I provide for myself and my daughter,who is 10, 100%. I pay all of the bills in my household. Her father is not around at all. My boyfriend has an arrangement with his ex in regards to how much he gives their son each month. They have a vague court order which states they have 50/50 shared custody. She has not allowed their son to visit his father since she does not (I'm assuming here) want their son to have any decent relationship with me. She is remarried for the second time, and has another biochild and a stepson.
She called bf's cellphone yesterday, and he didn't answer it. He is tired of listening to her constant abuse, and has saved most of these vile messages she is forced to leave. Later in the afternoon, I was sitting close enough to him to hear his messages when he was listening to them. I distinctly heard something the BM said that has since had me fuming...

I heard..."And that little, fucking douchebag HAS a daddy, you have a son."

That's all I heard, and I'm pissed off. She has the nerve to call my daughter such a hateful and disgusting thing, and I can't do anything about it. I asked my bf what did she say? That little what?...pretending that I didn't hear it. He gave me some lie like it wasn't what I heard. He still doesn't know that I know, and I just want her to shut her fat mouth.

What do I do? Don't tell me that I have to be the bigger person, because I draw the line when it comes to my child.


What in the world would motivate an adult to say this about a child?

Want me to kick her ass for you?

sometimes people, usually children, not parents, forget that parents dont have to be mature and secure within themselves to bear children. this ex is obviously bitter about your man, you dont say how they split or how long ago it was but it doesnt appear to be very amicable. your bouyf, however, is obviously the better man in the picture because not only is he not rising to her bait, but hes trying to protect you from her too. He probaby guessed youd be angry and upset if you knew that she needlessly and without reason takes this out on you and your daughter.

Im sorry, but I think you DO just have to be the bigger person! At the end of the day, what can she actually do to your family? She cant intervene, or hurt you, and you have to protect your daughter from the fact that this person exists. i know its hard, but try to follow your boyfriends example and not rise to the bait. shes not worth it. she just wants attention and Im sure you dont want to give it to her!

Hope this helps!

I'm the psychotic ex.

youre just evil arent you, green alien!

susannah said:

Nope. Evil is my rank.

But I can be very gealous
[Edited 9/6/05 8:06am]

mdiver said:

Ahhhh, wouldn't that be nice, but no.

susannah said:

Ohhhh, it's a sordid tale indeed!!

Let's see, they divorced ten years ago when she was seeing his best friend behind his back and became pregnant. Apparently, she married the best friend, and the two of them used to terrorize my bf, with the new husband threatening to take his place as the father. This is ONE FUCKED UP individual who obviously needs some sort of mental health intervention.

Wow.

Well i say it again then, not worth it!! is so her problem. God I feel forry for the son! youre bfs obviously trying to keep you away from this sorry state of affairs, you should try keep away from it, its not worth your time wasted over worrying about her.

susannah said:

Thank you

back atcha

susannah said:

holy shit you are intelligent.

I am the psychotic ex.

Really, I can't see anything you CAN do in this situation. You can't make your boyfriend's ex be any less of an insane, rude bitch. And likely, any way you involve yourself will probably just make things worse. I suppose it's best left up to said boyfriend to handle and leave it at that.

Face's ex hated me, and used to make it a habit to show up during times she knew I was there and the kids weren't. Face and I would be eating breakfast and hear a knock at the door, and it'd be her, there to do something she could've done the next morning when he had to see her, like dropping off old homework of their kids so he could see it. She used to give me hateful looks the entire time, and I'd just smile and wave.



Sometimes, though rarely, heh heh, it's best to just keep one's mouth shut. Keep doing what you're doing. Take care of you and your own.

muirdo said:

Nero said:

You're right too. I can't help but want to imagine what it would be like to smash her face the fuck in for even speaking of my daughter like that, but I am above all that. She's a lowlife, and she knows it. A day in her life is one of collecting cows (she's fat, I don't get it, maybe she relates to the cow ), about seven broken down cars in the front yard of her rented home, backyard breeding of German Shepards, and get this.....plastic fucking flowers "planted" in the dirt in the front of her home. I KNOW I am a better person, and I should act accordingly. Still, there's the fantasy of beating her to a pulp.

lol, we all have fantasies of beating people like that to a pulp!! thats normal! we have to stay above it though. V hard i know. Go to kickboxing class or something!

I will never put myself in a position to deal with an ex again.

It just isn't worth the energy...

I have several Psychotic X's and marriage is the only way to exorcise the demons from the past.

I would only talk about what you heard with your man if you think it's necessary. He's only protecting you, but maybe it's better to tell him you heard what she said. To discuss things openly in a relationship is very important. If this is also important for you, discuss it.

But whatever you decide; don't worry about the shit she tells about you, your relationship or your daughter. She's having major probs, that's clear I guess. Don't accept the hatred, don't let if affect you.

mdiver said:

Me too!! I'll bring all my equipment!



wanted her dead right?


I just hate (and I do mean the word HATE) women like that...