When I was a kid- if I got carried away by doing stuff like hiding under tables and (at Chinese restaurants) going crazy with chopsticks- all it took was my mum's dagger eyes and my dad's bellowing voice calling my name and i sat in one spot These dayz kids run rampant. I'm not saying we were brought up perfectly- but seriously they can get away with murder sometimez!!

I saw this little girl have a coniption (sp?) fit in The Coffee Bean and I was pissed that here mom was talking to her calmly. Apparantly the girl was expressing what kind of muffin she wanted, but she was acting desperate. I just wanted to shake the shit out of her

lilmissmissy said:

send her over to my place

Kids come into my local coffeeshop all of the time with their parents. Most of the time, they're well-behaved and I love to talk to them and I smile at their cute outfits, facial expressions and harmless antics. But at a certain age, I've noticed that it's a LOT harder for them to sit still in such an adult-focused place with nothing for them to do. I think it's kind of selfish of adults to expect the 2-3-4 yr old kid to just sit there and be good while they read the paper with a cup of coffee for 20 or 30 mins. Take the coffee to go and take a walk with the kid so s/he can get some stimulation!

AnotherLoverToo said:

when i was a kid, i HATED it when my mom and grandma would go to a diner and drink coffee and talk for hours. it was torture! kids just don't appreciate that kind of chilling out...they want to play. it's not the kind of setting for kids. you wanna do that and you can't get rid of the kids for the day...drink coffee and chat at home. or reschedule. or bring the kid and make sure they have lots of books and things to keep them quiet and occupied. people have options. sheesh.

Anxiety said:

or chat on the org where no-one can hear them screaming

charlottegelin said:

aha!

Anxiety said:

Exactly! And back then, when everyone smoked anywhere they pleased, it was usually someplace full of cig smoke. I swear, I remember being a kid and having almost zero impulse control! Whatever popped into my head or appealed to me, I went for it. And my brother and I fought like crazy and hit each other all of the time, even in public. And it wasn't that my mom wasn't paying attention--even though I knew my mom was gonna beat my ass when we got home, I still had to do these things. I was a KID, and that's what kids do until they get old enough to chill the fuck out a little.

Anxiety said:

my secret

Anxiety said:

wow... he is cute to boot !!

shucks, he was right for putting the sign up, parents don't know how teach their kids to behave anymore...they keep giving them too many options instead of just getting that belt out...

missfee said:

they should make it legal to hit your kids again bloody softies

charlottegelin said:

Awww

charlottegelin said:

It's not just that. Children these days are a lot LOUDER than they used to be, and that's because parents these days believe that putting any restrictions on their offspring is going to damage their "natural development".

I live in an apartment where I constantly have to listen to the neighbours' two children scream and rampage around totally wanton. They start it at 8:30AM and stop it at about 9:15PM, there's absolutely no restrictions on them. What's worse, the family can't get evicted because everyone in today's societies is so pro-children that absolutely anything goes. The whole system has been organized that way.

Novabreaker said:

damn ... i'd bop mine if they were that loud

I've found that people are very understanding about the normally well-behaved child who occasionally loses it. There's a difference between the latter sort of child, and the ones who've never been raised with any discipline at all.

In other words, my daughter has been raised with manners (well, she is growing up in France) and I've never had a problem anywhere in the US - on planes or in restaurants.

Something different between here and there though, is that it seems people here still have a sort of village mentality - they'll discipline a child they don't know with a look, or a finger to the mouth. I find that great, and very caring, much in the same way that perfect strangers used to correct my French for me when I first arrived.

So bravo to this shop owner. Parents aren't doing their children any favors be being permissive. As I told my daughter the other day, before shutting her in her room to calm down, "There's no way I'm going to allow you to grow up a spoiled brat!"

Anxiety said:

I love the children of all ages part I have been MANY a place where there are adults that have no clue how to use their "inside voices". I've been places where there are both kids and adults and the adults are acting the way you would expect the kids to be and the kids are sitting there looking @ them like WTF?

I don't think people can generalize and say all kids act this way either. I have been absolutely SPOLIED with my friends 2 kids, they have been extremely well behaved since they were little. You could take them anywhere. I'm afraid my kids will never be that perfect *lol* I miss their daddy

I do think it has everything to do with parents just not teaching their kids manners...but that's kind of hard when they don't use them themselves.

true! i'd wager that this guy just wants to keep a peaceful establishment where people can come in and relax and do what people do in a cafe, which usually doesn't include getting rowdy...whether you're a screaming child or an adult braying away on a cell phone. it's not like he's trying to turn his place into a library, but damn. when did people forget how to be considerate?

Heiress said:

"It takes a village to raise a child"
You have just given me an epiphany!!!
Peer pressure is an amazing way to get a child to do what they are supposed to, if a child can see that EVERYONE expects this same behaviour it must be so much easier to get them to conform, than if just mummy and daddy tell them to. My son's kindy teacher has no trouble getting 25 kids to do something because nobody wants to be the only one not doing it - same thing I can't get them to do at home.
Parents are now expected to raise their kids wholly by themselves and be totally responsible for the way they turn out - this nuclear family thing is relatively new, not like the good old days of extended family.

Mach said:

would you "bop" them in public?

charlottegelin said:

nope ... i would take the to the car for a slight bop only took me 1 time with my son when he was 2-3 acting out at a store .. from then out he understood that if he acted like a monster he may get treated as such



never had to with our youngest daughter... she has pretty much always been a mature 35 yr old

charlottegelin said:

Absolutely. As a result, my daughter is well-behaved in the US, but tends to get louder and more aggressive in her behavior, just to fit in. That's why I kind of like raising her in France. But if she were to go into the guy's restaurant, above, where folks were being quiet, she'd be nice and quiet. That's just how she is.

So looks like it's up to us to create environments, as much as we can, for our little ones while they are little and impressionable. They can deal with the tougher bits when they're older.

Let's see how those parents feel when one of their kids runs into someone carrying a tray-load of steaming hot coffee. You can bet your bottom dollar those politically correct whingers will change their tune in double-quick time then.

BananaCologne said:

good point