If you are screwing someone you have every right to ask and know how many people the person has been with. if for no other reason then the disease factor. Sounds like this women has issues if she has had that many partners at such a young age. When did she start screwing? When she was 12??? Ugh. Nasty.

Spats said:

You can have only one partner and get a disease. if disease is an issue, then both people should get tested. You really don't have that right to know how many the slept with before you
[Edited 12/6/05 21:42pm]

hence the reason why it is best NOT to ask the question if you don't want to hear the answer. and no. its noones business but my own who/how many guys i have slept with. all they need to know is that i always used protection and that i have been tested and all's clear.

A lot of guys I know want to know that when they are walking down the street with their girlfriend/wife, that not every guy walking past them has fucked her as well.. Just an idea as to why he may have ended it?

For a lot of guys it's just a pride thing, you know.."My baby is a lady" type thing..

But guys seem to be a lot more accepting of girls having numerous sexual partners these days than say 20 years ago that's for sure

lillith said:

i find that mentality so strange. Whenever i've been in a relationship, how many people the other has been with is one of the topics that comes up and it's never a big deal. If someone didn't tell me how many people they've been with i'd be suspicious as to what else they're not telling me and why they're so ashamed. i would never leave someone for the number of people they've been with but i would for being shady, dishonest, and hiding shit.

the number of women a guy has been with doesn't much bother me and i've never had a guy who has been bothered by the number of men i've been with. after reading this thread though i wonder if they would have been bothered if the number had been in the double digits.

charlottegelin said:

Does she sleep with every single guy she dates?

I don't know, if I had slept with a hundred women I think sex would definitely have started to lose its "magic" for me. All the encounters would start to blend in to one big mass and I'd probably start comparing their physical attributes and behaviour rather than to see each one as a unique and personal experience (kind of like checking light bulbs on a conveyor belt as opposed to hand crafting a piece of furniture...or something). I'm not condemning those that do want a great number of sexual partners, but for me I want there to be some sort of "extra spark" between us to go to bed, and that doesn't happen too often. Maybe I'm just picky.

JasmineFire said:

Exactly. Openness is one of the most important things in a relationship. Just because you think your partner will react negatively to what you have to tell them, that shouldn't be enough reason to keep quiet (withheld truths = passive lies). Just follow up what you said with a discussion, if needed. If nothing else, at least your partner's reactions will teach you something about them and thereby hopefully bring you closer to them. If not, then maybe it wasn't meant to be.

retina said:

Probably. Usually she goes out with them for a couple of months or so. She was always hoping he would be "the one".

retina said:

exactly

JasmineFire said:

probably.

i just don't see the point of risking it. if you truly care about the person it shouldn't matter. i just don't think it should be a question that is asked...if the guy i was with wanted to know i would answer him honestly, i just hope he could handle the answer. i would not return the question to him...i don't want to know.

Spats said:

That's so odd! Prince has plenty of songs about worshipping women, doing all the things you say are stupid. Do those songs make you crazy Spats?

CalhounSq said:

Did he get out with a girl with a big nose ? All his ladies were/are much prettier one from the another, my boyfriend would tell u the same as Spats and I'm not Cindy C. !

Spats, one day you'll be heard. There must be a one like you. Even I found it...

Yes, prince has done songs where he kisses women's asses. He has his faults too. It's nice to know stars like him make mistakes as well.

Spats said:

Wouldn't you ?

Are you legal ?

Ace said:

thank you 18-20 men is a hell of a number for a 23 year old....but if he really cared about her he wouldn't have broken up with her. I guess he automatically assumes that she must be a "promiscuous" person since she has had that many partners...but next question should have been, (since he wanted to go there in the first place) was has she had an HIV test, and other STD tests, to at least ease his mind. She might have been wild in her younger years but have calmed down.
[Edited 12/7/05 16:38pm]

lillith said:

so if it doesn't matter then why not tell them? i'm not ashamed of who has been in my past no matter if there were one or one hundred. if someone leaves you for something like that, then what's the point of being with them in the first place?

Dennis Rodman said last night on Carson Daily he's been with 1500-2000 girls. Wilt Chamberlain has been with what 7000. That's Sick. I just think a man shouldn't Care about the past. If a girl is with you and faithful and has no diseases so that is all that Matters if you LOVE HER....

Can we give it a rest with "If ya love her it won't matter" stuff. Stop reading the romance novels where love should always win out. This is reality and the girl has been with 20 guys by the age of 23. The woman has issues.

Spats...Maybe...Maybe Not but well it really shouldn't matter ya know a Man would LOVE all the action.

Spats said:

and maybe she's worked out her issues and behaves differently than she did in the past. it's been known to happen.

No! SPATS MAYBE It BOTHERS U or SOME MEN ,BUT NOT EVERYONE... She shouldn't Care about him if he is so FOOLISH and ABRUPT after being with her so long. He's a CREEP.

JasmineFire said:

i didn't say i wouldn't tell them. what i said is that i don't think the question should be asked in the first place. personally i don't think the question is relevant to a relationship and i don't think its anyones business but my own.

When you think about it, that is alot for a woman. 20 sexual partners and she's what 23 you said.

Rinluv said:

--and a man

Rinluv said:

so tell me...
why isn't it a lot for a man?

dont give me that bullshit c'mon now boy...

SammiJ said:

Boy?

Rinluv said:

what, does that hurt your feelings?
sorry

now explain yourself.

It's way too much for anyone at that age. I wouldn't go near her. Nasty. I don't blame the guy for taking a hike. The woman was obviously not very selective about who she had sex with.

SammiJ said:

It didn't hurt my feelings. It's you were talkin' to me like I was some little ass kid. I'm All man. Anyway

Damn, yall sensitive. I didn't mean to start up anything I was just speakin' my mind as usual. 20 different partners by 23 yrs old down here that is considerd an H-O-E. That's a lot for a man to have to. I think some people would say for a man it's a little different.

20 for a man: Playa, pimp, high fives all around.
20 for a woman: ho, skank, slut.

If I had had 20 or more partners, I'd still be flying my freak flag high. Fuck haters.