[Flame bait snip - luv4u]

RICIDULOUS!!!

I was flamed

Damn you McFly.

I don't stop for one second to consider my "attractiveness" if I meet someone I find attractive (and my standards are generally ridiculously high ). I engage them in conversation and, if they're interesting, I pursue it (or they pursue me ).

I've dated actresses, models, whatever...there is no one "outside my league". There are, however, people whose intellectual capacity is below my league.

Have you always taken into account your opinion of your own attractiveness when looking for a partner? Is it true that most of the time we know our 'league' physically and we tend to look within that range for potential partners, then find someone in that range whose other characteristics are desirable to us?

I posit that we are therefore, on the whole, pretty superficial beings, and despite our best efforts to champion the cause for inner beauty, outer beauty still holds the most sway.

I think there's truth in the fact that we consider ourselves physically too attractive for some and not attractive enough for others and that this dictates to some extent how we find a partner.

It's all well and good to say that people have different tastes and find different people physically attractive, but ultimately there is a basic level of agreement among people about what is attractive in people and what is not. Does this mean, therefore, that all but the very attractive have, to some extent, to settle for less than they'd desire?

But would we freely admit this? I think we may well try to claim that our partner is the most attractive to us physically, but is that really true? If given a choice between our partner as they are and basically the same person but physically more attractive, who would we pick?

Are we just comfortable with how the whole thing works and do we just accept it as a fact of life? Are you someone who has taken this into account when dating? Or are you someone who takes issue with this idea, instead gravitating towards people who you find attractive regardless of your own physical self-image?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.

I do pick girlfriends carefully. My friends have actually said i pick them too carefully. I would rather have a short relationhip with a beautiful girl than a very long one with a ugly girl. I am in my prime years. If i am turned off by their looks we not going to have much of a sex life. What's the point in being with someone if you are not going to have a sex life?????

Anbody get can smarter. Just go to school. A person can only do so much with their looks though.

You have to be attracted to a partner for it to be long lasting..but looks alone isn't love its lust.....

I'm an pretty unattractive man....hope you're right!

That's great that you have the self-assuredness that you don't let it dictate in any way how and who you date. Surely you understand it goes both ways though re your last comment.

I think you're a handsome fella and you know you are Fauxie.

I usually gravitate towards personality, yes looks come into it, I think they do for everyone, but I would go for an interesting intelligent person rather than a beautiful air head.

See that's the thing, I don't. I have a poor self-image and always have. I never had a gf in school, dated, or anything. I was shy and had a poor self-image, as I said, and I think that's the reason I would hang around the girls I found most attractive who were the most sought after and would chat with them, as I guess I thought I didn't stand a chance so there was no harm to be done to me there. I've only just realised this through thinking about this thread. Interesting!

I wholeheartedly agree with you regards an interesting intelligent person over a beautiful air head, but I don't think that negates my original point. I'm thinking about the very first stages, when seeing someone, or indeed not seeing them if indeed we do filter people out.

Oh well I'm sure someone will take pity on u

That's a shock, you're very handsome.

No you were not. I, however, was "snipped" by an overzealous moderator.

You're becoming extremely annoying.

FLAMEBAIT!!!

You're becoming extremely annoying.

FLAMEBAIT!!!

Stop being so childish and I won't find you annoying.