It’s 2 A.M. in the morning here and I just got finished with the most unfortunate episode of liquescent diarrhea in well over a year.

I had actually gone to bed approximately two hours ago, and everything was relatively normal. Earlier in the night, I had eaten 2 big slices of pizza, something that I haven’t eaten in many months because I’ve been avoiding any dairy products out of a conscientious objection to indirectly supporting the Veal industry.

But around 1:45 am, I was awaken by a bad dream about my being sick only to discover that my stomach was indeed feeling some severe gas pains. I got up feeling absolutely nauxious and stumbled in the dark into the master bathroom to do my business.

It was a nauxious feeling unlike any other that I’ve experienced in many years. The pain and pressure within my stomach was so excruciating that I felt as if I was going to give birth to H.R. Giger’s alien through my small intestine. The entire time I was trying to squeeze a crap out of my ass just to get the junk flowing and pass whatever was inside me out.

I knew immediately that the pain I was feeling had to be due to the food I’d eaten. It was the most unhealthy meal I’d eaten in several months, and my body had to be reacting to it.

So for almost 10 minutes I sat on the toilet in absolute agony trying to squeeze this loaf out of my ass, while at the same time feeling as if I needed to vomit. This of course presented me with a dilemma. What if the flood gates of my sphincter open and out comes this steamy, acquiesce, dump while I was experiencing projectile vomiting? . I saw visions of me having to clean up puke off of myself, my toilet, bathroom floor, and possibly shower for the rest of my evening with only the small reprieve of knowing that at least the toxic dung boiling in my excretory tract will have at least made it’s grandiose and violent exit.

The moment came and went, my rear spewed it’s liquid and lumpy brew, and I was finally restored to some sense of normalcy. I found myself extremely thirsty after that episode, and as I type this I feel a slight aftershock of the original tremor if you will.

But I know now, that I will never eat pizza again unless I balance it with salad or fruit. But for the most part I will avoid it. I can’t wake up in the middle of the night anymore like this.

Imago777 said:

IstenSzek said:

By sharing we can all heal together. This can't be an all too uncommon experience in a society that eats dairy products.

Imago777 said:

any proposals on what we could share?

IstenSzek said:

A room at the Amsterdam 2006 invasion.

I snore really loud,and my legs are hairy.

Consider the snoring a bugal calling out my love.

.
[Edited 9/15/05 23:45pm]

Imago777 said:

you won't get a chance to snore, believe me

IstenSzek said:

Did u have to use this account to post this

Felt good didnt it...didnt it?

paisleypark4 said:

Thank you.

I don't why Ocean's always gotta be hatin'

Imago777 said:

I do hope ur feeling better though lol

Imago777 said:

~timehascome2galvanize~

Oceans said:

I think I'm going to be brave and get back to bed.

Imago777 said:

Yes good idea..go to bed ....stop posting

Thanks for sharing your misforture. All I can do is advise you to the following: eat some rice and starches. Also, you may want to consider either taking Kaopetate or Peto-Bismal-Use these in good health along with these .

Imago777 said:

sweet jesus!


ok i'd like to know what kind of pizza was it?

IrresistibleB1tch said:

Christopher said:

pizza hut, meat lovers.

Imago777 said:

i do, too!

brilliant.

Imago777 said:

imagine queen latifah prolly gets free pizzahut doing all those commericals. shes gotta call star jones or richard simmons to help wipe her down every week

Christopher said:

oh dear jesus...

these zelaira threads are getting out of hand.

That's lovely.

But I've got you beat having just gotten over the flu AND food poisoning at the same time.

A whole WEEK on the toilet is wonderful, let me tell you.

Miguel hates the brown talk.....MIGUEL HATES THE BROWN TALK!!!!!



m

this thread really is shitty.

Milty said:

and how

Meat Lovers!

Greasy Fat Overload!

Have a nice salad today.

I'll mentally rub your tummy for you.