XxAxX said:

i would think she would have terrible hemorrhoids.

I've dealt with dudes i thought were really good looking, much more so than myself, but the deciding factor is an will always be whether they can put up with me being a weirdo that more often than not talks about abstract topics...


But they usually must be funny, in their own way-- nothing worse than a beautiful bore.

TheFrog said:

we can only hope she's graduated to a kinder, gentler appliance

XxAxX said:

juicer?

cinnamonjo said:

cinnamonjo said:

that's one hell of an image.

sag10 said:

IrresistibleB1tch said:

oh hey i agree. why restrict ourselves to leagues??? as long as there are duct tape and handcuffs the sky's the limit

Wow, Fauxie - it's like you hacked into a conversation I was having with a mate on the weekend... Honestly.

I'm in work and my train of thought will be derailed any second, so please bear with me...

NOT that I'm in any hurry to meet someone - I know far too many people like that - but, as I said to my mate the other day, I do sometimes wish that it was easier to know when two people are attracted to each other. Or wish someone invented an attractabilityometer - ! - that flashes when two compatible people pass by. I'm joking, obviously, but it can be quite difficult to tell when other people are interested, I guess.

This is something I've thought about for a long time. Without trying to look superficial, I do think people know their 'limits', so to speak. I don't think anyone is above or below anyone else in the grand scheme of things but - when it comes to attractiveness - I'm sure most people have an inkling of who they would or wouldn't try to attract. Or can or cannot attract. That's human nature. People can't help liking who they like; and most people have a (self-imposed) 'limit' on whom they think they can attract. This could be due to certain factors - looks, personality, occupation, whatever it is they're interested in - but most people live within that 'comfort' zone. Perhaps it's the fear of the unknown or a fear of rejection.

Whether people know the true extent of their attractiveness is another matter, though.

Anyway, I hope this isn't self-indulgent but just something to explain this (it's difficult to put it into context otherwise)...

Like you, Fauxie, I grew up with a poor self-image. I had a very happy childhood but - as soon as I went to secondary school - I was labelled as a 'swot'. Or gay. Or the gay swot! (Double whammy). I was bullied quite a bit but this wasn't helped by the fact that my only refuge, my home, was policed by my father - an arrogant, old-fashioned, bigot who still thinks Men rule the roost and women do the dishes. Just one reason as to why we haven't spoken in 14 years. I felt intimidated in school and intimidated at home. It was a small Welsh ex-mining town where to stand out and be different immediately attracts attention. Guys didn't want to hang round me in case they were labelled a 'poof' ; girls didn't come near me as they didn't think there was much point! (Not that I knew I was gay). Luckily, I had a small group of amazing friends who always looked out for me. Lucky for me I went to Uni and escaped that place and met terrific friends. I also 'came out' and my life was transformed in hundreds of ways.

Anyway, that's all a long time ago. The reason I'm telling you all this is to give a brief background as to the sort of upbringing I had. I know people who've had much harder life experiences than me - so please don't think I'm bleating; my life was simple compared to their's - but, for a long time, it shaped who I was and defined my self-image.

Fast-forward 10/15 years and, in some ways, it still shapes my life. I've gone from being someone NO-ONE would bat an eye lid at to someone who does get attention. I'm sure that's all to do with growing up, becoming more confident, becoming a man, etc., but it still feels weird sometimes. I've gone from being someone who didn't even have his first kiss until he was 19 (!) to someone who is a bit more, er, experienced. I certainly don't think I'm gorgeous but I know I'm not that bad either. But I have no concept of who it is I attract or who I'm capable of attracting; all I know is that my friends think I'm capable of meeting someone really nice; as far as I'm concerned, it'll happen when it happens. But there are certain types that I would never dream of going near - whether they'd be interested in me or not, I have no idea.

I've gone off on one a bit but the point to all this is that part of growing up is finding out who you are, what you like, what you don't like, what you're happy with. Being happy with yourself. As I said at the start of this, I know so many people who spend their lives as if meeting the right person - or 'The One' - depends upon it. I've never experienced a real love affair and isn't Life there to be experienced? I'd hate to be an 80 year old and never know what that feels like. It must be one of the most intense, heady, life-changing things to go through. But I won't put my life on hold for it. And when the right person comes along, they'll come along. And it won't have anything to do with what 'league' they're in. Looks fade, personality grows. And as other Orgers have said - I think self-confidence is the key; you could be Brad Pitt or Joe Schmoe - if you don't like yourself, why the hell should anyone else? And that - not being in a specific league - is the main issue. Everything else just follows on from there.

Apologies for the work-stream-of-consciousness-thang.
[Edited 9/28/05 10:37am]

sag10 said:

You just said in 3 sentences what it took me in about 60!

THAT'S what I'm saying.

I do think people stick to their own league. That's why you rarely see a drop dead beautiful girl with a ugly guy and you rarely see a great looking guy with a homely girl. Most couples you see are usually equal in good looks or bad looks. Most people settle whether they realize it or not. Because they don't want to be alone and they wanna get laid.lol

I think it's the same when it comes to finances. How many model's do you see dating Hot Dog Vendors?

