Got a question? Ask Ace!

Why did you start this stupid, stupid thread?

Are you living off of Byron's scraps now?

Nero said:

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Sincerely,

Ace's Question Thread Support

Ace said:

[Edited 9/13/05 14:32pm]

Is your real name Ace? If so, dude.

Number23 said:

Dear Mr. Number23:

Thank you for your submission of a smiley face.

Unfortunately, at this time, we are not accepting unsolicited submissions. As you have not included an S.A.S.E., I am sorry to inform you that we cannot return this smiley face to you.

Thank you for your interest,
Ace's Question Thread Support

Number23 said:

Dear Mr. Number23:

We have forwarded your letter to Mr. Ace. Please note we cannot guarantee that Mr. Ace will have time to respond to your letter.

Thank you for your interest,
Ace's Question Thread Support
[Edited 9/13/05 15:34pm]

Ace said:

Is it true that if men take steroids their dinky's shrink?

Nero said:

Dear Ms. Nero:

Thank you for your interest in Ace's Question Thread.

While we endeavour to respond to as many questions submitted to the thread as possible, unfortunately it is simply not feasible to answer each and every one.

Should you have any further questions in the future, please feel free to submit again.

Best,
Ace's Question Thread Support

CarrieLee said:

Dear Ms. Lee:

Thank you for your letter.

I can tell you with absolute certainty that Mr. Ace does not take steroids, but he has told me that he did hear Jose Canseco's ex-wife say that they made Mr. Canseco's testicles shrink (this was on The Howard Stern Show, I believe). I am not sure if this applies to "dinky's" as well.

I hope this answers your question for you. If you have any others, please don't hesitate to ask.

Best,
Ace's Question Thread Support
[Edited 9/13/05 14:51pm]

Number23 said:

Dear Mr. Number23:

I have forwarded your question to Mr. Ace and he replies as follows:

"No, 'Ace' is not my real name. I've always wondered, though: Is 'Number23' Number23's real name?"

Best,
Ace's Question Thread Support

Ace said:

Thanks for the info, it makes sense that people who take steroids have no balls!


Now my next question is, why do men pay for prostitutes?

ace... whatever happened to those tapes of your security camera escapades??

CarrieLee said:

Dear Ms. Lee:

Taken from the F.A.Q.:



We hope this satisfies your curiousity and please feel free to submit any further questions you might have.

Best,
Ace's Question Thread Support

Do you miss "One Day at a Time" as much as I do?

Probably not, but I figured I'd ask anyway.

Anxiety said:

ha, yoo're the mohdehatoh.....ah'm the gohvahnahtoh!!!!! ja!

emm said:

Dear Ms. Emm:

We were quite intrigued by this question ourselves, so we immediately forwarded to Mr. Ace. His reply is below:

Ahnold said:

that was quite insightful. thank you for that.

Anxiety said:

ja....ah might cruhsh yoo when ah hug yoo bahck.....

Anxiety said:

Dear Mr. Anxiety:

While to the best of my knowledge Mr. Ace was never an ardent follower of One Day at a Time, I can tell you that he did tune in from time to time and had a childhood crush on Mackenzie Phillips (who, incidentally, was deflowered by her father's friend, Mick Jagger, when Papa John made the mistake of leaving Mr. Jagger home alone with his young daughter one day).

Your business is important to us. Please let us know if there is anything else we can do for you.

Best,
Ace's Question Thread Support

Ace said:[quote]

CarrieLee said:

Wow, this is incredible! So based on your information, is it safe to assume that if a person is taking steroids and picking up prostitutes they have major issues in life and should seek professional help?

CarrieLee said:

Dear Ms. Lee:

Your latest inquiry has been flagged "Invitation to Enter into a Pissing Match Already in Progress" and forwarded to Customer Relations.

We wish you all the best with this competition.

Sincerely,
Ace's Question Thread Support

Ace said:

I was just askin'

Can Janelle take Big Brother 6?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Dear Mr. Sexy:

All of us here at Ace's Question Thread are desperately hoping that Janelle can triumph over the Nerd Herd in this competition.

Should she make it to The Final Two, she will have to hope that:

a) it is alongside Ivette and

b) April's gullibility endures and she throws a vote Janelle's way out of spite.

Ultimately, we find it unlikely. But we can dream, can't we?

Best,
Ace's Question Thread Support

How long is a piece of string?

how much wood could a woodchuk chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

LleeLlee said:

Dear Ms. Llee:

Thank you for your inquiry.

As a "piece" is "a thing considered as a unit or an element of a larger thing, quantity, or class; a portion", one could argue that there is no definitive answer to your question.

We, on the other hand, believe the answer to be 8".

We hope this satisfies your curiousity.

Best,
Ace's Question Thread Support

ella731 said:

Dear Ms. 731:

Thank you for submitting your question to Ace's Question Thread.

As we are based in an urban environment, frankly we don't give much thought to woodchucks. But - since you've asked - we would hazard a guess that this would depend upon the size of the woodchuck.

Should you have any non-woodchuck-based questions, we would be glad to answer them!

Best,
Ace's Question Thread Support