New PSA Reduces Accidental Staplings By 33 Percent

September 28, 2005 | Issue 41*39

WASHINGTON, DC-In the wake of a campaign launched by the Occupational Safety And Health Administration this spring, accidental stapling incidents among U.S. office workers have fallen by one-third. "We're pleased that 'Stop, Look, and Swingline!' has done so much to promote public awareness of office-stapler safety," said OSHA head Jonathan Snare. "Our primary areas of concern are the fingertips and the delicate thumb-forefinger webbing." OSHA was inspired to make the film after a 2002 PSA was credited with reducing the number of manila-file-foldering fatalities by 20 percent.

I hate those automatic staplers at offices. I can almost hear
them calling out to me "put your finger here, put it here!!".

They mesmerize me up to a point where I would put my penis on
the machine just to hear that metallic twang of the staple as
it's shot out of the machine.

IstenSzek said:

erm...

I don't even know what to say to that.

CarrieMpls said:

I would pull it back in time. Promise

IstenSzek said:

Well in that case, fire away.

CarrieMpls said:

~tttttwwwwwaaaaang~

IstenSzek said:

Is there blood?

I have staples my finder a few times.....
Just not paying attention.....

amorbella said:

Do you think you would have if you'd seen this public service announcement?

CarrieMpls said:

nope, i still would have staples my fu*** finger.....

too busy, just not paying attention.....

CarrieMpls said:

yes. lots of it. and i can't get to the phone

because i'm stapled to the desk right now

IstenSzek said:

Well don't do anything rash.



Have you looked for a staple remover? With the big claws?

CarrieMpls said:

i just got new wallpaper in so i'd rather not

IstenSzek said:

How limber are you? Perhaps you could pry it off with your teeth...

CarrieMpls said:

it worked!

~googles band aids for genitals~

Hey, this is no laughing matter.

One time I was trying to get a stapler unstuck and my popeye like strength caused it to shoot a staple out.....right into my thumb. The staple was flat against my skin!!!

IstenSzek said:

IrresistibleB1tch said:

co-

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

owie!

i hope one day i can be semi-famous so i can be the celebrity spokesman for stapler safety awareness.

The stapler safety article one was a good one, but I think my favorite article from this week's Onion was "Lance Armstrong's Endurance Tested By Sheryl Crow Concert":

Seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong found his endurance stretched "almost to the breaking point" last Friday by a three-hour, 30-song concert presented by his fiancée, pop-folk singer Sheryl Crow. "It was a pretty tough slog," Armstrong told reporters after the event, which he was obligated to attend as part of his new role as Crow's future husband. "I was really straining around ‘The First Cut Is The Deepest'—I don't mind telling you, I just couldn't catch my breath. When we reached 'All I Wanna Do (Is Have Some Fun),' I felt like I'd been through that territory about a million times, and I seriously considered just giving up and collapsing for the first time in my career." Armstrong, who is revered by millions for fighting through cancer, antagonism from abusive fans, and steroid-abuse allegations, would not comment on whether this latest obstacle would prove too much for him to overcome.

http://www.theonion.com/c...node/41194