What do you mean, "IF" my day was a porno?

My life lately resembles a 70's ponr movie; lotsa guys with moustaches.

STU!

charlottegelin said:

sweet dreams about porn! I woke up with a morning-wood just 2 hours ago.....

Well, yesterday i played football in the park with 5 of my mates.



So.....


we were playing football, when 5 girls came over and told us they were thirsty and needed a drink

"where do u live? one of them asked us

"nice one, they're winning 3-2 now, go ask someone else, we're trying to play football here"

The day after my arrival to Vancouver two years ago, I went down to the beach to relax. It was a fantastic warm day with sunshine and birds chirping. I settled down next to some big rocks and closed my eyes. A few minutes later I heard someone saying "hey" so I opened them again. In front of me were two gorgeous women in their mid thirties and they were both totally naked. One of them said "hello angel man, why don't you come with us?".

Then they walked off and sat down about twenty metres away in a more secluded area. They started waving at me, wanting me to come over.

I picked up my things and left.

To this day I still wonder if I did the right thing or not. To "hang out" with them definitely would have been an interesting way to start my stay in Vancouver (and it sure was a nice Canadian welcome!), but at the same time I thought they seemed a bit flaky and if they wanted to pick me up just like that they'd probably done that with all kinds of strangers with who-knows-what kind of diseases... It just didn't feel fresh and I wasn't quite in the mood for it. Then again, who knows...

retina said:

awww... you should have gone with them!

HamsterHuey said:

abierman said:

TOO!! MUCH!! INFORMATION!!

MartyMcFly said:

Morning Wood sounds like a western on HBO.


M

retina said:

awww... you should have gone with them!

CarrieMpls said:

I knew it!



.

CarrieMpls said:

I knew it!



.

retina said:

well at least you still have your wallet

This thread certainly worked prophetic to my life...

Got home from work. All dirty from newspapers and the dust that seems to fly around in our store. Jump underneath the shower.
I got a routine. First wash hair. Then rinse hair out.

Then... believe it or not, the doorbell rings... I think, fuck it. So I ignore it. Then the doorbell rings a second time...

I go, fuuuuuck. So I jump outa the shower, throw a towel around my waist, then kinda try to run through the hall, then the hallway. The hallway is a four metres long small hallway running from hall to front door. Full lights are on, just as I see a stranger peek through the window, I slip... fall backwards unceremoniously, lose my towel...



So I get up, wrap the towel around me again, with a stranger STILL watching me. I should have reminded Zelaira, right then and right there.
I open the door, really irritated. Say; "As you can see this is really not the right time, WHAT?!"

Turns out he is a delivery man, and he's got a delivery. He hands it to me through the door.

And he says, "Are you okay? That was quite a fall." And I go; , am a bit shaken, of course, and say; "I think I hurt my shoulder."

I was still hiding behind the door, dunoo why, cuz he saw me naked already. Then he pushes open the door slightly and says, "lemme look at that."

Before I know it, he steps in, closes the door behind him and gently gets around me to look at my shoulder. I go; but then he touches my shoulder...



I SO can't share the follow up on that, due to x-rated content, but it's true; the postman always rings twice.

When he left, like only 25 minutes after he walked into my house, I kind of realised I forgot to ask for his name. But that doesn't matter much. He is coming over again tomorrow.

Natisse said:

No one that wore the OMG expression better than me when he touched my shoulder. In that specific way.

He was Maroccan, btw. Around 26. Smaller than I am. GREAT naughty smile. Very good with his hands.

Natisse said:

No one that wore the OMG expression better than me when he touched my shoulder. In that specific way.

He was Maroccan, btw. Around 26. Smaller than I am. GREAT naughty smile. Very good with his hands.

This thread certainly worked prophetic to my life...

Got home from work. All dirty from newspapers and the dust that seems to fly around in our store. Jump underneath the shower.
I got a routine. First wash hair. Then rinse hair out.

Then... believe it or not, the doorbell rings... I think, fuck it. So I ignore it. Then the doorbell rings a second time...

I go, fuuuuuck. So I jump outa the shower, throw a towel around my waist, then kinda try to run through the hall, then the hallway. The hallway is a four metres long small hallway running from hall to front door. Full lights are on, just as I see a stranger peek through the window, I slip... fall backwards unceremoniously, lose my towel...



So I get up, wrap the towel around me again, with a stranger STILL watching me. I should have reminded Zelaira, right then and right there.
I open the door, really irritated. Say; "As you can see this is really not the right time, WHAT?!"

Turns out he is a delivery man, and he's got a delivery. He hands it to me through the door.

And he says, "Are you okay? That was quite a fall." And I go; , am a bit shaken, of course, and say; "I think I hurt my shoulder."

I was still hiding behind the door, dunoo why, cuz he saw me naked already. Then he pushes open the door slightly and says, "lemme look at that."

Before I know it, he steps in, closes the door behind him and gently gets around me to look at my shoulder. I go; but then he touches my shoulder...



I SO can't share the follow up on that, due to x-rated content, but it's true; the postman always rings twice.

When he left, like only 25 minutes after he walked into my house, I kind of realised I forgot to ask for his name. But that doesn't matter much. He is coming over again tomorrow.
[Edited 11/23/05 9:34am]

This thread certainly worked prophetic to my life...

Got home from work. All dirty from newspapers and the dust that seems to fly around in our store. Jump underneath the shower.
I got a routine. First wash hair. Then rinse hair out.

Then... believe it or not, the doorbell rings... I think, fuck it. So I ignore it. Then the doorbell rings a second time...

I go, fuuuuuck. So I jump outa the shower, throw a towel around my waist, then kinda try to run through the hall, then the hallway. The hallway is a four metres long small hallway running from hall to front door. Full lights are on, just as I see a stranger peek through the window, I slip... fall backwards unceremoniously, lose my towel...



So I get up, wrap the towel around me again, with a stranger STILL watching me. I should have reminded Zelaira, right then and right there.
I open the door, really irritated. Say; "As you can see this is really not the right time, WHAT?!"

Turns out he is a delivery man, and he's got a delivery. He hands it to me through the door.

And he says, "Are you okay? That was quite a fall." And I go; , am a bit shaken, of course, and say; "I think I hurt my shoulder."

I was still hiding behind the door, dunoo why, cuz he saw me naked already. Then he pushes open the door slightly and says, "lemme look at that."

Before I know it, he steps in, closes the door behind him and gently gets around me to look at my shoulder. I go; but then he touches my shoulder...



I SO can't share the follow up on that, due to x-rated content, but it's true; the postman always rings twice.

When he left, like only 25 minutes after he walked into my house, I kind of realised I forgot to ask for his name. But that doesn't matter much. He is coming over again tomorrow.
[Edited 11/23/05 9:34am]

HamsterHuey said:

I was half expecting your friend Jenna Jameson to walk in half way through the story and join in the fun... that would've made this story even more unbelievable...

CarrieMpls said:

I knew it!



.

I planted my ass down on my firm work chair and rapped my hands around my iced grande decaf soy latte.