Hello bipeds.

I realize that we have had some disagreements over the time I have been a member of your Prince.Org. I said some things, you said some things. I said cows were the superior species and that humans were dunderheaded, murderous caretakers who were driving us all to ruin. You said...well, I forgot but I'm sure it was something mean and nasty about cowkind. Well, water under the bridge. I am a kinder and gentler Cow.

Having spurned my right to the cow throne, I have been chilling in Cancun for the past couple or months. I have had many drunken nights and a few one-night flings here and there. The bulls down here are all so charming and debonaire but you give it up and, the next day, they're still just as gone as American bulls. Which brings me to my request. I need a good bull who will treat me right.

If you know any hard-working, reliable, honest bulls out there please let me know. I'm talking about a bull who will talk, discuss his plans and vision of the future. I don't want to hear some bull go on and on about how many asses he kicked at Pamplona last year. I want one who can communicate and who also cares about what I have to say. One who will listen. And, not for nothing, some foreplay would be nice. I can get down with some mounting just like any other hot-blooded American cow but you know some gentle nuzzling and body rubbing might be nice. But I am realistic, I know how bulls are.


Send suggestions, pictures, whatever my way. This little cow is lonely and I am tired of replacing an empty pasture with empty nights of debauchery. Okay, actually the nights of debauchery are pretty awesome but I still want a bull who will make my heart go pitter-patter.

Thanks, bipeds!

www.pbr-now.com

Cow good for you for taking charge! my friend who advertised on the internet recently tied the knot with someone who responded to her advertisement. they will now live happily ever after. i hope. anyway if she can do it, so can you!

however, i'd like to warn you to really check the responses you receive. there are plenty of farmers, sheep and other barnyard animals out there who will masquerade as bulls in order to impress you. don't fall for that. in order to prevent the posibility of wolves in bulls' clothing i recommend that, when you meet a would-be-suitor for the first time, seize their horns and yank hard! hopefully the horns will remain attached. if they come off in your hooves, you will know they are part of a costume.

good ouck in your quest for love and fulfillment. i look forward to seeing your calves!

I know the Pamplona bulls got some big 'ol egos, but still, there are many other bulls in Spain, and that's really the place to find your life partner bull.

Go get 'em, Cow!!!!

QUE VIVA PARA SIEMPRE EL C.P.G.!!!!

http://www.cattleconnecti...l_stud.htm

Come to my spaceship to donate your body to higher-being science.

EvilGreenAlien said:

be patient if they breed there will be more for you to study

Raine said:

Or more of them to cook

jerseykrs said:

The guy who photoshopped this didn't even take the time to align the text with the sign.

jerseykrs said:

LisasBrush said:

I predict that they are gonna go all the way this year.

Teacher said:

Those professional bulls are so egotistical. All horn, no heart. Pass.

XxAxX said:

Good advice. Don't be surprised if I ask you to be human godmother to my calves down the line.

LisasBrush said:

I think I will go to Spain next. Cancun is exciting but I have exhausted this town as far as hot spots. If I find a bull in Spain, I would just want him more concerned about running into my arms (metaphorically speaking) than running on the streets after idiotic tourists.

Raine said:

Thanks for the tip but hard to get excited about bulls named Boogeyman and Cactus Juice.

EvilGreenAlien said:

I think no is my answer to that.

jerseykrs said:

What, a cow can't even look for love around here without getting criticized? This might be the worse thread today but doubtfully the worse thread ever.

Cow said:

Don't mind him, he's just mad cuz he stupidly kicked out Ella from his room and now he won't get any

EvilGreenAlien said:

Wow! That IS stupid!

Cow, we've had our differences in the past, but now that we've reached a peace accord, I have nothing but love for you. I wish you all the happiness in the world, and I hope you are able to find the bull of your dreams soon! may you raise a whole herd of happy little calves together!

Cow said:

And there you're wrong.... it IS without a trace of doubt THE worst thread ever on this here website.... I have NEVER seen a worse thread.... this is UNDOUBTEDLY the org's nadir.... High time for the moderators to do a re-think....

how about red bull, he is guaranteed to have plenty of energy

JediMaster said:

Thank you for your heartfelt wishes. I am delighted that our former violent dislike has grown into a mutual fondness. It gives me hope for the future, where cows and humans can co-exist peacefully and without strife.

Now back to my bull search...

MartyMcFly said:

You obviously haven't spent a whole lot of time around here...

Cow said:

i would be udderly honored to serve in that capacity!!! keep me posted on your quest for true love

MartyMcFly said:

whoa! SOMEone sounds just a little backed up there!
here Marty. check out this link:

Cow said:

a day when bipeds and quadrupeds live together in peace
my faith is restored

JediMaster said:

Hey.... watch it newbie....

MartyMcFly said:

If I weren't so hungover right now, and also filled with love for my fellow creatures great and small, I would tell you to come a little closer when you say that so that you could get a nice hoof sandwich. But, as it is, I am hungover and filled with love so I will let it roll off my beautiful hide.