, but if you really aggressively and repeatedly push my button and piss me off, i will let fly.

LleeLlee said:

The status quo should always be challenged. As I tell my nieces, "Question everything".

People who are threatened by what is being said will sometimes try to shut the discussion down with the "difficult" label. Intelligent, open-minded people will debate the subject.

I love opinionated women. I love to debate ideas. It fires my imagination and my libido.

LleeLlee said:

I mean't there's no win situation. Damned if you do, damned if you don't!

CarrieLee said:

In the words of a very intelligent, opinionated woman:

(spoken:)
Express yourself, don’t repress yourself (repeat 4 times)

Chorus:

And I’m not sorry [I’m not sorry]
It’s human nature [it’s human nature]
And I’m not sorry [I’m not sorry]
I’m not your bitch, don’t hang your shit on me [it’s human nature]

You wouldn’t let me say the words I longed to say
You didn’t want to see life through my eyes
[express yourself, don’t repress yourself]
You tried to shove me back inside your narrow room
And silence me with bitterness and lies
[express yourself, don’t repress yourself]

Did I say something wrong?
Oops, I didn’t know I couldn’t talk about sex!
[i musta been crazy]
Did I stay too long?
Oops, I didn’t know I couldn’t speak my mind!
[what was I thinking?]

(chorus)

You punished me for telling you my fantasies
And breakin’ all the rules I didn’t make
[express yourself, don’t repress yourself]
You took my words and made a trap for silly fools
You held me down and tried to make me break
[express yourself, don’t repress yourself]

Bridge:

Did I say something true?
Oops, I didn’t know I couldn’t talk about sex!
[i musta been crazy]
Did I have a point of view?
Oops, I didn’t know I couldn’t talk about you!
[what was I thinking]

(chorus)

Express yourself, don’t repress yourself (repeat twice)
Express yourself, don’t repress yourself (repeat twice)

(bridge)
(chorus)

(chorus, with the following spoken substitutions)
[I’m not apologizing]
[would it sound better if I were a man?]
[you’re the one with the problem]
[why don’t you just deal with it?]

(chorus, with the following spoken substitutions)
[would you like me better if I was?]
[we all feel the same way]
[i have no regrets]
[just look in the mirror]

(chorus, with the following spoken substitutions)
[i don’t have to justify anything]
[I’m just like you]
[why should I be? ]
[deal with it!]

Ace said:

But where do you draw that line?

(I know where I do...I'm curious about where you do.)

applekisses said:

That line can be drawn in lots of different places. It is a very complex equation and intelligent people can do that math on the fly.

Ace said:

I'm finding that as I get older, I'm way less confrontational and more diplomatic. I used to be quite "in yer face" and confrontational. These days, not so much.

Could have to do with those court ordered anger management classes. Dunno. They really pissed me off.

applekisses said:

Don't roll your eyes at me.

I am entirely serious. Life cannot be broken down into a rulebook (if it could, there would be a million exceptions to every rule). I am just confident that I am an intelligent, sensitive person who knows where to draw the line and I don't hear complaints, so I guess the answer is "It's instinctual".

Ace said:

I was not rolling my eyes at you...I was using a computer-generated character to help convey some of my feelings regarding your comment. Intelligent people can distinguish between the two.

ya'll who know me well enough should know damn well which of those two categories i fall in.

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

timid, shy, and virginal?

cborgman said:

heh-heh...you said "virginal".