Ok, this is something that hit me last winter:

I've known some women who are "scared" to drive when it rains or snows, so they have their husbands or boyfriends or fathers or some male person drive them. But I never have known a GUY who is afraid to drive, have you? Do you think there are some, but they are too embarrassed to admit it? Why do some women give in to their fears about driving rather than try it and, when they do a great job, congratulate themselves and feel empowered that they overcame their fears?

Also, I know some women--usually my mom's age or older--who just automatically give the keys to their husbands to do the driving whenever they go somewhere. They don't even think about it, it's just a given. The woman only seems to drive if the man gets exhausted and needs to sleep. If you're in a relationship and you're going somewhere together, is there one of you who does the driving?

Just wonderin'.....

Interesting... I've never thought about it. I admit, I hate to drive in the snow or in the rain, and really, I don't even like to drive after dark. But none of those things stop me, however. But then, compared to certain drivers I know, sometimes I'd rather be at the wheel.
Of course, if given the choice in the best of conditions, I'll almost always relinqish my keys. I'm not much for driving. It's fun once in a while if I don't do it often, but overall, I prefer to be driven.
[Edited 9/9/05 14:25pm]

I run a lot and I have often pondered why whenever I see a 2 person bike out on teh trails the man is always on the front of the bike. It's obviously a control issue as they get to steer but it would actually make more sense to have the bigger person in teh back because they could see over the smaller woman.

As for driving. I always tend to drive but that is probably because I have a nicer car then Amy.

As for snow or rain...I avoid it whenever possible and am not embarrassed to admit it although I have no real fear of doing it.

CarrieMpls said:

Hi, Carrie!

You know I'm constantly noticing gender-differences stuff, and one of those that seems to come up over and over again is the driving issue. So many guys either love driving or seem not to have any fears surrounding it, while women seem to view it as a scary thing or an inconvenience/necessary evil.

Maybe because I don't live with my man, and because there were/are no other options, I just have always done what I need to do. I think older middle class women are really used to being taken care of that way--it's how it was when they were growing up, what they saw with their parents and "everyone" else.

lovemachine said:

I know women who are truly afraid, though, whereas (like you) most guys don't necessarily like driving in bad weather but they aren't paralyzed by it and asking someone else to do it for them.

Obviously, in a cultural sense, it is far more accepted for a woman to admit weakness/fear and ask for help. I wonder if guys want to ask for help driving, to not drive all of the time, but are afraid to show this need?

I just had a situation that forced me to confront my fear to drive in certain situations.
I live in Florida and I have to drive with lots of traffic, old ppl, out of staters and rain.
I recently went to rural P.A. for a wedding. My husband & his brother got drunk so that left me to drive. I had to drive very late at night on curvy, hilly roads in the rain. On top of that I had two drunk passengers. One of the drunk passengers lives there so he was giving me directions. He kept me on every small back road which really pissed me off and I had my husband ragging on me the whole time because I was driving too slow. It was 40 miles back to my brtoher in laws house in the middle of nowhere...
I was nervous before we left and it quikly turned into anger and frustration. I cannot see well or judge distance in the dark so I had to take it slow on the wet, dark, hilly roads. Needless to say they wanted to stop at the bar by his house for one more beer. I was so pissed off by then, I was ready to dump them off there but I did not know how to get back from there.
It was very stressful and a little encouragment would have gone a long way in that situation but consideration goes out the window when some men are drunk. I survuved the situation but I am still pissed that my husband made the comment that my driving sucked in front of his brother.
We all made it home safely and in one piece. Considering they had no other options beside sleeping outside where the reception was, they should have been thankful!

If we take my car I drive to, and he drives from.

If we take his car he drives, because I do not know how to drive
a standard.

shanti0608 said:

That sucks that they gave you shit. Drunks, sheesh

AnotherLoverToo said:

OK, first I have to tell you I know where you got your sig from and the second I read it (last week or so) I almost put it in as my own signature.

