I'm not a girl, but I'm gay,so at this time of night, I'm the best you'll get.

If you love her, you can show her how much by respecting her wishes. If things are meant to work out -- later -- let her initiate it. You've already communicated in words and deed how you feel.

Lammastide said:

thanks but its 10.20 in the morning here

I'm not a girl, but I'm gay,so at this time of night, I'm the best you'll get.

If you love her, you can show her how much by respecting her wishes. If things are meant to work out -- later -- let her initiate it. You've already communicated in words and deed how you feel.

I'm curious, though, what act is so reprehensible that you can't share it even anonymously via the internet?

...And if it's THAT bad, would you really expect her to forgive it?

Bob, I hear your circumstances and, yeah, it sounds a bit messy.

As a kneejerk reaction, I'd only say things seem kind of emotionally and circumstantially chaotic for the both of you.

I believe that you have deep feelings for her, but my advice remains the same. Give her time. Give her space. Hell, give yourself time and space!

I think when and if this thing works out between you, it'll only work out when some of the rebounding, moving in and out of peoples' lives, etc. has settled. It doesn't sound good for anyone right now.

In the meantime, see your son a lot and take care of the two of you.

My prayers go out to you.

lotsagoodadvicebroughtwithhumourandfeeling

your right about the time and space....but when you love somebody and they are in your head all day.....its so hard but i will let her be, i need to sort myself out first

Lammastide and Byron have given you excellent advice. You might consider letting her know that you are taking time to sort your life out and that you still care. Let her know that you'll contact her after a while to see if she's changed her mind but that you'll live with her decision then.
I think she must care about you to have been hurt this badly by this lie.She probably is wary of being hurt again by anyone .How long has it been since her divorce? It takes a while to get through something like that, especially the abuse. If her ex was hitting her, you can bet he was emotionally abusing her even more. When she found out you lied she probably got all those awful feelings back again,If you give it time, she may realize that you're a good guy and she has some control over the situation and she may be willing to give it another try.

been there, dude..... She's gone and you've got to move on! It sucks, I know....

Unfortunately,she needs time to mend from all that. It's hard, I know, but time is what will make the difference.She needs to learn to trust again and that can take a while, if it happens at all. I hope it works out for you.

Lammastide said:

its a long story.....i left my partner because i wanted to be with her, i was staying in my friends flat for a month but during this time, she wasnt sure weather she wanted another relationship again so soon(her ex husband treated her badly and hit her) ...i took this into consideration and gave her some time to think, she decided she did want me and we went out for about 2 weeks before she suddenly went cold on me again and told me it was over.....i was floored by this and hit a real downer and decided to go back to my partner and to see my wee boy (but my partner and me are over)...after a few days, she contacts me and tells me she is so sorry and misses me and wants to try again.....i am delighted and go and see her for the next few days but i had not yet moved back into my friends house at this point, i just had not got round to it.
.....anyway she found out that i had not moved back into my pals flat, i was still staying at my ex partners house and since then, she does not want to know me..... .....the thing is, she has messed me about for weeks while i am sitting in my pals flat and then tells me its over, i know i lied but i think there are mitagating circumstances behind it.....she knows i am not sleeping with my ex partner but she still wont forgive me....
.....

.... i know some of you might read this and say she is not worth the hassle or it is a complete mess but i do love her to bits
[Edited 10/6/05 2:37am]
[Edited 10/6/05 2:38am]
[Edited 10/6/05 2:41am]

Lammastide said:

Definitely... ...Love isn't about what you can get from someone...it's about what you can give to someone. No matter what it is.

Respect her wishes, and keep her in your heart, thoughts and prayers. Don't try to figure out how to get her back...just try to figure out the best way to love her.
..
[Edited 10/6/05 2:24am]

Definitely... ...Love isn't about what you can get from someone...

and nearly my marriage because I'd finally -- after nearly a decade -- grown the balls (and the respect) to come out of the closet to my wife.

Maybe she loves you too much and she's so shy she'll never ask you to come back.. But I think u'd better have a talk with her instead of us ?

virginie74 said:

she wont talk to me.....i have sent her another big bunch of flowers, thats two in three days....after that, i will leave it for a week or two then i will try and talk to her.....if she is still not interested, then i will need to give up and move on

blackbob said:

Not weeks honey, make it months. If you love her that much she's worth it. You're a smart (except for going to stay at your ex's ) man and a caring one, I don't think you'd fall in love with just anybody. Leave it alone for a while, in the long run a couple of months isn't that much. All the best

Teacher said:

hi jen ...i cant wait months...it is killing me....i will have to try and kill the pain by finding someone else in a few weeks...i know that is a rebound but i cant wait months, i am struggling with a couple of days....