This fall I still don't know what the hell I'm going to do. I'm hoping to work in Japan, but I might as well end up starting my own business in Stockholm. In effect, big building blocks of life such as the proximity of friends, acquaintances and family is completely undecided as well as career and cultural environment. Would this be mostly exciting to you or would it mostly freak you out? Of course it's easy to say that a combination of planning and sponaneity is preferable, but which of the two extremes are you leaning more towards and why?

Personally I'm leaning towards "planning" if you look at roughly a one half-to-three-year perspective. Everything below and above that is best kept unplanned, in my opinion. But of course I change my mind all the time.

First tell me what your primary org account is!!!!

I never plan anything. I sort of wandered and ambled my way to where I am now. I've got lots to be happy about and thankful for, but I'm nowhere near where I want to be, so I'm taking a class on how to plan better. I'm not sure it's working yet.

One thing I've planned carefully is how to whack Imago on the head with a baseball bat.

CarrieMpls said:

But you do know where you want to be?

retina said:

No. That's a big part of the problem. lol.

On this aspect of life, I suffer from mood-swings. But the 'unplanned' periods don't have that much to do with travelling physically.

I don't know for how long I will have my recent job, but in general my life is rather planned right now. This has been different for a long time. But in a rather emotional way.

CarrieMpls said:

A close friend of mine has always seemed to know where he wants to be and he's planning his life more carefully than pornstars trim their pubes, but sometimes I wonder if somewhere along the way he's started to take his goals for granted and stopped feeling if they are truly what he wants. So I don't think it's unhealthy to be unsure about your goals; it's good to reevaluate them regularly even when they seem (or at some point have seemed) crystal clear.

On the other hand, it sucks ass to feel lost.

.

Totally open. I can't stand tell to myself what i'm gonna do in the future. Some people might think it's a symptom of immaturity but it's the way i like to live. I'm actually in L.A for the next 2 years and a half but i may change my mind. In my opinion, nothing is inscribe in a stone.

MarieLouise said:

Well you don't know that, right? An unplanned life may or may not contain travels. It is simply uncertain/open. How do you feel about such uncertainty?



In what way?

jizzinparis said:

I know this feeling really well. But for me, it has changed since I met the man who was my imaginary friend as a child.

That scares me sometimes, because I believe as well that love is a construction in our head and hearts. It may tumble down, if you don't care for it or focus too much on it.

retina said:

See my love-comment. That's an answer to both your questions. Just not sure if this answer is 'planned' or 'unplanned'.

jizzinparis said:

Do you never worry that you'll one day wake up and realize that you never got around to doing certain things because they required a certain amount of planning that you weren't prepared to do?

MarieLouise said:

I see what you mean. I'm not engaged in any kind of relationship and for years now, i almost have no more connections with my family. So

MarieLouise said:

Wow, that sounds intriguing! Tell me more / explain please.

retina said:

See orgnote.

jizzinparis said:

Is there a sweating smiley?

retina said:

I've never really set goals for myself as far as my career is concerned. I just sort of took what came along. I lack confidence in my ability to do the things I'd truly want to do and have settled for getting by. That whole 'you can do anything you set your mind to' notion was/is completely lost on me.
So, I'm learning to actually look at what I might want to do and find out ways to make those things possible. I feel like I'm 19 again. But not in a good way.

To me, the unplanned phases have been very inspiring. But I would die if I only had those.

retina said:

Yeap, i used to think that way in the past. Not today. I'm not gonna tell you all my backgrounds, but just because one day i decided to move my life in a certain direction - journalist in porn business to be precise - everybody turn their back on me. So now, most of time, it's all about me. Selfish attitude ? Sure it is but i used to deal with it.

MarieLouise said:

We should ask for it no ?

CarrieMpls said:

If you'd started the process you're starting now when you were 19, by now you'd probably be aching to be aimless even more than you're aching to find direction at this stage of your life. Just a thought.

jizzinparis said:

I guess it must be liberating to be in that situation. Even though my parents never expect or demand things of me, I think I subconsciously try to please them anyway. Same thing goes for certain friends. On the other hand, to give up the connection with them would be an enormous sacrifice. In a perfect world, freedom and close personal connections would coexist. In my world, it usually doesn't work that way.

jizzinparis said:

Is there a paranoide designer/computer-geek in the house?

retina said:

That may well be true. I have had a hell of a good time.
The grass is always greener, eh?

MarieLouise said:

I'm not that man

retina said:

You know Retina, i really think there's no rules about that. And as you said, in a pefect world, freedom and close personnal connections would coexist ! But perfection would be a matter of fact to easy in this world.

CarrieMpls said:

It sure seems to be.

I can tell that you've had a good time though. It's become a part of you, a part of your attitude and something you can fall back on when the skies are grey. It's a precious thing, really.

CarrieMpls said:

No, it isn't. That's what makes it so hard.

MarieLouise said:

Just enjoy your green grass.