Meaning do you like to do things on your own (independent) or do you rely on other people to help you do things or to do them for you (co-dependant)?

Due to some people in my personal life who have let me down, I have learned to be more independent than ever. It feels good not having to rely on other people for things, and to have the satisfaction of doing something myself without having to ask for help.

What about you?

I am ferociously independent.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Hi, Supa! Being independent is the ONLY way to go

psychodelicide said:

Hey Psych! I absolutely agree

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Being independent makes you stronger

if you want it done right, then you gotta do it yourself

missfee said:

Agreed.

Problem is I Have had to be a Man and woman for SOOO Long that it would be NICe to have some HELP! I am FIERCELY INDEPENDENT and a LONER in the SENSE that If I CAN'T DO It FOR MYSELf then I Don't want a Man to EVEN BE In MY PRESENCE. Just how it is. Plus, I like it MY WAY. Co-Dependent??? NEVER EVER!!!

for the most part i hate relying on others because they always fuck things up but sometimes it can be nice to have people do things for me. i guess i really have to trust someone before i can become codependent and that keeps me pretty independent.

Do we need to open the discussion to clarify the difference between 'dependent' and 'codependent'
In my mind, these are two different concepts. But, that's just me.

**codependent people have a greater tendency to get involved in relationships with people who are perhaps unreliable, emotionally unavailable, or needy. And the codependent person tries to provide and control everything within the relationship without addressing their own needs or desires; setting themselves up for continued unfulfillment.

**dependent....needy.....

I find myself very indepedent and optimistic.

Honeylove said:

Call me ferociously independent, but the description above matches my last boyfriend. He was always trying to pretend that I was needy and unreliable and helpless (which is the opposite of who I am) and then going out of his way to cater to my whims and coddle me (which I found charming at first and then annoying) and focusing on me like a bug under a glass. But the most tearing-out-my-hair issue was that he DID NOT address his very own important needs and seemed to want to dissolve into me and disappear from them and left it for me to go mopping up the damage behind him (which I didn't do). In other words, he wanted a co-dependent partner. But luckily, I'm too independent.

I'm dependent. Increasingly and alarmingly so. I think I have a problem, in fact.

Independent... too much sometimes...

I am Independently co-dependent....


I really like being alone sometimes especially while I work. Sadly, I have a job where I have to be around ppl all of the time-

I am married and I enjoy being with my husband and I miss him very much when he goes away for long trips.
I would much rather be with my 3 dogs then ppl anyday. Saying that, I do not think I would enjoy living all alone- I have to have someone/something around at times.
I guess I am a mix of both but I consider co-dependents to needy and clingy, that I am not!!

Can you tell I am a gemini???

What I'm wondering is when & if I get married, how can I live w/ someone 24/7 that uses my bathroom & sleeps in my bed every fuckin' day & night I'm used to my alone time, we gotta at least have separate bathrooms or somethin'

CalhounSq said:

Of yes, a seperate bathroom is a must!!!!!
I cannot share my bathroom-NOOOO way!
My husband likes his alone time too so it works out well for us.

shanti0608 said:

I wanna be like y'all

None of the above. My ideal is interdependency - you choose to be dependent at times, independent at others.

This seems healthy to me.

Heiress said:

Good one

fiercely independant.... sometimes to a fault

Heiress said:

Exactly. People seem to think that to be strong you have to be independant. A strong individual knows when to ask for support.

CalhounSq said:

Separate bedrooms works for me. You both have your own space but can hang out and sleep together too.

heartbeatocean said:

I've thought about that one too But I think I'll want a single spot where we both are each night, though the thought of just visiting each others rooms is appealing too But I would wanna visit every night, so what would be the point?

I've been independent for a long time. It would be nice to be able to depend on someone else sometimes, though.

CalhounSq said:

separate rooms is great for an insomniac (me) married to a snorer (him). Visiting is great fun though!

I'm 100% independent. In fact, it's kind of a curse, because I refuse to commit to anyone romantically as a result of it (which is ultimately a bad thing).

I can be both fiercely independent and fiercely co-dependent. I go in streaks, I suppose, though I lean towards the independent the vast majoirty of the time.

cborgman said:

!