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Sexual mishaps Okay, for those of you who are inclined to say "too much information" to everything that's explicit, stop reading now.
To everyone else, I'd like to ask if you've experienced any interesting sexual mishaps aside from the usual "vaginal farts" and such? I was once having sex on a small island outside of Stockholm. We were standing on some rocks right by the water and I was taking her from behind. Suddenly, out of the blue, she lost her foothold on the rock and slipped towards the water. I instinctively grabbed on to what I was already holding, which happened to be her breasts. Of course that hurt so she gave out a yelp and we both slid into the water. It was bloody freezing too. But of course we ended up laughing at the whole thing. Another time I was sitting slightly leaned back and was jacking off. When I came it was with such incredible force that it landed on my face! I haven't even been close to shooting that far before or since so I was really taken aback. I don't even want to think of what it would have looked like if somebody had stepped into the room at that moment. So, any other stories? Don't be shy... | |
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retina said: Okay, for those of you who are inclined to say "too much information" to everything that's explicit, stop reading now.
To everyone else, I'd like to ask if you've experienced any interesting sexual mishaps aside from the usual "vaginal farts" and such? I was once having sex on a small island outside of Stockholm. We were standing on some rocks right by the water and I was taking her from behind. Suddenly, out of the blue, she lost her foothold on the rock and slipped towards the water. I instinctively grabbed on to what I was already holding, which happened to be her breasts. Of course that hurt so she gave out a yelp and we both slid into the water. It was bloody freezing too. But of course we ended up laughing at the whole thing. Another time I was sitting slightly leaned back and was jacking off. When I came it was with such incredible force that it landed on my face! I haven't even been close to shooting that far before or since so I was really taken aback. I don't even want to think of what it would have looked like if somebody had stepped into the room at that moment. So, any other stories? Don't be shy... | |
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beret1022 said: Participate or get off the thread you silly prude. | |
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. [Edited 8/23/05 8:10am] Fuck the funk - it's time to ditch the worn-out Vegas horns fills, pick up the geee-tar and finally ROCK THE MUTHA-FUCKER!! He hinted at this on Chaos, now it's time to step up and fully DELIVER!!
KrystleEyes 22/03/05 | |
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retina said: beret1022 said: Participate or get off the thread you silly prude. tell the story about how you and your girl were on a merry-go-round doing it when your girl let go and flew off the whirling platform, straight into the arms of the police who'd been called to invedstigate complaint of lewd public behavior. | |
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muirdo said: when i was about 20 my girlfriend and i were shagging on her living room floor,on a rug in front of those electrical bar fires.
Half way through the act her feckin dad walked into the living room.He started going absolutely fucking mental..."it's the bloody summertime there's no need for the fire to be up that high....blah blah blah" He was probably upset that you were having sex but didn't know how to articulate it, so he took it out on the bloody fire instead. oh and retina ive had to wipe it off the wall behind me sometimes.Dont cum just like that fight it for a while.
Yeah, I've noticed that too. The more the tease the bigger the blast, so to speak. Interesting. And thanks for participating. Major cool points for that! . | |
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XxAxX said: retina said: Participate or get off the thread you silly prude. tell the story about how you and your girl were on a merry-go-round doing it when your girl let go and flew off the whirling platform, straight into the arms of the police who'd been called to invedstigate complaint of lewd public behavior. It's not like all my girlfriends go flying in different directions when we have sex, you know. And you don't get usually get into trouble with the police for such things here in Sweden. They usually just think it's amusing. I once climbed the fence to a public pool in the middle of the night and had sex in the pool with a girl I was seeing at the time. When the guard found us, he just laughed and went to get towels for us. . | |
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. [Edited 8/23/05 8:11am] Fuck the funk - it's time to ditch the worn-out Vegas horns fills, pick up the geee-tar and finally ROCK THE MUTHA-FUCKER!! He hinted at this on Chaos, now it's time to step up and fully DELIVER!!
KrystleEyes 22/03/05 | |
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muirdo said: hers another one.....
I was giving oral pleasure to this girl one time that was fine.When i was done she turned round and we started having sex doggy style.I looked down to see how i was doing when i noticed that my wullie was covered in blood.She had her periods and she never feckin told me.Needless to say the moment was lost and i felt She didnt mean it though she said that they must have just started and i have pumped her since. Without incident. Yeah, blood isn't exactly a turn-on. But what you described can happen when they're at the end of it and think it's stopped too. That's happened to me. Also, when I was in my late teens I had sex with a girl who had only been with her ex boyfriend before. Just after we'd started there was lots of blood, which made me worried that I'd hurt her in some way. But it turned out (according to her) that her ex boyfriend's dick had been so small that it hadn't even broken her hymen. I heard stories about his small dick from other girls too after that, so I believe her. Poor guy. . | |
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I am offended by all these graphic sex stories | |
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Nikki23 said: I am offended by all these graphic sex stories
I bet you are. You're a good Irish catholic who wouldn't dream about pre-marital sex. | |
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Nikki23 said: I am offended by all these graphic sex stories
your avatar slightly offends me | |
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retina said: muirdo said: hers another one.....
