It's my last semester of college and I am taking an English course taught by a professor who seems to hate me.

I am a quiet person, and I am generally quiet in my classes, although I do usually participate (enough not to be assumed mute, at least).

I do not participate in this particular course because the professor has made the classroom very uncomfortable for me.

One day, he stopped his lecture and asked me if I spoke French. When I replied that I didn't, he said that I looked like somebody who spoke French. Ok, whatever.

A couple of days later, he asked to use me in a sentence example, and proceeded with the following: "I worry about her intellectual development because she is so quiet."

This has been punctuated by rude comments on how I'm so shy and quiet, directed at me in a generally condescending tone.

I dread the class, and have been humiliated enough.

I want to go talk to him, but I don't know what to say, and I don't want to jeopardize my grade. Also, I don't want him to call me out in class and talk about how I have expressed how uncomfortable I am.

Part of me wants to stand up for myself, but another part just wants me to sit through the semester, attempt to participate as best as I can, and take his abuse.

I'm a pretty sensitive person, but until now, no professor has ever made me cry. A classmate of mine even commented on how often he singles me out.

What do you guys think?

that is awful, and he has no right to do that.

is there any other english course you could switch to?

Just bite your lip and do your best in the class, then when the semester is over trash him on the review.

Dealing with mean teachers is just part of the whole college experience. They're not all gonna be your best friend. You just gotta learn how to adapt, and get the most out of the course.

He's obviously in love with you

I'm with Tom, just bite the bullet for now. When it's over, address it fully and with him, that way, it's done the right way.

Maybe that's his crude way of trying to get you to open up? Flip the script on him and talk all through class, see how he reacts. He's just playing on your insecurity. And as Pando said, he's obiviously in love with you.

evenstar3 said:

It's too late to drop the course, and because it's my last semester, I need it NOW in order to graduate on time. I'm late graduating as it is!

Tom said:

I've dealt with plenty of asshole teachers, but I've never before dealt with one that blatantly disrespects me.

PANDURITO said:

PANDURITO said:

Yep...I agree

I've dealt with this before,but it wasn't this bad.
I confronted the person
[Edited 9/9/05 17:08pm]

sinisterpentatonic said:

I think you're right. It's just so hard for me to talk in class when that kind of atmosphere has already been established. I'm on defense mode now and I'm withdrawing more and more. He's made it incredibly difficult for me to be open, and I think that's his objective.

I will try to ask more questions, even if I know the answer...all of my classmates are sophomores or juniors and haven't taken the other English courses that I have, so a lot of them ask many questions because they are confused on things like parts of speech, etc. For me, it's pretty straightforward, and that's part of the reason I don't talk a lot. I waited too long to take this class.

ThreadCula said:

... Other people I've talked to about this have suggested that it's his sick/weird way of flirting with me. There are definitely other girls in the class that are as quiet as me or even more so. But he doesn't say anything to them. It's really annoying.

What really offended me was his "intellectual development" comment, because that's just a euphemism for "stupid." After he said that, I had to bite my lip from crying for the rest of the class period. Now I'm hitting myself for not saying something right then and sticking up for myself.

I'm very non-confrontational, but I feel like this situation has come to a head. I get very nervous before talking to someone who has more authority than I do. How did you handle your confrontation? How did the person handle it?

thescandalouslife said:

Yes i think he's making these statements to get u to notice him...

In my situation...
I went to him a few hours before class and I told him I'd appreciate it if he didn't call me out in class. He made up some bogus excuses and said it wasn't a bad thing,Im a great person...blah blah. But he said he wouldn't do it anymore

During class,he made a whole speech about how people influence others, and he made a very loud statement about how one shouldn't let their friends persuade them to do things...while looking at me and my best friend who was in the class also.

i was had an english professor ask me to make him some banana nut bread. i didn't know what to do 'cuz if i didn't i knew i would end up with a bad grade. so i just went ahead and made it laced it with hash.

In my high school Latin class, the teacher picked on his favorites. He'd say stuff like, "Judas Priest, that's the dumbest answer I've ever heard!" or "Judas Jenny, where did you come up with that?!"

He always did it to the quieter, meeker ones I think because he knew the others of us would shoot back with something.

My suspicion is that he likes you and thinks he can get you to "open up" this way. He thinks he's doing you a favor by singling you out for attention and views it as a good-natured joking rather than picking on you. I'm sorry that it's affecting you and I hope you get through it successfully, with as little damage as possible.

thescandalouslife said:

I would talk to him after or before the class. He is not supposed to get students to participate in class by humiliating them, he should know better than that, damn. Some students are self conscious about speaking up in a classroom setting and he should encourage them by asking them questions (and use various teaching methods that will facilitate this) but also not focus too much on them or make them feel exposed and therefore vulnerable.
Talk to him and tell him how you feel.

go to the dean and complain...students have rights too and shouldn't be humilated into participating in class. Even if the dean does nothing, at least you know that you took matters into your own hands and did what you thought was right by telling someone about you experience that obviously bothers you. Teachers don't have the right to treat students like they are paying us to take their class when we don't.

sinisterpentatonic said:

AnotherLoverToo said:

Thank you.

