...but it was more of a silent protest.

BinaryJustin said:

I think next time you should have a dirty protest!

My very first snip.

My very first snip.

fathermcmeekle said:

Somebody did lay a turd on the men's washroom floor once. Whomever did it must have picked it up and placed it there, as otherwise they would have been caught squatting, no doubt. Half of our workforce are temps and they all look capable of such things.

My very first snip.

Half of our workforce are temps and they all look capable of such things.

BinaryJustin said:

Admit it, it was you!

I'm a computer instructor, and one of the things I'd LOVE to say at work is this:

"No, you dumb motherfucker, when I said 'take the mouse and point at the Internet icon,' I did not in fact mean 'take the mouse and physically stick it on the motherfucking screen.' How in the fuck do you survive on a daily basis without putting your eye out, you goddamn cretin?"

...instead of smiling sweetly and gently correcting the individual with supportive, non-judgmental language.

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a damn word you're saying.
10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
24. Do I look like a people person?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.
39. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
40. Oh I get it... like humor... but different.

BinaryJustin said:

I never get snipped!
What am I doing wrong?

Wait...I shouldn't have said these to people at work?

I'm a computer instructor, and one of the things I'd LOVE to say at work is this:

"No, you dumb motherfucker, when I said 'take the mouse and point at the Internet icon,' I did not in fact mean 'take the mouse and physically stick it on the motherfucking screen.' How in the fuck do you survive on a daily basis without putting your eye out, you goddamn cretin?"

...instead of smiling sweetly and gently correcting the individual with supportive, non-judgmental language.