Spats said:

Wrong.

Fauxie said:

50 age you mean?? I don't know yet! one thing I know, your more growing up.

ConRoz said:

Thank you, and I'm only 24.

Fauxie said:

Ooo, you will change a lot about idea's, taste! etc. ha,ha!

Fauxie said:

You make some very valid points about commitment.
So much lately, people go through their lives expecting that gratification is one of the highest calling. Sometimes, it's not about what is most gratifying, but what is most noble. If people put as much work into making something happen as they did in pursuing impulse, their lives would reach much more balance and they'd be much happier. However, if you ever leave her,

Spats said:

You are right to some degree, marriage is not needed by some. However, there are those who need that reassurance that someone will be there for all time. To bring a stability to there relationship that satifies there feeling that this person is the one for them.
Being together in marriage is very different for some people than being just a social couple. Having a social relationship connection to someone always leaves an easy door open for one or the other to leave, and I would certainly not think about spending £200,000.00 on a house if I didn't think this person was willing to work with me on the house payments for the next 25 years.
We don't NEED marriage to expirience everything a relationship has to offer, but it can help to reinforce the sense of bonding between two people.
All relationships are different, and require different approaches. But people need to think much harder and deeper before they consider marriage. This is a problem in todays world, an not so much the marriage itself.
It also depends on how you view love. Romantic love, or a more lasting deeper love. Romantic love comes and goes from relationships, and a realisation that the chocolate box kinda love is not what makes a marriage is a good place to start when deciding if a person is right for you or not.

ConRoz said:

I'm sure I will. One thing that won't change is my integrity. Oh, how carefree and wonderfully self-absorbed my life might be were I able to commit to things and then drop them with every whimsical change of my character. A charmed and fulfilling life that would be and no mistake. Goodness, my delusions are now painfully evident and I wish the ground would swallow me up and spare me from my unbearable humiliation.

Imago777 said:

Well yes, we could be nihilistic and say 'what does any of it matter ultimately?' in reference to doing what is noble, as opposed to just trying to be happy in this life. First of all, I take issue with the benefit and indeed possibility of constantly trying to turn towards the good rather than the bad in order to find happiness as the primary goal in life. If I, for the sake of argument, accept that it may be possible to be happy in this manner, I would then question whether this impulsive method of living could be maintained without the slightest pang that perhaps there really was something more important than being happy, that supercedes our own personal gratification. Perhaps there has been a degree of overestimation on my part in regards to the depth of thinking of people in general. From my experience, I've found that happiness is the more short-lived, extravagant cousin of contentedness. Still, who am I to blame people who put their own personal happiness and gratification above all else? All I'd say is that instinctively it doesn't sit right with me.

Fauxie said:

The most important thing is in life if your not happy about a situation, try 2 step out of the cirkel, it's hard because we are use 2 it, 2 stay in it, but at the end we have learned about it if we are stepped out, and you are become more positive in life, your thoughts, your thinking way. If you are staying in a negative situation all the time, you don't step out of it, your thinking way is also become negative. We want all a happy life! Never wait for your partner, do something by yourself 2 change the situation, never pointing. You did the choose in your life.

Imago777 said:

Good story!
I'm off line now! must cook!
Happy Birthday 25November! I know I will forget, because I'm not often on the org

ConRoz said:

Very good. Now how about applying that hard work, learning and positivity before you leave the relationship?

FIN

Fauxie said:

Ha,ha! after I left 3 bad long relationships! and one was a little bit oke, but wasn't satisfied enough, was boring, the other 2 were 2 dominant, and they didn't let me free.
[Edited 11/15/05 8:31am]

But I've learned a lot! became more positive! always try 2 cut out the positive things in a bad situation! and take it with you forever!

ConRoz said:

Well that's the main thing, I guess, to remain positive in all situations.

I hope your food's not burning.

I am right. Everything you can do married , you can as a regular couple. Single people are not missing anything by not getting married. And if there are people that get married because they want that reassurance that someone will always be there for them then we get are getting back to needy and insecure people and you wouldn't want to get involved with someone like that anyway. See a therapist instead.

You are an idiot

Spats said:

how do you know? have you been married before? maybe there's some super-secret benefits us married folks just don't tell you young-uns about!

i'll tell you after the weekend

Spats said:

You can't get marriage guidance j/k

you hold on and wait...and wait...with prince in mind
[Edited 11/15/05 17:34pm]

I meant that these insecure people should see a therapist for their insecurity instead of getting married. I have friends who are married so i know what goes on.

Spats said:

It's refreshing to find someone who forms their strongly-held opinions based on such thorough research.

Fauxie said:

Ocean said:

Going by what's happening to married people you know is good research. It's better than being dumb enough to get married and then finding out. Saves a lot of time and headache.

Spats said:

yes, indeed, it would save her a lot of that!

With my friends it appears that the women just become annoying beyond belief after they get married. The nagging goes into overdrive, they become more possesive, they let themselves go, and other stuff. I have never seen evidence that people are better off married than unmarried.

Look at the divorce rate people. Marriage will not solve your insecurity problems.

jerseykrs said:

Are you ignored alot?

Spats said:

Does wanting some security in your life always make you an insecure person. Wanting a stable framework for your life mean that you are insecure and in need of therapy. Or even wanting some assurance of commitment warrant the need to visit a specialist.
Is insecurity always the reason that people get married. Would the world be a better place if marriage did not exist. Would society improve if marriage was removed.

AdamB said:

BINGO!