Hey all. Haven't been on in a while because my internet access is limited. Just suffering from the worst feeling ever - a broken heart! I'm 26 and have just split up with my boyfriend and I feel like shit. We had been going out for almost two years when he told me last week that he had doubts about us. He said that his feelings for me had changed and he wasn't sure what to do. I think the butterflies stage (infatuation) had passed and where I was getting closer and commiting emotionally he wasn't. I felt that things hadn't been the same between us for a while but put that down to the fact that I had moved home about 3 months prior and we were hating the long distance relationship.

I hate to whinge but this came so out of the blue. I haven't slept or eaten really since it happened and I'm so fucking angry with him. However, he said he isn't into commitment and I suppose I knew that dep down but why spend two years of your life with someone and then chuck them to the side. I feel totally emotionally crushed.

Any thoughts or advice (besides to stop crying and get over it!!!)?????

LolaM said:

It is hard sweetie but time....time is the only way. We could say try not to think about it but you will, we could say all sorts of things but the only real way is time.
But just learn from it to make the future better and know that we are pulling for you

P

i'm really sorry hun...really am...

LolaM said:

All I can say is hang in there, stay close to family and friends. Dont spend too much time alone. I know this is HARD, I went through something similar just recently. I didnt go about handling the situation the right way. So, my advise is very limited.

Buy chocolate, with almonds and nuts. Think about all the moments you wanted to be alone with yourself. Bathe, take care of yourself, try to live and not think.

If I would be there I would fix you a good green tea with soya, light candles. Make it great to be yourself, alone or not. If you feel like crying, do it, you'll sleep better (remember to wipe your mascara)...

Nobody deserves what you feel. And you can go on loving him and understand him...

He could call tomorrow back, who knows ?

K'mon, girl !?

Thank you so much for your replies. I know time will heal, I just feel so raw at the moment. I'm angry with myself too because I'm wasting too much time thinking about this. I've just finished my PhD and I'm due to graduate on 20th Dec plus I've just got a new job as a research associate - I should be ecstatic!!!! I think I'm finding it especially hard as I'm away from all my friends. I'm due to move back to Belfast next week so hopefully I will be better soon.

Thanks again for your replies
[Edited 12/7/05 15:32pm]

LolaM said:

It looks more like a global nervous breakdown.

I re-sign my comment and add honey with your tea.

And congrats. Give yourself time and rest.
[Edited 12/7/05 15:36pm]

Try not to get too upset Lola. It's clearly his loss. A beautiful, sexy lady like yourself won't be on their own for long. Shame I'm not there because I'd make you a nice cup of tea.

Boy,Can i relate to that guy. I have felt the same thing many times. It's good to know i am not alone in not wanting to settle down.

JDINTERACTIVE said:

You quote me !!!


Enough tea, then ?

Spats said:

just rub the salt in the wound you bloody wanker.

Spats said:

Say something nice, or get the fuck out of the thread. Completely unwarrented nasty comments are never welcome.

Lola - Time heals wounds.

Spats said:

To Spats : I hope you are honest with the ladies

To Lola: Look up what you missed !!!

I am not being nasty. Just saying i can relate to what she is describing about her boyfriend. Don't be too hard on the guy. I am like that too.

breaking up is like breaking off of heroin, you go through withdrawal that shakes the soul.

but you do lose the bad feelings in time.
[Edited 12/7/05 16:10pm]

I have told the girls in the past the same thing once or twice but other times i just did things to make them want to break up with me. Not calling, Stuff like that. To be nicer he should have done it that way.

Spats said:

You make me sick. but this is lola's thread, and i'll not continue this here.

evenstar3 said:

co-signed fully....
disgusting pig...



s to lola... everything'll pan out... you need 2 focus on u right now...

Spats said:

She was asking about advice you idiot.



Back on topic, I was going to say something similar to JD and virginie.

My other advice is to not shut the next guy out, especially if he's a nice guy.

ufoclub said:

you have a great and vivid way of describing exactly what she will be going through....

Spats said:

I want to poke your tummy and see if you giggle or disappear, man.

Cry a lot, sleep a lot and try your best to remember it's not your fault.

CarrieMpls said:

I get horny when I'm sad. Do you? Tell me about it.

It takes time and chocolate! Be good to yourself! And doll yourself up there are many guys out there!

Number23 said:

sometimes I do.

Orgnote waiting for ya. I feel your pain 100%

heartache is for me a companion of mine

it revisits constantly

it fuels me creatively

we are friends

you'll be ok. if it's not meant to be it just isn't.
and you don't want to be with someone who doesn't appreciate you 100% so think of his departure as opening the door for a better possibility to arrive

Number23 said:

same here. also, when i'm happy, hungry, tired, blue, well-rested, full, joyous, etc.

Next time don't get so wrapped up in a guy that you feel so lousy if he dumps you.