is it tacky to end a relationship before christmas. or should you be like a lot of employers and just terminate it after the holidays?

lol thats some cold blooded shit u know,puttin someone to the curb before the holidays.

Send them a fax:



This is to inform you that I will no longer be requiring your services and have decided to terminate your contract which is immediately in effect. Please ensure you leave my C.Ds and the house keys with my next door neighbour. I would like to thankyou for all your hard work and I wish you all the best in your future endeavours.


If you need a reference I will be happy to write you one.

Have a wonderful christmas.

sincerely

.....
[Edited 11/23/05 6:01am]

Do it before!!!

LleeLlee said:

do i have to pay you to use that lol?

REDFEATHERS said:

Agreed , going through Christmas knowing you are going to break up is just cold

LleeLlee said:

yeah I vote for before too, because then you don't have to fake it through Christmas. Yeah it's a cold-blooded thing, so do it like on the 1st of Dec, if it gets past the 15th then hang in there until new years (mandatory date night), and get a decent Christmas prestent for them too!

meltwithu said:

only the price of the fax

Before. If it's obvious that the relationship isn't working for you and has no future, there's no point in carrying on. Most people tend to be around family at Christmas time, which is the best place to be if you've just been dumped. Many people find January a depressing time at best, being dumped will only make it worse. It's still quite a while to Christmas so if you dump them now they might be over you by then, plus you'll have one less present to buy.

Pochacco said:

...also you can go to Christmas parties (either member) as a free agent, get blindingly drunk and cop off with anyone without feeling guilty..

..and use the money you were gonna spend on your exes present on flavoured nipple creams, condoms and new underwear!

People would always break up with me before my birthday or Christmas!
[Edited 11/23/05 6:11am]

well it would give her a reason to make a nice xmas cd

another lonely christmas--prince
what do the lonely do at christmas -- the emotions
every year, every christmas-- luther vandross
last christmas--wham

Kick them to the curb before Xmas. Then you don't have to spend any money on them.

i think the only way you could justify dumping someone before christmas is in knowing that by making them so sad and miserable, their friends and family will most likely try all that much harder to cheer and placate them, thus ensuring your dumped-to-be much better presents this christmas.

on the other hand, your karma will be severely fucked.

so, i don't know. plusses and minuses.

Depends on the stage of the relationship...

If it's serious, do it before the holidays. Then you avoid the family gatherings & annoying Grandma questions like, "when y'all gettin' married?" all the while KNOWING you're about to drop they ass. Plus you won't have to buy gifts... Holy fuck, Spats & I agree on something




If it's brand new/casual, wait. Get them something small, hope for something big. Drop them either before New Years so you can go out w/ friends, or immediately after the New Years kiss @ 12:01am

I just did, last wednesday. It's always a tough thing to do
but if you have to put it off and feel miserable yourself I
say just break up the moment you know for sure.

It's shitty but wouldn't you just feel horrible if you had
to sit through christmas and be all touchy, lovey when you
didn't care anymore, or where already seeing someone else?

I know that some people have no problem with that, but I'd
say honesty is the best policy.

I think if you've realised that you want to end it, you have to do it sooner rather than later. It's really unfair on the other person to keep a relationship going when you've already made a decision to end it, even if you're trying to do it for the right reasons.

x

No time is a good time. I think honesty is the best policy.

If you are going to go ahead with it, I think sooner is better than later.

onenitealone said:

the voice of reason

Now, now, do it now. Do not wait. Going through the motions is dishonest. I'd be pissed at someone for stringing me along even further. And lose quite a bit of respect for them.

Natisse said:

Well, I wouldn't go that far. But cheers, though.

If only my own life was as easy to sort out! Distance/hindsight can be a good thing.
[Edited 11/23/05 7:46am]

CarrieMpls said:

Same here.

LleeLlee said:

Not to mention, no matter what you do or don't do, the person initiating a breakup will be seen as a monumental asshole anyway, so just do the deed and enjoy your new-found social status!

Spats said:

I'm getting a lot of warmth from this thread....

This is just sad both ways.

On the one hand, you'll save money, but if this person is serious about you, you'll break their heart during the holidays. That is some, in certain cases, some potentially suicidal shit.

On the other hand, you'll lead them to believe that Christmas with you is wonderful and everything is right in the world and love is the answer. If you dump them, they'll have a potentially suicidal New Year's.

Sad both ways.

I would recommend that your one and only gift to them be a gift-wrapped box with only a note inside, reading "Welcome to Dumpsville, population: You.". To be opened on Xmas morning, of course.

gemini13 said:

But you can't hold yourself responsible if someone becomes suicidal because you've dumped them. That is not a normal or expected response to being dumped, so if that's how they react they've got other issues to deal with. Aside from that, continuing a relationship with someone solely because you're afraid how they'll react if you dump them is not a good idea, because ultimately you are going to have to do it, so to delay it is just going to cause grief all round.

AsylumUtopia said:

I didn't say it was the person's fault, I was stating how sad both situations are. No one likes to be dumped, especially during the holidays. Maybe I shouldn't have used the word suicidal, it was not meant to be taken literally.
[Edited 11/23/05 8:59am]

AsylumUtopia said:

very well said!

LleeLlee said:

Ditto.