New Rule: Abstinence pledges make you horny.

In a setback for the morals/values crowd, a new eight-year study just released reveals that American teenagers who take virginity pledges wind up with just as many STD's as the other kids. But that's not all. "Taking the pledge" also makes a teenage girl six times more likely to perform oral sex, and four times more likely to allow anal. Which leads me to an important question: Where were these pledges when I was in high school?

Seriously, when I was a teenager, the only kids having anal intercourse, were the ones who missed. My idea of lubrication was oiling my bike chain. If I had known I could have been getting porn-star sex the same year I took Algebra 2 simply by joining up with the Christian right, I'd have been so down with Jesus, they would have had to pry me out of the pew.

And, let me tell you, there is a lot worse things than teenagers having sex. Namely, teenagers not having sex. Here is something you'll never hear: "That suicide bomber blew himself up because he was having too much sex. Sex, sex, sex! Nonstop! All that crazy Arab ever had was sex, and look what happened!" But among the puritans here of the 21st century, the less said to kids about sex, the better. Because people who talk about peepees are "potty-mouths."

And so, armed with limited knowledge and believing regular, vaginal intercourse to be either immaculate or filthy dirty - these kids did with their pledge what everybody does with contracts: they found loopholes. Two of them, to be exact.

Is there any greater irony than the fact that the Christian right actually got their precious little adolescent daughters to say to their freshly-scrubbed boyfriends, "Please, I want to remain pure for my wedding night, so only in the ass. And then I'll blow you." Well, at least these kids are really thinking outside the box.

From Bill Maher's New Rules:

i used 2 think that that was the ideal thing 2 do
but practically...


why wait?
if you're with someone that you love deeply, why not share it when you're both ready


marriage is nothing but a ring and a peice of paper (eventho i'm always daydreaming about having a nice wedding hyprocrisy sucks)

SammiJ said:

marriage can be far more then that ...it is exactly what you make it...

Mach said:

you're right
it is more of a committment
but all the marriages i've witnessed in my life haven't all gone too well

but i'm hopeful one day...one day...
i'll be some man's wife

i don't think anyone should have sex ever, for any reason. how about that?

Anxiety said:

if prince were still stuck on nasty, he'd be crying right now.

BSK3478 said:

i thought only special women made him cry.

does not compute!

just a fancy term for mind games?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

No, it's a beautiful thing. No one is entitled to sex simply because they're human and/or dating

I think it's worth it to find out if you're sexually compatible w/ your mate.

I think it's a good way to gamble on your marriage Being married is hard enough - add a whack sex life to it & the shit is surely doomed.

I think it's a good way to gamble on your marriage Being married is hard enough - add a whack sex life to it & the shit is surely doomed. I think it's worth it to find out if you're sexually compatible w/ your mate. Who needs to add sexual frustration to the list of shit to work on?

CalhounSq said:

Just because it's wack doesn't mean it will stay wack. You should be working together as a couple to have a better sex life. You don't just take it as it is. If you do, what does that say about you?

Janfriend said:

True, partners should work to improve their sex life together. But sometimes one wants something the other just isn't into.