If i had to choose between a beautiful dumb girl and a butt ugly smart girl i would go with the pretty girl. Because she can get smarter. But there is only so much you can do if the person is homely. You can only imporve the looks so much. If you are not physically attracted to the person it will not work because you will not want to have sex with them.

I definitely think people believe in leagues and that it quite often is a conscious thing, or at least becomes one after a while. Women that look at me are usually around my age and have around the same amount of "flaws", if I can call them that. I look at "flawless" women sometimes but rarely want to approach them since such women often are attention-craving, narcissistic and sometimes even have underdeveloped personalities since they never had to do anything but look good in their lives. I also look at more "flawed" women since flaws often give them a more personal and interesting look, but women with flawed looks often have serious self-confidence issues. In the end it always comes down to her personality.

Spats said:

You'd choose the stupid girl just because of she's 'prettier'? And you really believe a truly dumb person can 'get smarter'?

Here's something for you to consider: a goodlooking person can get PRETTY DAMN BORING if they've nothing to offer past a pretty face. looks eventually fade, no matter WHO you are, or how "hot" you are, but an intelligent mind lasts.

You better watch out about how you choose your girlfriends/wife, because, in the end, you might only end up with a faded, unattractive stupid woman who has nothing to say nor offer your relationship once she's not "hot" anymore, and the guy who chose that "butt ugly yet smart" girl will be enjoying a fulfilling relationship for a long, long time.

XxAxX said:

IrresistibleB1tch said:

not sure if I stayed on "topic"

well i dont believe in., "shes to pretty, she wont date me...or hes too good looking, he wont look twice at me".....
You'll never know till you try....



Some say beauty is everything, and they would never date an ugly man/ or women.
I think flaws are beautiful. Flaws gives a person character.
Beauty can be a killer. Looks are nice, but its whats inside that counts....


As for $$$$$, its always nice, but.....

money really isnt an issue with me, it doesnt make a person.Its what the person can give emotionally that counts

not sure what is "out of my league"

Ace said:

Agreed

My initial attraction is usually right here on the net, a glimpse in2 the mind is more attractive 2 me than a pic.

Fauxie said:

Well... i've always considered myself special but i wasn't that attractive b4 a few years, when years of learning about how 2 look & behave 2 b attractive made me become so (or so i guess from what people tell me)... This being said, it's true that there was a time when it REALLY got on my nerves when a girl i had no interest in tried 2 catch me.

So 4 many years the girls i had were not the girls i REALLY wanted 2 b with. The girls i wanted 2 b with were DA BOMB! Not bimbos, but the girls everybody wanted 2 b with cuz they were so beautiful AND so intelligent AND so charming. But the girls i was with were, well, girls that might have been cute or clever, but they were not everybody's fantasy.

That got on my nerves 4 years...

Then, it began 2 change...

I guess i became what i had always wanted 2 b, there4 i began 2 b able 2 date the girls i REALLY wanted 2 date.

I guess my last 6 girlfriends or so were "girls that everybody want 2 b with" (well, FACT IS that everybody wanted 2, anyway, which sometimes also means lots of trouble because some men r really wolves & would do anything including lying 2 fuck ur girlfriend). Of course i didn't chose them 4 that reason. I chose 'em because they were so... Wow! & it happened that everybody thought like me.

Now that my ego has been satisfied, i happen 2 have also learned the true meaning of deep love along the way.

But anyway, i guess i'll keep on being with "dabomb" girls...

Just because i don't c any reason 2 stop now that i'm there...

& just 4 the pleasure 2 make 'em all jealous

.
[Edited 9/27/05 15:38pm]
[Edited 9/27/05 15:40pm]
[Edited 9/27/05 15:42pm]

Ace said:

Bingo.

I do pick girlfriends carefully. My friends have actually said i pick them too carefully. I would rather have a short relationhip with a beautiful girl than a very long one with a ugly girl. I am in my prime years. If i am turned off by their looks we not going to have much of a sex life. What's the point in being with someone if you are not going to have a sex life?????

Anbody get can smarter. Just go to school. A person can only do so much with their looks though.

Ace said:

That's great that you have the self-assuredness that you don't let it dictate in any way how and who you date. Surely you understand it goes both ways though re your last comment.

I've always considered myself to be in the "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen"

...but that's only because of my enormous genitals.
[Edited 9/27/05 23:29pm]

Spats said:

You have to be attracted to a partner for it to be long lasting..but looks alone isn't love its lust.....

MartyMcFly said:

[snip - luv4u]

[ricidulous.....]

Twas a joke silly...

This was a serious thread.

MrsJimmyFallon said:

That shit made me laugh too Most DUMB folks are gonna stay fuckin' DUMB

But Spats doesn't give a shit, he literally only cares about how hot the girl is & how many orafices she'll let him violate. He will be the lonely fucker in the club @ the age of 50, poor thing

As for me, I too suffer from a low self image but it comes & goes. Deep down I don't feel like anyone is out of my league. I don't judge a person on how attractive they are to the world or their financial status or any shit like that. If I dig you, you make me laugh, seem honest & are ambitious I'm there. But now that I think about it, my boyfriends have generally been thought of as very attractive/FINE to other women (one used to get told he looked like Denzel all the time ). The only drawback to that is more pussy being thrown their way making it easier to cheat. But I don't worry about that as much as I probably should




.
[Edited 9/28/05 0:53am]