Well i am stuck right now with a decision that i need advise on. You all are just 30 percent and i am getting advise from others and they said yeah cause that person won't listen to you!!!. I have a friend (supposely) who is seeing someone who was seeing someone who is now positive and done it with them afterwards from the conflicting stories i gotten!!!! The only reason my friend knows cause i told them what the infected person told me cause my friend supposely boyfriend kept it hidden. I been scolding him non stop to get away from him but he keep saying i am a drama queen and its none of my business.I already advised some people and they all sided with me and said something need to be done about this. Well should i tell the other close close friends about this and the parents to set my friend straight, or just let him keep doing it with him and get infected and break his other friends and family heart knowing that i knew and did nothing to stop it.. There's more but i am not going to reveal and its no one else on here for the record if u believe me.
[Edited 12/12/05 1:37am]
[Edited 12/12/05 1:38am]
[Edited 12/12/05 1:41am]

There is nothing you can do to stop the actions of another. No matter how hard you try. You can only take care of number one, that is yourself. Don't be a busy body. What people do they will do. What you do is up to you.

MickG said:

Well man, it is hard cause i looked or used to look at this dumb ass like my son. I still treat him like my son and care about him like my kid and i don';t won't to see him get hurtlike that. This affects me too in a big way but i am not going to reveal everything.

saintsation said:

There was a man, a begger, once that came up to me. He asked if I could give him a dollar, but I gave him 5. He went down the street on his way to eat, but he was mugged and was shot and died for that 5 dollar bill. Maybe if I hadn't given it to him, he would still be alive today.

That's some real Jedi shit right there. We must always be aware of how our actions even if we believe them to be positive might create a wave in the force that turns into a negitive.

What if you by telling people lead to his rebelion and getting "it" or even his suicide? Although your entention was good, the results are cosmic, and they are beyond your control. Let it flow, or tell them and roll the dice.

If what you know will significantly change someone's life if you keep the info to yourself, then tell. You should always do what you feel is best to protect the ones you love.

saintsation said:

Your description of this scenario is so messy that it is difficult to tell for sure exactly what is going on, but from what I understand person A is infected with HIV and has had sex with person B. Person B is now in a relationship with person C and even though both B and C know that there is a risk for infection, they continue having sex. And person B calls you a drama queen for trying to talk them out of it. Is that roughly how it is? Or is person C kept in the dark about all this?

If he is, then the only right thing to do is tell him the whole story, so that he can base his decisions on an accurate understanding of the situation. If not, and both person B and person C know about the infection and still keep having sex, then it immediately becomes more tricky. They are adults who are entitled to decide about their own lives, including the risks they take. At the same time, they might not fully understand the implications of their actions, plus what they do could lead to a lot of suffering for the family. I would have a long hard talk with person B and C and try to make them understand the full extent of the situation and how hurtful it could become for themselves and others. I'd also advise them to get tested pronto. Before you do any of this though, I think you should double-check the facts, and sort out the "conflicting stories" so that at least you know for sure what is going on.

MickG said:

Well, what if it doesn't lead to infection or suicide?

If everybody would refrain from acting out of fear that their actions could have negative consequences then we would have a cold, selfish, passive, and uncaring world. Your line of reasoning is just a coward's way of justifying his cowardice.

CalhounSq said:

Retina has tried to sort out the story but I'm still confused.

Generally I think it's best not to interfere in other people's relationships but I'm unclear on whether you know that someone doesn't know that they're having sex with someone who's positive or not.

I think you may have to consider saying something if you're sure this is the case, but how to do it without losing a friendship is difficult and you may have to accept that there is a price to pay. Also, at some point you have to step back and appreciate that you're dealing with other adults and that they may well all be aware of the situation and handling it sensibly.

The long and short of it is that I'm confused about what the actual situation is and would advise against rushing in and getting shot as the messenger if you're not able to actually influence a good outcome or are unaware of all the facts.

I don't know whether that helps but I wanna give you a anyway ... it sounds like a horrible situation to be in.
[Edited 12/12/05 7:13am]

MickG said:

neva mind
[Edited 12/12/05 6:13am]

Mach said:

No, let's hear it.

See people, if u knew the whole story , u would see i am not messy and i have every right to do what i am doing cause this involves me too in a big huge way no different from those other 3 fools on here. Yes the person told me he was tested and results were negative. I just found out yesterday he was lying telling me so i can get off his back. No results take 3 to 4 weeks to come back and when i say stuff, i get this reaction, whats done is done!!!! What the hell is that?!!!!
[Edited 12/12/05 7:22am]