Hello, fellow orgers!

I need some clarity on a little situation. This may sound petty but it's bugging the hell out of me.

A few months ago, a friend of mine borrowed $300 bucks from me with the agreement that she would pay me back within one week. She lives in North Carolina and shortly after the check cleared she dissappeared. Never returned my phone calls, emails and text messages. Now, we're very close and we had been talking about all kinds of things before she asked for the money. She moved to North Carolina with some girl she met at the Abbey (after only a few weeks of knowing her Lesbians I don't get them). And she called me the first two months for moral support because she hated, regretted the move...whatever. Eventually I gave up calling her and figured she'd come around. When she did come around about two weeks ago, she did leave me a message apologizing for the silence and that she had been real busy and what not. Nothing about the money. I just figured that was $300 bucks I'd never see again and let it go.

So, now it turns out she and her girl are coming out here this weekend to visit. And we've talked and lodging arrangements have been made and plans to do stuff have been taking care of. But I feel that we're both ignoring the proverbial elephant in the middle of the room.

So what do I do?
Do I chalk it up to a bad investment?
or do I bring it up and ask her for the cash? If I ask her, what would be the best way as to not be so tacky (I know it's not that much money but it's the principal of thing IMO) plus I don't want to ruin her trip out here either. Should I address this before she gets here or do I ask her when she's here?

Or am I just a petty fuck and need to just let it go? It's just that I tend to be a door mat on so many things and I've slowly been starting to take care of myself and this is a perfect opportunity...oh hell I'm confused.

please advice

If you don't really need the cash at the moment just remind her but say that she can repay you at a later date when she has the cash (fix a date though) just say you wanted to let her know so SHE didn't feel awkward and just try to ignore the situation.

I think you should bring it up. try to be gentle about it but...can't just let it slide.

I think you should bring it up too. You guys had an agreement, don't let it slide.

Women will take advantage of a nice guy every single time. Let this be a lesson to you. Take it from me and 50....

I don't know what you heard about me

But a bitch can't get a dollar out of me

No Cadillac, no perms, you can't see

That I'm a motherfucking P-I-M-P

Let it go. In the future, never lend money that you ever intend to see again.

She's not staying with you for the visit, is she?

i don't get this shit about making her feel awkward and ruining her trip.
FUCK THAT!! I'd be like "where's my motherfuckin' money?" You better ask her now that you're in contact with her, cuz if you don't who knows when you'll here from her again?

Stymie said:

Could you loan me $300?

sinisterpentatonic said:

For you, anything.

Doesn't sound like much of a friend to me (more like a user). Ask her point-blank when she will be returning the money. If she doesn't have it all now, work-out a strict payment plan. It's not about the money, it's about respect.

Overall, if I lend money I don't expect it back. But whether or not you get it back says something about the "friend" that borrowed it from you.

Because you have issues about people walking all over you, you need to decide how you feel about the situation.

To me, you loaned it to her expecting it back, so much so that you even had a time to expect it back, so the fact she has not returned it, disappeared and now has re-appeared ready to "visit" does suggest that she did not have any intention of paying you back.

If you want to leave the door open to this friendship then by all means do so. I can't help but wonder where the money for this "visit" is coming from. If she gets to you and gives you what she owes you, that is one thing. If she just comes ready to party and does not have your money or even brings up the subject...she is telling you she does not intend to pay you back. At that point, you need to decide if you are going to ask her for it back and even continue your friendship.

Nothinbutjoy said:

Nothinbutjoy said:

I agree.

I hate when folks 'borrow' money and disappear and then act like they forgot about it, too. I also hate when people owe money but go out and shop and buy electronics or some other shit. Bitch, if you had the money to shop, you had the money to pay me back!!!

Moral of the story: don't loan money.

sociopath said:

Ok then what about the men I've loaned money to and didn't get paid back?

Wow...thanks for all the replies guys...

I'm definately going to bring it up. And come to think about it. She still owes me for the Madonna Reinvention Tour ticket. I was unable to go and she said she'd pay be back the following week. I completely forgot about that...I'm such an ass

TheResistor said:

I think I would just go with the $300 for now!

TheResistor said:

You should probably stop beating yourself up! You don't sound like and "ass" at all, you sound like a very nice person, who is so nice they get taken advantage of. Being that nice is nothing to be ashamed of..taking advantage of that kind of person is.
good luck to you.
you just reminded me that my sister inlaw never paid me for her ticket to the hit and run show. great!

Shorty said:

That was like 5 years ago wasn't it?

CarrieLee said:

yeah...

CarrieLee said:

Works both ways. You were dumb to loan money out, too.

sociopath said:

I was just trying to help out a friend. And the lesson was learned!

CarrieLee said:

you see? that's why I don't help anyone.

jerseykrs said:

i wonder if i'll ever see all that money i loaned to the victims of hurricane Katrina again.

Shorty said:

CarrieLee said:

and that was very kind of you to do that generosity is something sorely undervalued I think nowadays...

not the same thing, but a couple of weeks ago I was out of money and it was a bad time of year and I really really wanted and needed to contact all my family back home but didn't have the money to... a close friend knew this and put £25 on a phone card so I could call my brother and family now THAT'S special... may not be on a huge scale but to me it meant the world

Advice Corner closed

sociopath said:

looks like somebody got played ...

PEJ said:

That is why I always say "Don't hate the playa...hate tha game."

notoriousj said:

notoriousj said:

how original.