Spats said:

who are you and when are you leaving?

Spats said:

you insensitive asshole ...a new low spats who would've thought?

Lola sweetie just remember it happened for a reason and it happened for you to learn from hon... seek that lesson and remember tomorrow brings a new dawn

Just giving the girl some advice so she does not go through this "heartache" again.

Spats said:

she don't need advice from you
hell, no one does.

Spats said:

evolve please

Wow, a lot of people really be disrespecting Spats.

shausler said:

Evolve into a kiss ass, wishy washy man?

Just trying to kelp the girl out. It's just common sense.

Spats said:

oh ok

since you put it so well

i see your point

thanks for clearing that up

.
[Edited 12/8/05 13:45pm]

honestly you will evolve if you stick around here long enough

many of us me included started out here

flailing around like indisiplined ass wipes

no control

no edicate

no class

but with time

even you who ever you are

will grow

and i will be front row



dont worry i wont point out your past

after all


search dont work

shausler said:

Speak for yourself, will ya?


[Edited 12/8/05 13:49pm]

Spats said:

Yeah, next time just don't try to have a meaninful connection with anyone, 'kay?

I'm starting to suspect that you've been fucked over badly.

gemini13 said:

i'm glad someone is really finally starting to understand Spats instead of backlashing him. The statement in bold describes him to a tee, thats why he speaks the way does.....of course he'll probably deny it..most people don't like to admit when they have been fucked over, especially by someone they didn't expect to fuck them over.
I think all he needs is this
[Edited 12/8/05 16:47pm]

Spats said:

evolving into a man would be a good start.

I don't recall being f**ked over. I don't need any TLC. I need a good f**k.

What do you consider a man? I think our ideas of what a real man is are very different. My idea does not include kissing women's asses, being whipped, doing romantic b.s. to make women happy, Cooperating with women's game playing, etc, etc.

Spats said:

Can you define this "ass kissing" and "playing games"?

Asskissing = Willing to do anything to please them, treating them like queens, acting like they are better than us ,etc, etc.

Games = Wanting the man to do all the pursuing, teasing, etc, etc.

Lola, I think you can be thankful that he told you after two years. Some people stay with people for many years, get married and only then realise that they're unhappy and should never have got together. This was a huge learning experience and I'm sure you both grew as a result of being together. Unfortunately the most important lessons are often the most painful. I hope the pain does not last too long and that you're able to move on once you've reflected on what he meant to you and what you feel you've learned from being together.

At the moment you're concentrating on what you've lost. In fact, the way I see it, you've gained a huge amount. Obviously it was a tough lesson, but who wants to be with someone who's not ready for commitment or who has doubts about the relationship?

I don't see him (or Spats btw) as being callous. There's nothing wrong with someone deciding they're not ready for commitment. We all have to be truthful to ourselves at the end of the day. For you, it was just a case of wanting different things. Don't beat yourself up about this. There will be a man out there who will appreciate the beautiful you and will want to snap you up for his very own.

x

Reincarnate said:

Exactly. Don't me mad at guys like us that do not want to settle down. Settling down is not for everybody.

LolaM said:

You'll get over it by carry on crying. The brutal truth is, we just get tired of being sad and move onto whatever we might consider to be our next phase. But you'll just have to do some mourning first.

Or find someone new, who's better-looking. For some odd and very unromantical reason this strategy works far better than my first proposition.

True. Go out and find someon better looking. That's what i try to do after i have broken up with a woman.

It's terrible, but it works.

Spats said:

I have read all your posts and neither agree or disagree Spats. If you feel that you don't want to settle down then thats fine, its your choice. However, I'm a caring person who enjoys having close relationships, not just romantic but friendships also. I open myself up, engage with and care for people and I believe that although I may get hurt, its the only way to be totally happy.

I'm not knocking you or my boyfriend for feeling like you do that but surely if you know you're not into settling down you should stick to one-night stands instead of getting into fairly serious relationships with people before backing out??? I wasn't pushing him into settling down, I was just looking forward to getting back to Belfast to spend some quality time with him.

Reincarnate said:

I do agree with everything you said. Its just knocked my confidence so much that I keep wondering what I did to stop him from caring about me. However, I know that he's never really stuck it out very long with anyone (I'm his most long-term g/f to date) and isn't into commitment. My Mum keeps telling me its not my fault but she would tell me anything to cheer me up.

My only problem is that I think people that aren't ready for commitment shouldn't be engaging in this sort of relationship. Surely you should casually date or have one-night stands rather than fuck around with someones head!!!

missfee said:

I cn't speak for Spats but I know my ex hasn't been fucked over by anyone. He's just really independent and doesn't seem to feel the need to engage and get close to people. I don't know if deep down he is scared of something but I know he hasn't been fucked over.

LolaM said:

Do you know what I think? I think you must be really special if you're his most long-term girlfriend to date. And I also think your mum's right and that you shouldn't underestimate the wisdom she has - of course she wants to make you feel better but mums can also generally be relied upon to tell it as it is

And perhaps he really did want to make it work with you, maybe you were the closest he's found to someone he thought he could settle down with. But in the end, he decided he's not ready and may never be ready.

Girl, don't feel bad about yourself - feel special ... it certainly sounds like you've played a unique role in this man's life.

x

time is a motherfucker. I still miss my last girlfriend. And for mounths now i have had no one steady. Heck iam here on a firday night. Some nights i'd rather be home with my mates then go out. I'd rather be home alone and date someone with a heart then go out "ripping the streets". Anyway, sorry for the (new)jack of ur thread.

thesexofit said:

Hey sexofit, don't worry about the (new) jack of the thread. Its nice to see that a guy feels lonely too. Sometimes I would rather have a quiet night in than go out clubbing and "on the pull".