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BAD/GOOD COMPANY Do you surround yourself with people who love and care about you or do you have a habit of surrounding yourself with people who don't care? | |
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I used to be in the latter category, but I'm happy to say that I've turned it around in later years. | |
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everybody loves me.....it's a drag to love them all back! | |
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now that i'm older, i've become much better at surrounding myself with people who love me. | |
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i used to have as many people around me who were really caring people as i did people who seemed to only like being around me so they'd have someone to blather on at for hours on end. i finally got old and tired enough to weed the latter category out, and now i have more time and energy to spend on the good folks...not that i think the people i weeded out were "bad", but they were bad for me to be around. | |
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Ex-Moderator | I have a wonderful group of friends, but I, too, am trying to learn Anxy's habit of weeding out the folks who maybe aren't as positive for me as they should be. But see, when I think about that, I worry that maybe I'M the bad person someone would want to weed out. And then I feel badly. So it doesn't quite work from there.
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I'm not really a people person either way..... | |
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People that love me or at least like me .....the ones that don't/or I don't in return are just aquaintances (or family ) | |
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I like to surround myself with my possie. They're on my payroll, so they should have my interests at heart.
Don't they look like nice guys! . [Edited 11/2/05 21:04pm] | |
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well it's hard to find good friends now days. I've never been one to hang with a posse or such, i've always been independent and done my own thing, hang with people here or there, never a regular gig....
People just aren't trustworthy, or maybe i just don't trust any and everybody...I wish I could be more sociable, but i'm not, and never have been, and when I have tried, i've been disappointed in the end. I'm a loyal person, and i rarely meet people who as dependable and loyal like i am, therefore, i let them go, cut them off...and move on and focus on me.... I will forever love and miss you...my sweet Prince. | |
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I'm a loner at heart so I've always had trust worthy people in my circle, I can spot the snakes a mile away. | |
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althom said: I like to surround myself with my possie. They're on my payroll, so they should have my interests at heart.
Don't they look like nice guys! . [Edited 11/2/05 21:04pm] I think that's supposed to be "Posse"..."Possie" is a quaint, lemon-flavored drink, I believe... | |
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CarrieMpls said: I have a wonderful group of friends, but I, too, am trying to learn Anxy's habit of weeding out the folks who maybe aren't as positive for me as they should be. But see, when I think about that, I worry that maybe I'M the bad person someone would want to weed out. And then I feel badly. So it doesn't quite work from there.
Who would weed YOU out????? You freakin rock. You are a genuine article! | |
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Anxiety said: i used to have as many people around me who were really caring people as i did people who seemed to only like being around me so they'd have someone to blather on at for hours on end. i finally got old and tired enough to weed the latter category out, and now i have more time and energy to spend on the good folks...not that i think the people i weeded out were "bad", but they were bad for me to be around.
Weeding out was always a crime in my personality. I have recently been forced to review that and came to understand that it needs be... I have found a few in my midst who for reasons personal to them behaved in ways that were hurtful to me. Reaching at things in my path to make a point. Maybe for self validation? Who knows! That I understand what the motive is, is unimportant. One to a path. I have to stay on mine..... I often stop on mine and sit and reflect on the whys of their choices. That just leaves me locked in pains embrace far to long. I have pondered this to wits end recently. Final conclusion? Get back on my path and trudge on until I reach my natural gait again. I don't owe them an explanation. This is my life..... | |
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SIDE BAR: I have noted that whenever I am out of my gait and or overly self conscious .... Which is NOT a natural state for me to be in occurs, it is because I am where I don't belong or have deviated from my course. | |
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I don't really surround myself with too many people...more of a loner, I guess. But the few people I do let into my life mean the world to me and effect my heart and soul beautifully...I trust them. I'd love to assume I do with them as well... | |
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Alwayz good and alwayz genuine- i don't get to catchup with most of my friendz (except my closer friendz at uni) not because of anything else but da fact dat i'm afraid of losing focus on my studies. But when i get to catch up with all my other close friendz itz alwayz a fan-friggin-tageous time i have!! No matter what we get up to and where we go cause we just enjoy hangin out! Every holiday i get, i try and take advantage of it- i love the freedom of being able to accept any and every invitation to go wherever at anytime, be it with my friendz or cousinz!! Now that i have my car this summer i can organize things too perhaps No hablo espanol,no!
