Why are the freaks in my neighborhood coming out of the woodwork and flocking to me? What have I done to deserve this? Shouldn't there be some kind of law?

So yesterday I'm in line at the supermarket, and this creepy old lady turns around out of the blue and bellows (she had a voice like a bullhorn), "ARE YOU OKAY???"

I say, "um...yeah."

She says "WAUGH, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SEEN A GHOST!"

I say, "oh....well, okay."

"YOU LOOK LIKE DRACULA!!!" she says, licking her lips in that weird way that only unhinged old people can.

To which I say, drawing on all my bitchy queen powers to dismiss her as clearly as humanly possible, "thanks a lot! Have a nice day."

At which point, the incident had caught the attention of everyone else in line, as the old bat waddled off to purchase her white bread and suppositories.

Jeeezus.

So, to recap recent comments from the freaks in my neighborhood, I:

* Look as if I've seen a ghost;
* Resemble Dracula;
* Have buck teeth.

I'm a sexy thang.

you didnt have anything sharp in your pockets/hands did you ?

( no other sex freaks i KNOW his penis is sharp fer sure )

Uhmmm
I was indecently proposed by three women while at work.
They were not my type.

Ooh, and I flirted with a German guy at work, he flirted back. No phone numbers.

Maybe you should go back to working nights, and keep your hideous self out of the public eye.

gemini13 said:

someone just had a mental fit in my direction at my job this morning. i think my change in schedule has officially branded me a freak magnet.

Riding the bus downtown on Saturday night a very strange man who was fairly obviously not all there in the head turned to me and my 2 friends I was with and asked if we liked ghost stories. He proceeded to spew words that didn't make a lot of sense about someone leaving a two year old baby in a room face down and robbers came in and the baby was hideously deformed and stabbed one of them and it went on and on and the guy was kinda rocking back in forth in his seat while telling us. It was quite creepy. Luckily we got off on the next stop.

I've said much worse tings to people waiting in line.

Anxiety said:

Well, you've attracted me, so there you go.

awww hun

SammiJ said:

thank ya luv.

i swear, this kind of thing never happened to me when i worked nights. all the crackheads and reprobates minded their own damn business and left me alone!

Imago777 said:

HamsterHuey said:

i think he meant

They all got the hotness for your thumb. They say it does "tricks" whatever that means.

Imago777 said:

Yes, but it's expected.