Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing
wife. Tearfully, she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly
on the phone this morning. I had to call several times before he would
even answer the phone."
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist
and demand an apology. Before he could get 3 words out, the druggist
interrupted him:
"Now, just a minute! Listen to my side of the story. This morning, the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I left without eating breakfast and hurried out to the car, only to realize that I had locked the house with both house and car keys still inside. So I had to break a bedroom window and crawl inside to get my keys. Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store, a mob of people were waiting for me to open.

I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the
while, the damn phone was ringing off the hook. Then, I had to break a
roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up them up, and the phone was still ringing. When I stood up, I cracked my head open on the cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase full of perfume bottles. Nearly half of them hit the floor and broke. Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and when I finally staggered back to answer it, it was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her!"

i wish some people would ask me that question some days. i think i'll start pretending.

funky