today is your 20th aniversary



I woke up this morning thinking of you. I woke up and wondered what my life would have been like if you were still here. What it would have been like if you stayed her with us. Would I/we be happier? Would things have been worse. Would you have made it throught he tough times? Would you have made everyday a brighter day? I remember all the things you used to "try" to do for me/us. I remembered all the gifts you bought because you felt that you couldnt feel that
"void". None of the materialistic things mattered. Its what you could have gave with your heart. I knew you could love, I just wasnt sure you could love me/us the way you should have. I tried to understand what it was like to be in your shoes, but I was just too young. I think at this very moment I could understand your doings more then ever. I guess I needed to become a little older and just a little wiser. Or maybe lived life just a little. I watched the good, bad and the WORSE unfold. I was a baby, and just couldnt understand. I used to wish on the stars at night, wishing things would be "calmer" when morning came. I was too young to see who and what you really meant to me. Through out these years I have had mixed feelings about you. Anger, why did you leave me/us? Confusion, trying to figure out if I was at fault for any of the things that lead to your departure. Sadness, at times it overwhelmed my soul....couldnt figure out why I had to experience this loss at such a young age. Bitterness, bitter cause I thought you where selfish for leaving the way you did. But through it all I still loved you. I loved you for you. The kind of love I have for you is a love that I could feel for no other. I can smell you sometimes. and I am certain you are in the room with me. I can sense your presence at the drop of a dime. I hate dreaming about you. It just makes me so emotional. That one special gift, that one very special gift that you left behind....I cant ever repay you for. The best thing besides my kids that has every happen to me. I am eternally greatful to you.
I know that it was time to leave so you wouldnt hurt anymore. The pain and suffering you went through must have been unbearable. I cant imagine going through what you did. I gone through my own drama, but you were so much more vulnerable. Maybe your mission here with me/us was completed and you where taken away to a new mission. I will never know, but I still love you just the same.

It's sad but beautiful.

Sweeny79 said:

thank you sweetness.....

TMPletz said:

thanks hun.....


had to write what I was feeling. Im not sad, just needed to speak on my emotions at that moment

amorbella said:

any time my love.

Sweeny79 said:

cant wait to see you

amorbella said:

"see you"


to you Jeanie!

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

thank you!!

AndGodCreatedMe said: