Nikki23 said:

AsianBomb777 said:

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing in regards to 2the9s and all his other alteregos. He would make and excellent employee as long as there is no internet access, actually the reason this letter is written is to get him off, and stop harrassing the other members of this purely intellectual website we all know as www.prince.org.

His qualifications are as follows:
- purely imaginative (some may call it delusional, just depends on how you look at it)
- he will correct your English and quote stupid books


his references are as follows:
BKW - available at the nearest beer establishment
althom - available at the nearestlemon squishy stand
Lleena - available behind any genuis photoshop picture.


Thank you for your time.

Godspeed

ella731 said:

bkw said:

Maybe you didn't get the memo, but we try not to encourage ella around here. It's just bad for everyone.

can i have a letter of recommendation, please?

Dear Owner of the Paella House Restaurant,

Have I got a way to boost your paella sales! I know this gal, JasmineFire is her name, who cooks quite the "unique" paella. She makes seafood paella, chicken paella, all kinds of paella. She is not shy about making paella.

To boost your paella sales, all you have to do...is convince the competition to hire her.

Sincerely,
2the9s

2the9s said:

i'm making a three course meal tomorrow! no paella involved.

JasmineFire said:

What are you making?

2the9s said:

well, for the appetizer there's bread, brie, and grapes. for the main course it's chicken, and rice and peas. dessert is fudge brownies. yum.

JasmineFire said:

Damn, that sounds good.

2the9s said:

thank you!

it's for my prince friend. he's made me, like, three meals already so now it's my turn.

JasmineFire said:

Nice bottle of Pinot Grigio?

I need one that says I am the fastest peer ever.

2the9s said:

i don't know how to pick out wine so he bought some already.

Dear Army Corp of Engineers,

In light of your recent needs to stem the floodwaters in New Orleans, I am sure that you guys are looking for ways to improve the levee systems around the country.

With that in mind, I HIGHLY recommend to you, BucketofBouncyBalls. She will five you a run for your money the way she pees. She will put your whole organization to the test. Her bladder is hurricane-like. It's white water rapids. She is fast like a flash flood.

She goes, girl.

Sincerely,
2the9s (can pee faster)

2the9s said:

I will be printing tihs out and putting it up on my wall...and its going on myspace

BucketOfBouncyBalls said:

Be sure to change the word "five" to "give" if you do.

I didn't proofread.

2the9s said:

I expected better from you

2the9s said:

idiot

To the swing shift manager at KFC,

It has been brought to my attention that a certain JerseyKRS is in the running for a night time janitor position.
I hope that you take the time and hire this respectful employee. He will work all the long hours you need him too, and he will clean the fryers on his own time. Anf dont worry about those hard to reach poo stains in the mens restroom. He is an expert at skid marks.

Just dont leave him around the food, he will eat you out of house and home. And and please dont forget to take out a portion of his check, he owes me

Thanks for your time, please feel free to call his exwife for any other GLOWING recommendations.


Sincerely

ella

ella731 said:

jerseykrs said:

good comeback!

ella731 said:

This place rocks when you're not here. You get NO MONEY FROM ME. No bet has been won. And yeah, why don't YOU call Candie.....

PICK ME BABY!

Dear High Vatican Muckity Mucks,

I now solemnly offer recommendation of 9s as the next pope. While there is a currently a Pope in office, I do believe that 9s carries the qualifications for the holy office, due to his "holier than thou" attitude and penchant for wearing dresses. Plus, he likes pointy hats. While he is married, he is soon to be a father, further legitimizing calling him "father". This also shows his appreciation of furthering the human race and decrying birth control..9s shows promise in his writing of bland diatribes, and attraction to flashy shoes.
Also, he likes gold metallics, and this seems to be "in" with the big guy as well. Not to mention, Liberace is dead, so there is no competion for the flash and trash.

Yours, well, not really,
bluesbaby

PS. ORDAIN WOMEN NOW!

bluesbaby said:

bluesbaby said:

LMFAO!!!!!

Dear God,

It is with great pleasure and enthusiasm that I recommend to you bluesbaby for salvation. You won't find anyone on this green earth more in need of it.

It will take all of you considerable powers of forgiveness and kindness, I know that. And I'm sure you already have her marked down in your book for damnation, and I don't blame you. But if you could see past her considerable faults and make room for her in one of the outer vestibules of heaven, maybe it wouldn't be that bad after all.

Mainly because we don't want her down here.

Sincerly,
Satan9s