Pero hablo ingles..ssii muy muy bien... "Come into my world..." Missy Quote of da Month: "yeah, sure, that's cool...wait WHAT?! " | |
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thanks for your thoughts guys | |
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I'm getting better @ limiting time w/ toxic friends (there's really only one left, LOL)... | |
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I ask the question I think because someone made the observation that I care too much about people who don't seem to care about me back... I'm not sure whether they're right. I know I have people close to me who I know without a doubt do care very much - but the more time goes on the more I realise how few and far between those people really are and that includes some family
I've procrastinated before and made myself a promise that I wouldn't associate with anyone who didn't truly want to be associated with me back and I should have stuck to that. it's all a learning experience and it never stops... | |
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Natisse said: I ask the question I think because someone made the observation that I care too much about people who don't seem to care about me back... I'm not sure whether they're right. I know I have people close to me who I know without a doubt do care very much - but the more time goes on the more I realise how few and far between those people really are and that includes some family
I've procrastinated before and made myself a promise that I wouldn't associate with anyone who didn't truly want to be associated with me back and I should have stuck to that. it's all a learning experience and it never stops... I recently had a falling out w/ a friend that made me question EVERYTHING about myself... Am I too bitchy? Too controlling? Do I cut people off too quickly? Am I mean? Selfish? Wouldn't you know it - the universe brings me a person who attempts to bleed me dry of everything I have. My kindness, my giving nature, my time, my patience, my ASS And b/c I was so turned around by the previous falling out I went against my better judgement & gave the new person TOO MUCH benefit of the doubt. Tried to hold out for the good person in him to prevail, but it never did Bottom line - trust your gut. Shit will always happen that gets you twisted & second guessing yourself. People can have you on one end of the spectrum one year, the other end the next. BUT if you stay true to yourself you won't go too wrong. If you know in your heart that people aren't treating you right start to create distance - you've gotta do what's healthy for YOU b/c you're really the only one that can insure your wellbeing in the long run. Trust your gut | |
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CalhounSq said: Natisse said: I ask the question I think because someone made the observation that I care too much about people who don't seem to care about me back... I'm not sure whether they're right. I know I have people close to me who I know without a doubt do care very much - but the more time goes on the more I realise how few and far between those people really are and that includes some family
I've procrastinated before and made myself a promise that I wouldn't associate with anyone who didn't truly want to be associated with me back and I should have stuck to that. it's all a learning experience and it never stops... I recently had a falling out w/ a friend that made me question EVERYTHING about myself... Am I too bitchy? Too controlling? Do I cut people off too quickly? Am I mean? Selfish? Wouldn't you know it - the universe brings me a person who attempts to bleed me dry of everything I have. My kindness, my giving nature, my time, my patience, my ASS And b/c I was so turned around by the previous falling out I went against my better judgement & gave the new person TOO MUCH benefit of the doubt. Tried to hold out for the good person in him to prevail, but it never did Bottom line - trust your gut. Shit will always happen that gets you twisted & second guessing yourself. People can have you on one end of the spectrum one year, the other end the next. BUT if you stay true to yourself you won't go too wrong. If you know in your heart that people aren't treating you right start to create distance - you've gotta do what's healthy for YOU b/c you're really the only one that can insure your wellbeing in the long run. Trust your gut back... and I agree with every word you said. it's my gut and instinct that is right every time I just have to recognise and listen to it more ...hope you're ok too everything happens for a reason | |
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Muse2NOPharaoh said: CarrieMpls said: I have a wonderful group of friends, but I, too, am trying to learn Anxy's habit of weeding out the folks who maybe aren't as positive for me as they should be. But see, when I think about that, I worry that maybe I'M the bad person someone would want to weed out. And then I feel badly. So it doesn't quite work from there.
