A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

"Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"

"We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh, one day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them pooped in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender, "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird shit."

"It was my first day with the hook."

Cute

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to the front of his pants.... the bartender sees this and says "Hey, doesn't that steering wheel bother you?" and the pirate says "ARGH!!! It's drivin me nuts!!!"

luv4u said:

Depp!!