i am about to move into a rented flat by myself after my long term relationship has now collapsed for good leaving behind my wee boy and i am scared i am making a huge mistake. i have thought about staying for the sake of my wee boy and just "put-up" with not really being happy with my partner for the next couple of years but i just dont think that is the right thing to do.....i just hope things will be ok, money wise i am a total mess, in fact everything is a total mess but i suppose it can only get better.....anybody else had experience of leaving a long term relationship? how did it go for you?
[Edited 11/3/05 3:47am]
[Edited 11/3/05 13:48pm]
[Edited 11/3/05 14:04pm]


UPDATE: well here i am ,4 months after leaving my relationship and i must admit, i am still in a mess and it is harder than i ever imagined it would be...
i miss my wee boy boy so much although i still see him most days for a wee while and my ex is still hurting badly which isnt nice too see...i sometimes think it would make things easier if me and her had NO contact whatsoever, i try and help her out with certain things but maybe i am making the split up worse.....i dont know, i dont love her anymore but i care enough for her to want to help her but maybe i do need to turn my back on her to allow her to move on with her life.
[Edited 3/6/06 1:28am]

I am sure you will cope. Try to be positive, make the most of any time your have with ya wee man.

Think of it as a new chapter, time starts now!

I think you have to rely on destiny to make up your mind for you. Staying in a loveless relationship is not the way to go, for the sake of your boy. It might hurt him if his parnets break up, but in my own personal opinion (from what Ive seen, thats all) Itll screw him over more growing up with the only relationship pattern he has to copy being an unhappy one. He needs to see the people he respects happy, whether it be together or with someone else.

As far as everything else, eg money, it CAN only get better, you have to be positive. Predominants right, its a new chapter. Look at the good things that can come out of this, not what youre losing.

Feel better!

thanks for the advice, pre and susannah, sorry i never got to talk to u and zaara much when u where at the party, i was with my brother and a friend who didnt know anybody there and i didnt want be ignorant to them(and i was blinded by davehead's outfit ), we will have a good chinwag at the next party, take care.

wtf is a wee-man?



really man, you need to get out, go to bars, meet people, get drunk, score chicks and drag them home.....get a life again! She wasn't right for you, maybe you weren't right for her.....deal with it! Don't stand still!

I was with my ex for about 6 years, we were engaged and had a house/mortgage together for 3 years and she ended it out the blue 2 years ago. I kept the house and had to pay her off and it got a bit messy.

I was obviously gutted as I never really saw it coming. I went through different stages. I tried to keep busy or go out on the piss a lot as I didnt want to be home alone. I tried to get every bird I met back to my new bachelor pad but got a million knock backs as I just looked desparate!

Then I got a bit used to it and didnt mind being in on my own doing things that I wouldnt normally get the chance if I were with someone. ie watching every match on the telly, watching as much porn as I wanted in the living room!

But you do just eventually adjust in every way, money wise included, it obviously takes time tho. But it definetley made me a stronger person.

Its a bit more complicated with you having a child so I hope it pans out for you mate

cheers pal

Nae probs Bob! yeah sorry I didnt talk to you much either, when we did talk i was pretty steaming so sorry about that!

Hope everything works out for you, will def see you at the next party!

You'll be fine, it's always scary in the beginning but ultimately it's the best decision you could make. Good luck!

CarrieLee said:

i so hope you are right.....time will tell

I am sorry BlackBob.

Take care of yourself, and the wee one.

blackbob said:

i've been through it and i am so much happier. trust me its worth it. you'll just continue to be unhappy. carrielee is right

honey you willbw fine, i ended my marriage after nearly ten years,there was nothing particularly wrong with it but then again nothing was particularly good about it, i was terrified when i left,my business relied heavily on my inlaws help and that was all gone,i had to sell the dream house my husband and i had worked so hard for and loved so much and now i'm in the middle of a divorce,there is heartache around every corner still,i prepared myself for a life being a single workaholic verging on alcoholic never ever going to fall in love again never going to trust a man again,i didn't think i was good enough for anyone,but hey!here i am now totaly independant,business flourishing thanks only to my hard work,spending time with my mother who i neglected terribly when married,and i have an amazing boyfriend who puts up with all my emotional crap and who is more than happy to listen prince every single day!
what i'm saying rob is that everything has a way of working out in the end,life is a constant rollercoaster,nothing lasts forever good or bad,just go with the flow.you are gorgeous inside and out (i know for sure ) and you will be happy again because people like you deserve to be.
xx

thanks cammille,