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i need to break up with my therapist! It's been 8 years...I won't get into why I started seeing her in 1997 but the point is, I'm in a different place now.
She's been really good to me overall, but for the past year she's been condescending of what I do and I feel like I'm starting to water down the truth just so i'll get positive reinforcement from her. I stopped calling her in July and she started calling me at work trying to find out what's going on. So I gave in and started doing sessions again but I feel like they are a waste of time. I dread them. So I cancelled our meeting on tuesday and she left me this really snooty message - i have to do something but I'm afraid she's going to reel me back in... so...basically, how do i break it off for good? Let the rain come down...17 days.... | |
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Issue #1 - you referred to it as "breaking up"  | |
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just be clear with her, and tell her that you're ready to move on. she should respect that, without being snooty or continuing to call. if you have reservations about being clear with her, keep in mind that she is providing a service to you, one that she's getting paid for.
good luck!  | |
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Your therapist needs a therapist. 
It sounds like the kind of person that needs others to feel bad so that she can feel good in comparison. Cut her off right now. Just let her know you don't need her anymore. | |
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purplegypsy said: I stopped calling her in July and she started calling me at work trying to find out what's going on.
Why is she calling you at work??? If my dentist called me at work, asking why I had't seen him for nine months, I'd tell him to go and get fucked. | |
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ISAAC: Hey, you call that guy that you talk to a doctor? I mean, you don't get suspicious when your analyst calls you at home at three in the morning and weeps into the telephone?
MARY: Alright, so he's unorthodox. 
- from Woody Allen's Manhattan |
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purplegypsy said: It's been 8 years...I won't get into why I started seeing her in 1997 but the point is, I'm in a different place now.
She's been really good to me overall, but for the past year she's been condescending of what I do and I feel like I'm starting to water down the truth just so i'll get positive reinforcement from her. I stopped calling her in July and she started calling me at work trying to find out what's going on. So I gave in and started doing sessions again but I feel like they are a waste of time. I dread them. So I cancelled our meeting on tuesday and she left me this really snooty message - i have to do something but I'm afraid she's going to reel me back in... so...basically, how do i break it off for good? Hi Hon!
Apparently she needs the money, that is probaly why she is calling you. My therapist that i use to see was wonderful. I was flanky in going to her, but if i didn't show, she would call and see if i was ok (if it was a period of time) then say ok, if you want to talk, or come see me, i am always here. She was wonderful! I miss Mildred! 
Just leave her a message back saying you think the time has come to split and it was great working with you and wish her a happy new year and just leave it alone. You dont owe her any reasons or excuses... The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom - Anais Nin
"Unnecessary giggling"...  | |
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thanks guys...i know how corny it sounds but i'm like hoping that i can just get her machine and leave a message (she works out of her apt). If i get her live on the phone she'll find a way to make me feel like i'm doing the wrong thing...or maybe i'm just being too dramatic and i don't want to hurt her...see why i need therapy?!  Let the rain come down...17 days.... | |
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IrresistibleB1tch said: just be clear with her, and tell her that you're ready to move on. she should respect that, without being snooty or continuing to call. if you have reservations about being clear with her, keep in mind that she is providing a service to you, one that she's getting paid for.
good luck! you so hit that on the nail. would you like to start being my therapist?  Let the rain come down...17 days.... | |
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I've been in a similar situation the past year, which is even more sticky since I actually live with my therapist!!! (Long story) It just turned around one day where her assistance was no longer supportive, but a burden. She freaked out when I began to withdraw, but eventually has gotten used to it and I'm moving out. (Long story) I really had to become cold and uncommunicative because the relationship was so ingrained and we had become so close, that every time we spoke, I would feel myself getting reeled in again. Yuck. I had to tell her I wanted independence. | |
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purplegypsy said: IrresistibleB1tch said: just be clear with her, and tell her that you're ready to move on. she should respect that, without being snooty or continuing to call. if you have reservations about being clear with her, keep in mind that she is providing a service to you, one that she's getting paid for.
good luck! you so hit that on the nail. would you like to start being my therapist? deal!  | |
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heartbeatocean said: I've been in a similar situation the past year, which is even more sticky since I actually live with my therapist!!! (Long story) It just turned around one day where her assistance was no longer supportive, but a burden. She freaked out when I began to withdraw, but eventually has gotten used to it and I'm moving out. (Long story) I really had to become cold and uncommunicative because the relationship was so ingrained and we had become so close, that every time we spoke, I would feel myself getting reeled in again. Yuck. I had to tell her I wanted independence.
What exactly did you say to her that finally made her let go? Let the rain come down...17 days.... | |
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purplegypsy said: heartbeatocean said: I've been in a similar situation the past year, which is even more sticky since I actually live with my therapist!!! (Long story) It just turned around one day where her assistance was no longer supportive, but a burden. She freaked out when I began to withdraw, but eventually has gotten used to it and I'm moving out. (Long story) I really had to become cold and uncommunicative because the relationship was so ingrained and we had become so close, that every time we spoke, I would feel myself getting reeled in again. Yuck. I had to tell her I wanted independence.
What exactly did you say to her that finally made her let go? I told her I didn't want to hold grudges, but I wanted control over my life and privacy. But disengagement and silence seemed to work the best. That was the only way I felt I could get my power back without capitulating. I don't know if that's the only way. I'd like to say we talked about it and came to terms, but sometimes it doesn't help to talk it out. I just started focusing and relying more on myself, having new relationships, moving forward. | |
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purplegypsy said: IrresistibleB1tch said: just be clear with her, and tell her that you're ready to move on. she should respect that, without being snooty or continuing to call. if you have reservations about being clear with her, keep in mind that she is providing a service to you, one that she's getting paid for.
good luck! you so hit that on the nail. would you like to start being my therapist? Irresistible would make a great therapist.  RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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(in my best Sean Connery voice) "I'll take 'the-rapists' for $100."  | |
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Just tell her you don't feel like the sessions are helping you & you want to stop, go a different way (either on your own or with someone else). Just tell her... don't go to anymore sessions dreading it, that's not being fair to yourself    I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
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You're being a doormat; don't. Who cares how long you've been seeing her or how good she was to you? I swear, people are so scared these days to be selfish. Selfishness in and of itself isn't a bad thing. It's doing what you need to do to be happy.
Just tell her you that you don't need to see her anymore, and that's final. The world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.
"You still wanna take me to prison...just because I won't trade humanity for patriotism." | |
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PurpleKnight said: I swear, people are so scared these days to be selfish. Selfishness in and of itself isn't a bad thing. It's doing what you need to do to be happy.
TRUE DAT!!  I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
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PurpleKnight said: You're being a doormat; don't. Who cares how long you've been seeing her or how good she was to you? I swear, people are so scared these days to be selfish. Selfishness in and of itself isn't a bad thing. It's doing what you need to do to be happy.
Just tell her you that you don't need to see her anymore, and that's final. this advice is on point
most people view being selfish and a negative and bad thing where in, if you don't look out for yourself, nobody else will.... [Edited 10/29/05 9:57am] I will forever love and miss you...my sweet Prince. | |
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