CalhounSq said:

"whack/terrible sex"

Good luck to all of you who think Sex is so important in a relationship. In most long term relationships, sex drives change and health issues arise.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

You so subtle, Supa

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

CalhounSq said:

Subtlety is my specialty

Is it quality or quantity that is important???

I've said in a previous topic that sex is important in a relationship and I do still believe that. When there are problems with sex in a relationship it can be very frustrating, not only for the person not getting any but the person who feels pressured (possibly) to have sex when they maybe do not feel like it. However, if I did care about someone I would try to be patient, give them time and try to get to the bottom of the problem with low sex drive. It may just be an incompatibility issue but if their sex drive has suddenly vanished then there may be some other underlying issue. There may be many reasons for not wanting to have sex with a partner - for example, stress, depression, low self-esteem issues, illness, etc. It may be important to understand the underlying issues causing the loss in libido and try to resolve them.

don't walk, RUN!!!

It sucks when you want to have sex and your partner is totally not interested, for whatever reason. The rejection, no romance, no affection, takes its toll. I have figured out that if it starts to leading toward you cheating or having an affair, just leave. I would not want someone to cheat on me, just say its over and both go separate ways.

I think you can love someone but the living together part is worse. If you feel like you are just roommates, is it over?? I am tired of having a roommate and the only thing we share is a bed and rent.

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[Edited 10/4/05 10:03am]

I have to say that my priorities have changed since my marriage went down the toilet and I think if there is no sex for a long time then thereare other issues that sometimes cant be fixed. I felt like i had a lodger instead of a husband and if you are not sexually compatible or have roughly the same sex drive then its best to call it a day and find someone who is. By the way i thought all Prince fans were horny toads?? I know I am for sure. When there is rejection and no affection and no comunication thenits best to just leave cause you end up feeling shit about yourself and who needs that!

NO.. i woudlnt' leave him because he had little or no sex drive.. but i would try to work on that and find out why.. It could be becuase he isn't into me or because he is fucking someone else.. if that is the case, then hell yes, his ass would get shipped to the curb!

Janfriend said:

Sex is overrated. I agree with you 100%.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Damn, are you and SinP twins separated at birth or what?

Stymie said:

I laughed when I saw his response because I didn't read any responses before posting my reply

I have mixed feelings on this subject.
I have been married previously and it did not work out for many reasons. My current husband & I have built a life together. Our families get along, we have great friends, we have 3 dogs together that are our children, we have a beautiful house together. We have so much in common and feel like we are soul mates, my libido has declined since we started dating 9 years ago but I think that is to be expected. We had sex all of the time back then but our lives we different back then. We did not have the responsibilties then that we do now. I think sometimes it is harder for women to keep the passion because men get comfortable and lazy and I personally find it hard to feel passionate towards my husband after I clean his toilet...
At the end of the day we love one another more then anything on this earth. We want to grow old together, sit on the front porch of our cabin together and take care of one another for the rest of our lives.
I feel like it I gave up our life together because we were not having sex like we used to that I would be setting myself up to be unhappy.
I say this because I have been married before and I know that things change as couples stay together for a long time.
I guess it depends on ones priorities..

Why would u get into a relationship with someone who wasnt "frequently" compatable?

blackbob said:

the answer to this question depends upon time and emotional content invested into the relationship.

I am married 2 some1 whose libido does not match my own. If I'm being honest it can b frustrating at times and no1 wants 2 feel rejected by the 1 person who is supposed 2 love U above all others, but at the end of the day, I remind myself of 2 important things. It took me 26 years 2 find somebody 2 love, if U lower your standards enough, U can get laid anytime. Also, when i've been cut off 4 a while, when I'm given the proverbial green light, which happens often, The sex is HOT

maybe it's cause the dyanmic of my relationships are different. but i'd talk about it or use the open relationship option to see fi that sparks things. but than again it depends on the person and situation.

however i'd try to pick someone with equal sex drive.

SEX: it is many things to many people. It might depend upon internalized feelings of ability, worth, state of mind...

It might depend upon phyical drives.

It depends upon several factors that are not always the same.

Sex drive is always in flux.

Point being made here is that you can not "match" yourself with a partner based on sex drive, because over time it will change.

Sex for a couple should be an open exchange. It is one of those things that needs be compromised upon.

Sex shouldn't ever be used as a manipulation tool in a relationship. Unless agreed upon.

Sex is over rated.

Sometimes people confused with "high" sexual drives are just suplacating some other emotional statis with some biased feeling that comes from sexuality.

Thanks npgmaverick & mickG for replying.
I agree with both of you.

If IT CONTINUED..YES, I would leave. I would feel INSECURE . I would feel he didn't LOVE ME..

I wouldn't mind if he didn't want any....as long as he's fun, loving and sweet.

It's a really funny joke nature or god plays on mankind. Most men peak around 19 when many of their female peers aren't giving them any. By the time women peak around 34 most male peers are hitting that sexual slow down.

MickG said:

It just means that "older" women should date younger men, that's all

well, so far I haven't

MickG said:

I'm peaking right this minute!!!

charlottegelin said:

TMPletz said:

I am going to waste here!

MickG said:

I guess it all depends on the person. My husband did not peak until we met and he was 24 yrs old then. I think I peaked around 19-22 then again around 30 (mini-peak to explore the same sex). My husband and I are hoping I peak again soon, I am now 34 and NO signs of peaking again. He is still peaking since he was 24, he is 33 now.
Life can be cruel...

I hope not, because hes always pressuring me 4 anal sex, as he belongs to the old 1970s school of barebacking, whereas I am in the modern just say no phase, I could think of a lot of reasons 2 leave my partner, but sex isnt one, theres too much positive in our relationship. If ur partner has a strong personality and mind, like mine does u should b able to wether any storm.