I also think that he's trying to get me to talk more by doing this, but he says these things in a very malicious, attacking tone so my defense mechanism is to not say anything at all.

LleeLlee said:

Thanks. The only concern I have about talking to him is that he's so difficult for me to deal with that I don't really know what to say, and how to say it in a way that won't give him another avenue through which to attack me. I also don't want to hurt my grade in the class, as lame as that may sound. I have a feeling, too, that if I do go talk to him, he'll mention it to the class and make a joke of it. He really is that kind of professor.

Maybe it's the professor's way of asking you to speak up more often? Those comments seem geared at infuriating you into participating. Just start piping up more often, try that for awhile.

If that doesn't work, then go visit him and ask him what it is he wants. Ask him if it's intention to make you feel humiliated.

As for being afraid he'll announce that in front of the class, who gives a fuck all? It's your last semester. Those people don't matter. Neither does that cunt.

missfee said:

If it gets worse, I will talk to the department head or to my advisor. But I'll wait 'til the semester is over so that I don't get my grade fucked with and so I don't get in a whole lotta muck that I'm sure is involved in such a complaint. As of now, I don't feel like it's something to take to the dean, but it is definitely a problem.

Nero said:

You're right. I'll probably try this. I don't even know any of those kids in my class.

thescandalouslife said:

I saw the other bits you said about how there's girls who speak less. I agree that this is not a good way in which to get you to participate in the class, and I'd probably be beyond pissed. Humiliated, no, but certainly pissed off. Anyway, perhaps his excuse for that can be that you have more potential. Defend how smart you are, if you must. Just start saying stuff.

If it doesn't improve or gets worse, like I said, go to him at office hours or what not and tell him you don't appreciate it, and ask him his motives. If he gives you an answer you don't like, take all that pent up humiliation and explode.

And if you don't know those kids, it sure doesn't matter. GO FOR IT! Defend yourself, young lady!

thescandalouslife said:

Is there anybody you can talk to about this at your college? student services? they will be on your side and it might help if you talk to somebody and ask them how best to approach this problem. They could also be present when you talk to him if you feel uncomfortable doing it alone. Personally, I think it might even be better to have a third party present just to make sure there are no misunderstandings and they can act as a witness should you decide to take it further. I'm pretty sure he will cork it once he realises you take this seriously.

Does he only do this 2 you?

See...da thing is here, is dat as an experienced lecturer...he needz better interaction skillz himself- 2 b using strange kinda bullying tacticz 2 make you speak up as such.

This remindz me of an experience I had early in highschool- my first year 2 b precise! And 2 cut a slightly long story short, she picked on me every single class- humiliating me and consequently I use 2 come home crying cause i'd never felt so degraded- especially by a teacher. She kinda scared da crap out of me 2 Anywayz, over time she warmed 2 me- whatever sorta 'preconcieved' notionz she had had about me- for whatever reason it may have been (that she'd had them in the first place ) had melted away when I had her for home room teacher da year after- and she finally kinda 'got'me i guess ....itz kinda hard 2 explain without goin in2 detailz but eh.

Look, it MAY be his teaching style- who knowz, but truly I think ya gotta talk 2 him. You know, make your point, yet be polite...i'm sure he'll appreciate dat you have confronted him in da first place (especially if he is a real bully) and it may prevent him from singling you out.

Having said all this- if class-participation is a requirement, if speaking up dauntz you, just keep thinkin 'i need 2 kick ass' think about aiming 2 clock up as much markz as you can where you can- treat it like a game for yourself!

Good luck!!

Thanks, guys.

I feel much better, even just knowing that I'm not being too sensitive and blowing this out of proportion!

lilmissmissy said:

His delivery makes him come across as an asshole in general, but yes, he only picks on me to that extent. I mean, he will pick on other people, but he laughs about it and makes a joke of it. When it comes to me, he is not laughing. And he has never called anyone else stupid, or lacking in "intellectual development."

I think that part of the reason he's doing it is because I've received several English dept. scholarships. Because he's on the English faculty, he knows this. I think he's trying to test me. Regardless, it's wrong, and it's unfair.

In college I had a deeply sarcastic English Teacher, but the thing is he was like that with everyone. He was hilarious and much of it was harmless. We used to call him Trotsky because he had a goatee and thats what he looked like. I'm sure he knew..

thescandalouslife said:

It's only my opinion...But I would take the issue up now..

It is obviously affecting you and no one should feel isolated and victimised...especially when it has a bearing on your future..

Put yourself first and tackle the issue now ....

And best of luck with your studies

(concentrate on the work...not the person presenting it)