I was giving oral pleasure to this girl one time that was fine.When i was done she turned round and we started having sex doggy style.I looked down to see how i was doing when i noticed that my wullie was covered in blood.She had her periods and she never feckin told me.Needless to say the moment was lost and i felt She didnt mean it though she said that they must have just started and i have pumped her since. Without incident. Yeah, blood isn't exactly a turn-on. But what you described can happen when they're at the end of it and think it's stopped too. That's happened to me. Also, when I was in my late teens I had sex with a girl who had only been with her ex boyfriend before. Just after we'd started there was lots of blood, which made me worried that I'd hurt her in some way. But it turned out (according to her) that her ex boyfriend's dick had been so small that it hadn't even broken her hymen. I heard stories about his small dick from other girls too after that, so I believe her. Poor guy. . thats quite funny! for him, not you of course! | |
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. [Edited 8/23/05 7:32am] | |
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retina said: Nikki23 said: I am offended by all these graphic sex stories
I bet you are. You're a good Irish catholic who wouldn't dream about pre-marital sex. Of course but you are so honest ,so many people reading your thread and not posting ..the only bad thing that ever happened to me was my ex came on my face and in my eye,it hurt so much i punched him. | |
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Nikki23 said: retina said: I bet you are. You're a good Irish catholic who wouldn't dream about pre-marital sex. Of course but you are so honest ,so many people reading your thread and not posting ..the only bad thing that ever happened to me was my ex came on my face and in my eye,it hurt so much i punched him. I would have loved to see that. "So, you think you can shoot my eye and get away with it? Think again. *SMACK!* " | |
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Nikki23 said: retina said: I bet you are. You're a good Irish catholic who wouldn't dream about pre-marital sex. Of course but you are so honest ,so many people reading your thread and not posting ..the only bad thing that ever happened to me was my ex came on my face and in my eye,it hurt so much i punched him. I punched my boyfriend I guess the other night. he was getiing home from a gig, like at 3am, I naturally was asleep for hours, he triedd to wake me up for some late night encounter I guess I decked him I dont remember | |
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. [Edited 8/23/05 8:11am] Fuck the funk - it's time to ditch the worn-out Vegas horns fills, pick up the geee-tar and finally ROCK THE MUTHA-FUCKER!! He hinted at this on Chaos, now it's time to step up and fully DELIVER!!
KrystleEyes 22/03/05 | |
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muirdo said: ella731 said: I punched my boyfriend I guess the other night. he was getiing home from a gig, like at 3am, I naturally was asleep for hours, he triedd to wake me up for some late night encounter I guess I decked him I dont remember so you are trying to tell us you gave him a good fisting? You naughty naughty man | |
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ella731 said: Nikki23 said: Of course but you are so honest ,so many people reading your thread and not posting ..the only bad thing that ever happened to me was my ex came on my face and in my eye,it hurt so much i punched him. I punched my boyfriend I guess the other night. he was getiing home from a gig, like at 3am, I naturally was asleep for hours, he triedd to wake me up for some late night encounter I guess I decked him I dont remember In what condition did you find him the next day? . | |
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I sneezed on someone while going down on them. Another time I got hiccups so bad while doing it I had to stop, killed the moment.
Usually, they'll get a little too into it, and say something really corny that makes me laugh so hard I can't finish. | |
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retina said: ella731 said: I punched my boyfriend I guess the other night. he was getiing home from a gig, like at 3am, I naturally was asleep for hours, he triedd to wake me up for some late night encounter I guess I decked him I dont remember In what condition did you find him the next day? . rather pissed off and bruised Hey if I was awake and meant to do it thats one thing, but I must have been dreaming something fierce | |
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Tom said: Another time I got hiccups so bad while doing it I had to stop, killed the moment.
Yeah, that would have been kind of annoying. Like a drunken bum going at it. "Oh baby you're *hiccup!* so sexy and bea...*hiccup!*...beautiful." | |
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retina said: Tom said: Another time I got hiccups so bad while doing it I had to stop, killed the moment.
Yeah, that would have been kind of annoying. Like a drunken bum going at it. "Oh baby you're *hiccup!* so sexy and bea...*hiccup!*...beautiful." | |
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ella731 said: Nikki23 said: Of course but you are so honest ,so many people reading your thread and not posting ..the only bad thing that ever happened to me was my ex came on my face and in my eye,it hurt so much i punched him. I punched my boyfriend I guess the other night. he was getiing home from a gig, like at 3am, I naturally was asleep for hours, he triedd to wake me up for some late night encounter I guess I decked him I dont remember I have been in that situation my ex worked nights and he would come home at 6am and try his luck but i'm not a morning person..but i never punched him ,but i'm sure i kicked him a few times | |
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ella731 said: rather pissed off and bruised
Hey if I was awake and meant to do it thats one thing, but I must have been dreaming something fierce I actually would have preferred a punch over a "not tonight, I have a headache". | |
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I have fallen off the bed before....ummm and on three seperate occasions I said I was gonna pull out...and lost count...have you guys met my kids | |
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Ex-Moderator | I actualy have a hilarious story, but I'm too much of a lady to tell.
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CarrieMpls said: I actualy have a hilarious story, but I'm too much of a lady to tell.
i am playing exactly the same game here im afraid! Sorry guys! | |
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pardonme4livin said: I have fallen off the bed before....ummm and on three seperate occasions I said I was gonna pull out...and lost count...have you guys met my kids
yea I have heard the rhythm method isnt so effective have you met my kid? | |
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