why is it that EVERY TIME i get up from my desk to go get a can of soda or a bag of chips, the vending machine lady is ALWAYS there filling up the machine, and i have to WAIT for her to get done stocking the machines?

and WHY does it take her HOURS to do it?

and WHY, oh god WHY, is there never anything GOOD in the snack machine after she takes hours to painstakingly restock every single little slot in the machine??? nobody wants white chedder cheese-its, lady! figure it out!

but seriously - it doesn't matter what time of day it is - whenever i get peckish for a snack, i can ALWAYS depend on her being there when i want to use the vending machines. since i'm too lazy to go to another floor, i've just decided that it's god's way of telling my lard ass i don't need a snack.

i wish i could hire her to come to my apartment at night and root around in my fridge every time i wanted to make some nachos.

once again, nobody has the capacity to understand the sheer vertigo-inducing MAGNITUDE of my struggles.

Anxiety said:

clearly this is a job for

I not only understand, but your post gave me an irrational craving for a Swiss Cake Roll

CHIC0 said:

I think she is Anx's only hope!

Anxiety said:

Dear "Anxiety":

It is quite obvious this woman has a crush on you and is waiting around all day for you to head to the vending machine. She is shy and this is her way of trying to intiate conversation. Next time you're there, why don't you try saying, "Boy, I hate white chedder cheese-its!". I am predicting she will respond, "Me, too! How 'bout a little in-'n'-out in the boiler room?".

You can thank me in Ho Hos,
A.

EskomoKisses said:

oh MAN, i love those. little debbies, right? i used to peel off the chocolate bark, eat it, then unroll the cake part, lick off the icing, then dunk the remainder of it in milk. it was a FEAST, i tell you.

Ace said:

i refuse to reduce myself to rough trade just for the pleasure of snagging a package of chuckles.

of course, if the vending machine lady had nice calves and resembled giovanni ribisi, perhaps bargains could be struck.

Anxiety said:

Yup...Little Debbie, we have a box in the freezer @ home (they are so yummy frozen!!) I eat them in layers too

EskomoKisses said:

and that's how i do nutty bars too, only they aren't quite as involved.

Anxiety said:

I see a trip to the grocery store's junk food aisle in my future. . .

EskomoKisses said:

i've done REALLY WELL with keeping little debbie out of my apartment. there were always at least two boxes of the stuff in the kitchen when i was growing up. i try to keep snack food out of my apartment, though it doesn't really do a lot of good...i got so desperate last night, i wound up eating a stale tortilla dipped in sour cream.

Anxiety said:

I was not aware there was a snack called a "Little Debbie". The only place I've ever heard this phrase before was in Southern Culture on the Skids' "Walk Like a Camel" (not that this is relevant to the conversation - I just thought this thread could use an obscure '90s band reference).

Ace said:

Anxiety said:

When my mother-in-law used to go grocery shopping I swear the only thing she bought was fruit snacks and little debbie. She would dump them all in a big bag on the back of the pantry door She's not exactly the cooking type. . .

EskomoKisses said:

does she make deliveries?

U know, I cant stand it when u wanna go to a vending machine for one item like a pack of gum or mints or something and theres someone there who wants to go grocery shopping at the machine. The take forever trying to figure out what they want. Then, they're buying chips and candy bars and licorice and cup cakes.. Im like dayum, you're gonna have a heart attack before u get back to your class.

Bluff the bitch, make like you are going to get a snack and rise from your desk (this will initiate her trolley of snacks into motion) walk to the office door (she will be unlocking the vending machine by now), then sit the fuck back down. Ha ha, she will be filling the machine, thinking you are on the way.

Then go get your snack in 22 minutes.

The next time her ESP kicks in she might think twice about making her way to the vending machine, and the spell will henceforth be broken.

PREDOMINANT said:

see, that would work if it only took her 22 minutes to fill the damn machine.

Anxiety said:

I'm here for you. I can help explian this phenomenon to you in order to shed light and help you cope with this problem that seems to be timingly out of your control.

Somehow your appitite schedule has interdimentionaly entertwined with her schedule of filling the snacks. The universe is actually working for you and tring to fullfil your hunger. The problem lies with the universal clock; it's has been set about 20 minutes too fast. You need to mark the schedule of which she is supposed to appear...mark the day as well. On this day and time you should eat 20 minutes later than usual...or bring a snack to peck on when the time strikes.

Anxiety said:

We have trouble keeping a box of those dang things for more than 3 days.

Ya know what is DAMN GREAT? GRANDMAS COOKIES..DAMN,The PEANUT BUTTER ONES are FANTASTIC. And those OATMEAL CREAM LITTLE DEBBIES are GREAT...

Zelaira said:

oatmeal cream little debbies are CRACK.

so is STAR CRUNCH.

Anxiety said:

My latest fave:


Why have I not seen these before



edit
[Edited 11/4/05 10:50am]

I'm bad with Cakes and Bread. I have bought like 3 packages of Snake Cakes and 2 loafs of Bread. Mallomars,Wonkas, Krispy Creams and Coffee Cakes. I don't eat but Cakes and Bread Lately. LOl.

Zelaira said:

You're 1 of those vending machine shoppers, arent u?!

EskomoKisses said:

WITH CHOCOLATE SYRUP?!?


oh. my. god.

THESE