Cause both of mine are VERY ILL and I NEVER had to THINk about this SHIT BEFORE. It SCARES ME to THINK ONE DAY BOTH WILL B Gone. Can You HANDLE DEATH?

i've handled the death of my mom okay, considering the age/circumstances i was in when she passed...as for my dad, it'd be a bit harder.

Well we really don't have much of a choice do we?

CarrieLee said:

that's exactly what popped into my head when i saw the thread title, but still...

get your butt offline and go spend time with them while you can

XxAxX said:

I cannot imagine...

My mom is on a cruise in the Mexican Riviera... She is 83, and this is her first cruise.

Can't wait to see her.

Just take it one day at a time. Try to spend as much time as you can with them but don't feel guilty when you can't. Make time for yourself also though.

I was really close to my mother. She's been gone for 11 years and I still miss her.


M

well, my dad passed away at 1:15 on my 18th birthday ... so, now every year its marked on my birthday. you know, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you... now, how long has dad been gone ???? i really, really wish they would stop doing that

my father and i didnt get along real well when he was here, so i handled it as best i could at the time. its gotten a lot harder since im getting older and have become a parent myself - i wish he was here to talk to now.....

now, my mother - i dont even want to go there !!!!! i dont know how i will ever deal with that loss. she is my best friend, the first person i call when anything goes on in my life, and the one person i know will always be there for me.... being without her is a thought i cant even begin to understand.

comin' back to this.

I've gone through a bit of this over the last few years. My father had a heart attack a couple years ago. It put me in shock, really. I wasn't sure how to handle it. I don't think I really let it affect me in any way. We have a sorta weird relationship.

As I've posted about here before, my mother had cancer this year. She is now cancer free, but it was one of the hardest things I think I've had to go through in recent memory.

CarrieMpls said:

Congrats to mum, sweety!!!!!


M

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

Thanks.

It's been 7 years since my dad has been gone, and I'm still not over it. How could I be? It's just not possible. I admit that I cry when I watch movies or shows and the father passes away.

Zelaira said:

Death is a very natural part of life. Sickness is often harder on lovedones then the death. How to handle sickness is harder to answer then how to handle death.

You need to realize a lovedones death is a life changing event. You will change, and in that change is good. The only way to get through it is day by day. Realize we all die, and it's not a bad thing. It's natural. Seasons don't fear the reaper, nor to the wind, sun or the rain.

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

Ditto, go spend as much time with them as you can and look at death as a gateway out of this shithole. Well, i do. It helps.

AzurePanther said:

I am far from the norm when it comes to thinking, among other things, and the way people handle it.

A good example is realizing, when people die, the people are not crying for the dead, they are crying for being left here alive. This world, isn't all that glitters, when it comes to consciousness, it's a rock where much pain is put on to many people. Death in that case is the hand of a warm lover pulling you away from a place you didn't want to be.

This isn't to say we should all make purple kool-aid and drink. Death is like the ending of the story where killing one's self is like closing a book before getting to the good parts.

We are born to die. We live to meet death. Live well so that you may die well too.

everyone handles it differently... I lost my Mum 7 years ago she had a brain tumour and there are times when it's still hard. I've been very much up and down emotionally lately and I truly think some (a little, not much - just to clarfiy) has to do with me having not dealt with it properly

I will deal with it in my own time though and my own way - same as anyone who has lost a parent

the other thing I REALLY REALLY agree with is go and spend time with them while you can!! oh my god DO THAT! if you're lucky enough to have your parents around still you are very lucky

I feel I need point out something. Several people have told you to spend much time with them. I don't really think they mean time. The point I think they mean to say is "quality time". This is only some thing that has lost someone can see after the fact. If you don't get in quality time, you might have a small empty hole in your soul for the rest of your life. You need to spend as much time as to get out anything you wanted to say or talk about. Spend time to ask them about stories. Get to know them as people rather then what they are too you. In this way you will after the fact have enough peace of mind to get a smooth closure to their deaths in your life. If they are dying, soon they will be dead, and so you should be free to say what ever you want. It is far better to have said too much then not enough. However, only you know what and how much is enough.