Byron said:

That's right, you knows what I'm saying
Your mother's offered me the goods, I'm not paying.
It started as a laugh, as a bit of a joke
Something funny to say when I was having a smoke.
I first heard off this bloke, this fucking rumour going round
Your mother's reputation it's not sound
She's saving up the pennies hoping they'd turn into pounds
To have an operation to swap her gender around.

It's a shock to me and it's a shock to you
Your mother's got a beard, sandals and a penis too
It don't look right see, when she's walking down the street
To see her ball bag jiggin' to the beat of her feet

I said
Your mother's got a penis
Your mother's got a penis
Your mother's got a penis
That's right
Your mother's got a penis

In internet rooms and computer mainframes
There's loads of emails but your mother's blue veins.
Not the ones in her legs or the backs of her arms
But the ones in her member hidden in her gown.
She walks around proud, with a short dress on
Which sometimes exposes the tip of her dong.
Often it's dripping, sometimes it's dry
No matter when I see her there's a tear in my eye.
I thought I had to tell you, had to put it in a letter
But I thought fuck that I'd write a song in much better.
The only way to do it, to really let you know
I could prove it because I gave it a blow.
It was purely accidently because she got me really drunk
And she made me kiss her elephant trunk.
You know why? That's right
Your mother got a penis.

Your mother's got a penis (Your mother's got a penis)
Your mother's got a penis (Your mother's got a penis)
Your mother's got a penis (Your mother's got a penis, c'mon)

Beacuse I'm waiting for my boyfriend to get home and I've got nothing else to do.