you may have mean't it at the time, and thought that you were absolutely right by doing or saying something that shouldn't have happened, yet you regret it still. What do you do to make things right? Do you apologize even though you feel that you shouldn't apologize for how you felt or feel at the time, just how things came about? Or do you just forget about it and move on??

I know some will say, it depends on whatever the regretful act was...no i'm not talking about cheating..i'm talking about petty arguements about nothing, or emotions that were bottled up inside and once they are out, come out in the wrong way that offends or upsets someone..how did you make it right?

i think the first step is not to fixate over it. once you can put it into perspective and realize life might indeed go on, then you can start thinking rationally about how to make things right.

or so i've found, anyway.

Normally it goes something like this.


"I'm sorry, Anxiety, I should not have done that. I feel so dirty."


Then I hug them.

Anxiety said:

easier said than done

nilegettolrahc said:

i know.

Anxiety said:

see thats the thing that i do wrong, I tend to think about and think about and think about it until i've driven myself batty. then thats when the guilt comes in and then i beat up on myself a while until i figure things out. i think i beat myself up too much over petty stupid things that i wish i had never said or done, it takes me a couple of days to get over it.
[Edited 9/6/05 17:50pm]
[Edited 9/6/05 17:51pm]

Anxiety said:

I hate it when there are some really bad things, that when you think of them even years later, still give you that hot and prickly feeling creeping up the back of your neck

nilegettolrahc said:

ugh, i know.

and the older i get, the more of those i have.

If it's something small and insignificant, I use my best Beavis voice and say "Umm...sorry about that. Thank you, drive through!"

TMPletz said:

I regret nothing, shit happens fuck it.

Unfortunately for me...the regret doesn't kick in until much later, after I've had time to contemplate the situation and realize just how wrong I was. By then it's too late to do anything about it, so I beat myself up over it for days and days and days afterwards.

Anxiety said:

it's not a very Leo-like trait though is it?

nilegettolrahc said:

just cuz i'm prideful doesn't mean i lack conscience.

I tend to try to confuse the issue with elaborate wordsmithery and a horribly tendentious manipulation of context so that I might make whatever was said or done seem less straight-forward and less obviously worthy of reproachment.

Its happens to all of us...we are blind sometimes...then we see the truth.

Forgive Yourself!


Very very important.

missfee said:

you sincerely apologize

Just apologize. We all have our days

missfee said:

well i admit i was wrong and apologize as much as i hate to be wrong.

I don't understand the question. Regret...?

I don't say things I regret...everything I say is sincere to my core, or I won't say it. I'm not the type to get caught up in the emotion of the moment and say whatever it is I'm feeling or thinking at that moment. Words mean everything to me...perhaps too much sometimes, because I tend to believe everyone else is the same way. It effects me deeply when I realize very few people are.

..
[Edited 9/7/05 16:47pm]

I listen to St Etienne.





Without beforehand thinking,
sometimes I say things.
I could never hate you.
I could never hate you.
I do not mean one
word of what I say.
I don't hate you.
I don't, I do not.
Let's kiss and make up,
let's kiss and make up.
Let's you and I
kiss and make up.
Let's kiss and make up,
let's kiss and make up.
Let's you and I
kiss and make up.
Without beforehand thinking,
sometimes I say things.
I could never hate you.
I could never hate you.
I do not mean one
word of what I say.
I don't hate you.
I love you.
Let's kiss and make up,
let's kiss and make up.
Let's you and I
kiss and make up.
Let's kiss and make up,
let's kiss and make up.
Let's you and I
kiss and make up.
Let's kiss and make up,
let's kiss and make up.
Let's you and I
kiss and make up.
Let's kiss and make up,
let's kiss and make up.
Let's you and I
kiss and make up.

Depends if the other person is above reproach, which rarely happens to anyone but Byron.

To someone who has asked for your forgiveness in the past :

"I let the emotions get the best of me. If I didn't care at all, I would probably not have done anything of consequence. But I care and because of it I was, irony of ironies, careless. Please forgive me and I promise I'll think before I talk the next time."

To someone who is always measured and proper.

"I'm sorry. Very sorry. In fact, sorry doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. I was emotional and mean. My whole family might as well be italian the way we always fought like this, but you know we always forgive each other and I hope you'll do that for me, for our friendship."

Aerogram said:

Sheddup...lol

But in complete honesty, surface emotions don't dictate what I say to another person...I know, I'm some irritating freak of nature, I can compartmentalize with the best of them, take your pick...but everything I say when it comes to what I think or how I feel, I do mean. You won't be questioning it a week or so later.

The last time I was disingenuous with how I felt, I told my gf "I love you" even though I didn't...we ended up married. She loved me, I didn't love her...and you can't take those words back without causing a deeper hurt than not saying it to begin with.

Get drunk!

Byron said:

For sure, you have to be careful who you tell those three little big words. I try to never say them unless I mean them, and those who say them to me have to be pretty convincing. Sometimes I'll meet someone who'll be like "I love you!" after two or three meetings, and you have no idea how much I hate that.

What surprises me is that you seem to have a complete command of yourself, while some days I'm a stranger to myself. I honestly don't know how I truly feel about some things. Sometimes what I don't like I end up loving, and vice versa. I kind of like it that way -- total knowledge of self is not for me unless I enter a buddhist monastery or something.