I just lost my cousin Allen
His HIV was nearly undetectable....but his liver took the toll from all the meds. he was 45.

Travela said:

oh trust me theres tears, u start to think about little moments u shared with these people in your life and u didnt think of it then cus it was so small, but when they arent here the smaller things are much more powerful than the things on a larger scale.

TheRealFiness said:

yep ...that's why today should be a reminder to make each and EVERY day count

Travela said:

aww man, see now i need a quick pick me up, i should go mix or something. i dunno

I'm fortunate to say I never lost someone close to this disease. I do know one girl, she's an adopted child from an African country, she was born with HIV. When she arrived here the doctors said she would not become older than 5. I don't know how she's doing right now, but at this time she must be about 14 years old and I presume she is still alive and hopefully kicking!

to all ya strong and beautiful people... with or without the virus...

Shorty said:

cborgman said:

Travela said:

aww, thank you honey. i'm really not that special though

i can't wait to meet you. you are coming to new york, yes?

TheRealFiness said:

isn't it beautiful?

Shorty said:

i am so sorry, that is so unfortunate to say the very least...

Travela said:

"no day but today"

MarieLouise said:

oh, that totally pushed me over the edge. now i am hard crying

cborgman said:

oh you are special ...and I will most definately be in New York

TheRealFiness said:

M

so, there's this song that is very uplifting, and in fact is was written about janet's friend that passed away from AIDS related causes, and is one of the most upbeat uplifting songs about losing a loved one i have ever heard.

with everyone we are talking about and missing and hurting for the loss of today, it seems very appropriate...


Together Again - Janet Jackson

There are times when I look above and beyond
There are times when I feel your love around me baby
I'll never forget ma' baby
(I'll never forget you)

There are times when I look above and beyond
There are times when I feel your love around me baby
I'll never forget ma baby
When I feel that I don't belong
Draw my strength
From the words when you said
Hey it's about you baby
Look deeper inside you baby

(Bridge)
Dream about us together again
When I want us together again baby
I know we'll be together again 'cause

(Chorus)
Everywhere I go
Every smile I see
I know you are there
Smilin' back at me
Dancin' in moonlight
I know you are free
Cuz' I can see your star
Shinin' down on me

(Together again ooh )
Good times we'll share again
(Together again ooh )
That makes me wanna dance
(Together again ooh)
Say it loud and proud
(Together again ohh)
All my loves for you

Always been a true angel to me
Now above
I can't wait for you to wrap your wings around me baby
Wrap them around me baby
Sometimes hear you whisperin'
No more pain
No worries will you ever see now baby
I'm so happy for ma baby

(Bridge)
I dream about us together again
When I want us together again baby
I know we'll be together again 'cause

(Chorus)
Everywhere I go
Every smile I see
I know you are there
Smilin' back at me
Dancin' in moonlight
I know you are free
Cuz' I can see your star
Shinin' down on me

(Together again ooh )
Good times we'll share again
(Together again ooh )
That makes me wanna dance
(Together again ooh)
Say it loud and proud
(Together again ohh)
All my loves for you

There are times when I look above and beyond
There are times when I feel you smile upon me baby
I'll never forget ma baby
What'll I give just to hold you close
As on earth
In heaven we will be together baby
Together again ma baby

(Chorus)
Everywhere I go
Every smile I see
I know you are there
Smilin' back at me
Dancin' in moonlight
I know you are free
Cuz' I can see your star
Shinin' down on me

(Chorus)
Everywhere I go
Every smile I see
I know you are there
Smilin' back at me
Dancin' in moonlight
I know you are free
Cuz' I can see your star
Shinin' down on me

cborgman said:

The first time I heard that song, I cried. Especially the part I put in bold.

M

cborgman said:

Oh, I love this song. Every time I hear it I cry and smile at the same time, thinking of my beloved godfather who had cerebral palsy. He passed away when I was 18 and pregnant with my first daughter. I sat and held his hand as he took his last breaths, a scared pregnant kid, but still thinking of my unborn baby and the saying "When God closes a door, he opens a window."

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

it always gets me too.

i did a two person show in austin about this woman and her son (me) and the entire show was letters between the two of them starting with him beginning puberty at summer camp and spanning through the decades to him being mid 40s and recovering from the loss of his lover to AIDS and meeting his new lover who is also positive... beautiful, lovely show... much funnier than it sounds too.

anyway, the director was choosing music appropriate to the things going on and the time periods that the show moves through, and i helped choose several of them. i played him "together again" and he thought it was too upbeat and chiper for the end, and ended up using a U2 song "beautiful day" instead for the first show, and accidently played "together again" in the second show, playing it softly under my closing monologue, and literally the beat kicked in just as i said my last and the lights went down, and the reaction from the audience was explosive. they went apeshit, and continued to applaud over it even after the actress playing my mother and i had left the stage and were undressing untill the director kicked us back onstage for another bow.

it really is a remarkable and perfect song.

FunkMistress said:

beautiful

i didn't know borgman you were another in the HIV family.

i have almost 6 years poz.

in college my best friend and i drove to see her dad in the hospital. i was the only person i she told that he was gay and HIV positive. she had gotten bitter with him because she was 10 years younger than her brothers and after she was 4 he left the family. and really didn't spend time with her. she felt like she was robbed of spending time with him.

they were close but you could always tell that there was something there that she was upset about.

one day she called me, about a year later. he had died and she was upset that she never got say she understood his reasons and forgave him. he was the first person i ever met to die of AIDS releated causes.

ehuffnsd said:

i just passed my 3 year anniversary in october. poz since i was 25, thanks to a boyfriend cheated on me repeatedly and brought it home. it was a big messy drama

cborgman said:

sorry about that.

i found out 2 days after my 19th bday. Mar 15 2000 we should stick together though
[Edited 12/1/05 12:16pm]

To the twenty plus souls that have crossed my path, Stymie loves and misses you.


I was already sad and this thread is fucking me up.

HIV disease is the worst kind of illness - one that carries many negative social implications along with the damage it does to one's body and soul. No other disease carries the stigma that HIV does, and that is one of the saddest things about it.

I've been fortunate not to lose anyone close to me due to the illness. But were it not for this terrible pandemic and the nature of my job, I would not have met some amazing people that have touched my life. Several of my close friends are HIV-positive, and my life is all the better for having them in it. I feel like I've become a better, less judgmental person through the friends and associates I've met through the work I do, and for that I feel blessed and very, very thankful.

RipHer2Shreds said:

When I was growing up I had a friend, John. Other friends of mine would pick on him for being feminine and shit like that, I would always protect him and tell the guys to fuck off. Then we drifted apart because he went to a boarding school and stuff, the years passed and then... one day at least 4 years ago, it might have been more, can't really remember. It was World AIDS day and I was watching MTV, they had segments with HIV positive people from different European countries and BOOM! there's John. I hadn't heard from or talked to him in years and I find out from the fucking TV he's positive. Fortunately he was still healthy back then, I have desperately tried to get in touch with him but to this day I've failed. We live in the same city but I can't find him Since I know that it's common for people to be abandoned when they exhibit the symptoms and get sick, I so want to find him so he'll at least have one friend all of his life, IF, I say IF, he gets sick. He's in my thoughts, I'm hoping he's still healthy and that he'll keep being healthy. I love him.

cborgman said:

Okay, now I'm teary eyed...



M

ehuffnsd said:

like toxic glue

Stymie said:

i'm sorry hon. it was meant to be uplifting...