Who would weed YOU out????? You freakin rock. You are a genuine article! that's what I'M saying! I mean, like, where is the sun? | |
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Natisse said: CalhounSq said: I recently had a falling out w/ a friend that made me question EVERYTHING about myself... Am I too bitchy? Too controlling? Do I cut people off too quickly? Am I mean? Selfish? Wouldn't you know it - the universe brings me a person who attempts to bleed me dry of everything I have. My kindness, my giving nature, my time, my patience, my ASS And b/c I was so turned around by the previous falling out I went against my better judgement & gave the new person TOO MUCH benefit of the doubt. Tried to hold out for the good person in him to prevail, but it never did Bottom line - trust your gut. Shit will always happen that gets you twisted & second guessing yourself. People can have you on one end of the spectrum one year, the other end the next. BUT if you stay true to yourself you won't go too wrong. If you know in your heart that people aren't treating you right start to create distance - you've gotta do what's healthy for YOU b/c you're really the only one that can insure your wellbeing in the long run. Trust your gut back... and I agree with every word you said. it's my gut and instinct that is right every time I just have to recognise and listen to it more ...hope you're ok too everything happens for a reason I'm fine Still a little hurt but I truly do believe everything happens for a reason. The latter person was sent to me to teach me a lesson about the boundaries I should never be afraid to set for myself & others. That someone's thoughts/opinions of me don't trump my comfort level w/ their bullshit... it doesn't trump ME. I'm a good friend, very fair, very giving & that really IS enough - all that should ever be expected of me. It just took an utter asshole/user to remind me of that | |
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CalhounSq said: Natisse said: back... and I agree with every word you said. it's my gut and instinct that is right every time I just have to recognise and listen to it more ...hope you're ok too everything happens for a reason I'm fine Still a little hurt but I truly do believe everything happens for a reason. The latter person was sent to me to teach me a lesson about the boundaries I should never be afraid to set for myself & others. That someone's thoughts/opinions of me don't trump my comfort level w/ their bullshit... it doesn't trump ME. I'm a good friend, very fair, very giving & that really IS enough - all that should ever be expected of me. It just took an utter asshole/user to remind me of that I totally agree | |
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and also it's hard to recognise what that instinct is trying to tell you, sometimes it's a trick to know how to understand it all! sometimes you think someone's very very important in your life and will always be there - only to realise that they're full of shit really | |
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Natisse said: and also it's hard to recognise what that instinct is trying to tell you, sometimes it's a trick to know how to understand it all! sometimes you think someone's very very important in your life and will always be there - only to realise that they're full of shit really
EXACTLY... but we get little signs, we just choose to ignore them. Part of me feels like I always knew this dude would fuck me over, just a feeling I had that he was in a certain place when I met him but would turn into a different person once his life got better. That's not exactly how it happened but the ending is the same - he dogged me. And I KNEW!! But I kept hoping for the best in him, not wanting to cancel him too soon & be the asshole (which I really wouldn't have been but of course he would have thought so, I just would have been respectful of my boundaries!!) I wanna be unafraid to be the asshole! CSq . [Edited 11/3/05 3:50am] | |
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CalhounSq said: Natisse said: and also it's hard to recognise what that instinct is trying to tell you, sometimes it's a trick to know how to understand it all! sometimes you think someone's very very important in your life and will always be there - only to realise that they're full of shit really
EXACTLY... but we get little signs, we just choose to ignore them. Part of me feels like I always knew this dude would fuck me over, just a feeling I had that he was in a certain place when I met him but would turn into a different person once his life got better. That's not exactly how it happened but the ending is the same - he dogged me. And I KNEW!! But I kept hoping for the best in him, not wanting to cancel him too soon & be the asshole I wanna be unafraid to be the asshole! CSq I getcha totally | |
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All my friends are nice people | |
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REDFEATHERS said: All my friends are nice people
good for you | |
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