ella731 said:

This should be it's own thread.....

pardonme4livin said:

CarrieMpls said:

Don't be silly. We won't think you're any less ladylike if you tell.

retina said:

But you don't know the story.

CarrieMpls said:

I'm not exactly easily shocked.

And only a true lady would be comfortable enough with herself to be able to tell such a story. (the pressure is on now ).

.

retina said:

Yea well I had to make up for that one

CarrieMpls said:

More wise people! We need more wise people!

Hurray for ladies and gentlemen!

I'm game.

About a year and a bit ago, N. and I were staying in a hotel in western Kentucky after we took off to do some exploring. We had the entire weekend to ourselves, and, what more would you like to do alone in a room with your boyfriend than shag? There was of course a problem. A little something I like to call "moon time." A little blood never hurt anyone, of course, but Face and I decided it best to wait.

By the last day of our great outtings, I had been blood free for a good 12+ hours. So, naturally, Face and I got straight to the point. After we were finished, and he rolled off of me, we realized it had been a false stop. The bed, my legs, his legs... It looked exactly as if he'd murdered me, instead of just had sex with me.

We showered it all off the best we could, and left the rest for the Indian owners to contend with.

___

Another weekend, we took off to western Kentucky again to the town of Bowling Green so we could watch State Marching Finals. Actually, I had to beg for him to come along and promise to pay his tickets.

Anyway, directly before we went to the stadium where the finals were held, we had sex. I suppose it was such that Face wanted to jizz in my mouth, because he suddenly pulled me up, but there was no time. Great gobs of semen were already flying through the air, almost, but not quite, smacking me in the face.

What you must understand about this is, Face goes on and on (and I'm inclined to agree) that jizzing on someone's face, unless by complete accident, is rather demeaning for the chick, and pointless all the way around. As such, when he nearly shot a load on me, I immediately started bitching, and he started trying to explain. When I realized he'd not been trying to do just that, I started calling it the Great Money Shot of 2004 and I laughed about it.

_____
I once laughed so hard after being on top, and Face whispered "harder!" that I had to stop what I was doing. I laughed a solid five minutes and this of course made it to where he was a bit limp for awhile.

____

Face once had some spermicidal trojan condoms he was using, and somewhere in the middle he stopped and said, "Rhonda, it's gone numb." I said, "What's numb?" "My penis. It's gone numb." The look of terror on his face was priceless. We stopped what we were doing, and I tried to play the part of the concerned girlfriend and help him wash the Jimmy in the bathroom, but I found myself sitting on the bed whilst he was in the other room, trying not to giggle too loudly.

After about 10 minutes, the feeling returned. He threw the rest of those away, though.

**I guess I don't really have anything all that embarrassing.

Nero said:

Is this the same guy? I remember when you were 16, now my dear is having sex!!!

sag10 said:

Heather said the same thing to me.

Same guy as opposed to what different one? Not the same as when I was 16, if that's what you mean.

Nero said:

Nick? Neal? I can't remember the name.



[Edited 8/23/05 8:33am]

sag10 said:

This fellow's called Noel. You can spy the bitch in my profile picture.

Anyway, I've got a new fellow now. But all those stories are from Noel.

Okay ya'll,I'll play Last nite as a matter of fact me n the hubbie were gettin' it on,I mean REALLY n 2 it,u know....well I was xtremely wet so he slipped out of me,but when I reached down to put him back n I SCRATCHED the SHIT out of his dick!!! I felt sssssooooo bad cuz I knew it had 2 hurt....nevertheless that kind of put a damper on the mood Later on 0)+>

I can include one of my legendary mishaps. This one time I was giving a guy a blow job. Well... whatever happened the force of him cumming and so much at one time I didn't get much time to swallow it all so the cum ended up coming out of my nose a little bit. It was highly embarassing.

I can look back and about it now though.

Nero said:

I've had the same experience .....Those condoms are evil.

and the best I can give ya is.... a few years ago my man and I were having some fun and I pulled on the curtian or blinds that were over a window near the bottom of the bed and the curtian rod and a chunk of wood came crashing down and the wood knocked my guy in the head and he started bleeding like mad....but we didn't stop be cause it felt to good.

Nero said:

I bet the cleaning lady screamed when she entered the room.

And maybe there's still a warrant for Noel's arrest in the state of Kentucky.



The horror!

You shouldn't have to play the part of the concerned girlfriend.

.

StaticDeth said:

solandsky said:

Why couldn't he put it back in himself?

Sweeny79 said:

Sounds like a good time, despite the incident. I love to be extremely caught up in the act like that.

ok, i'll play....

i was at a hotel... he was on top, i was grabbing at the headboard, apparently a bit to hard and pulled the whole damn thing off the wall it hit him in the head

we tried our best to keep up with what we were doing, but when we were done, we laughed till we cried !




oh what the hotel owners thought when they got there to clean that room up

retina said:

Well, I was a wee bit concerned, retina, but you know.... it's a wee bit too funny to get too upset about.

There are two words that incite laughter, embarassment, horror, and horniness in my bedroom....

Dick Hickey

The 'horror' was when he went in the bathroom and saw it. It went away after a few days.


Then there's the time on the futon bed. He was on top. Suddenly there was a loud cracking noise and my rear end was poking through a hole in the bed. Funny part was that he didn't even hear it and kept going! Out of fear of being impaled in the ass by a piece of wood I stopped him. Without missing a beat, he snatched the matress off the bed, put me on the floor and kept going.

Good times...

Well, well... Well.

Once, Face and I were having sex on my brother's futon while my brother and sister-in-law were gone to work. Things were going quite well, and we decided we didn't particularly want my brother to know we'd had sex there on his futon, so we put down a sheet, and decided to put the used condoms in a bag we would dispose of outside at the dumpster....

We accumulated four used condoms that afternoon, and we were working on the fifth, when, my brother's cat called BB jumped up on the futon, right on the side arm rest, and started licking Noel's face. He was disgusted, of course, so Face tossed the cat. We continued what we were doing.

Suddenly, we heard a rustling sound in the plastic bag beside the futon. I looked over, and saw BB's head inside the bag, and I was horrified to see her come out with, yes, a used condom in her teeth. I alerted Face, we stopped what we were doing, and tried to chase down BB to retrieve the condom.

Good times.

Gave up after that, gathered our stuff, threw the sheet in the wash, composed ourselves and went to dinner.

Nero said:

Nero, did you ever know that you are my hero?

Sweeny79 said:

No, but it warms my heart to know it now, Sweenster.

Give us a smooch.

oen time i was bottoming, i know hard to believe, and i told the guy to hold up a second i had to grab the poppers. he stopped for a second and than ended up knocking the poppers all over my face had some go up my nose and swallowed some.

Nero said:

One time I was going down on a guy and he was real sneaky about his gett off. He was so quiet I had no idea he was about to come. He came in my mouth and it was so powerful that it shot right out of my nose

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Are you a swallower, supa?