And yeah, I see what you're saying. I think maybe it is a fear of admitting weakness, kind of like the standard of guys not being able to ask for directions. My grandmother never drove a day in her life. But it's become necessary for most, in most parts of the US, at least. My favorite was NOT having a car for about 5 years. I enjoyed walking and taking my time to get places on the bus when I had to. And it was nice that I nver had to drive anywhere. But now that I've got a car, I've become used to the comfort/efficiency.

CarrieMpls said:

How funny! We must read the same magazines! But the embarrassing thing is that I don't even remember the article details, I've become too saturated with reading materials to retain anything anymore.

It's funny you mention this. With the last two cars I bought, they came with Roadside Assistance. But I refused to ever use it because I'd feel like a total sissy.

Weather doesn't bother me at all when driving, but I do get really (REALLY) frustrated with bad drivers (crawling down the street, driving between lanes, slamming on the brakes, can't make up their mind where they're going and cut me off...) and for that reason alone, I'm more than happy to let someone else drive my car. Especially on long trips.

I never have a problem driving in any weather. As for winter time, drive slower, don't be in a hurry and give yourself plenty of travel time.

I hate to drive and i will not drive if the weather is bad unless i absolutely have to. the interesting thing is that I will more willingly hand my keys over to a man than a woman. i'm not quite sure why that is. maybe it's because men offer to drive more often than women. the only man i know hwo doesn't mind being chauffered is my father. he is more than happy to let me or anyone else drive him around. go figure.

I like driving a lot. I must admit that stress-driving in very bad
weather or on very busy days is a bit more difficult for me now as
I've quit smoking and normally I'd just light up a ciggy in those
circumstances and cop out. Now I just munch on a bag of sweets and
wish the other drivers or the weathergods a slow, merciless death
-which helps greatly to relieve stress hehehe.



The best driving weather is spring dawn, that's just magical! The
worst is heavy snowfall in winter when you can't even see what's
going on at the side of your car. That's scary sometimes especially
on busy highways. Not being able to see more than 5 feet is just
not pretty.



and another thing:

I'm not sure about the other members of the org gay mafia hehe, but
I've noticed, over the years, that a large percentage of gay men do
not have a driver's license. That's pretty weird.

Every single guy I've met and gotten to know better (not talking in
covert terms of "fucked", just generally known ok lol) did not have
a driving license.



And that's pretty frustrating, when you're always the one who has
to do all the driving wherever you decide to go. Especially if you
go to parties or on long journeys, you can never just relax and do
the whole "enjoy the scenerey" bit of a holiday drive since you're
always watching bloody insane road rage drivers LOL.



Anywho. My current boyfriend does have a drivers license and it's a
real novelty for me to be able to just sit next to him and have him
do the driving. We just take turns whenever we go on long trips, he
drives one time I drive the next and that's excellent since you get
to just chill and look out the window and stuff.



I was like "wow, there are trees along the highways?"

I guess the advantage of two men driving is also that there's never
a problem with reading the map (since we all know women cant read a
map)

lovemachine said:

I personally prefer Dean to drive because when I drive I can tell it makes him nervous which in turn makes me nervous. I'd much rather just be comfortable.

RaspberryWoman said:

The truth is revealed, Dan, it's not the nicer car!

I wonder if there's some sort of female genetic tendency to fear this sort of thing (driving or other mechanical stuff) or if it's socialized. Probably a combination....

IstenSzek said:

Interesting! Now I'm starting to wonder if gay men and straight women have yet another bond: an aversion to driving when a(nother) guy is there to do it for them?!

Congratulations on quitting smoking! But, yeah, it's been 6 yrs since I quit and I still miss it sometimes. For the truly addicted, I don't think that ever goes away.

i drive ... snow ice rain dark...whatever

i also do most the driving with family travel

i love driving

8 times out of ten i will say ... i do the driving over my husband

i dont give up they keys easy

AnotherLoverToo said:

I had her drive to most of the way to Milwaukee for me and to the Marathon in Duluth in my car so I'm not that all that bad.

But she drives a KIA so maybe it is the nicer car thing