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Thread started 08/17/05 10:11am

ufoclub

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Does anyone here now take care of their parents?

My folks are getting old! My mother was talking about how they might need help keeping up with finances, health, etc in the next few years.

I guess it's part of life!
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Reply #1 posted 08/17/05 10:12am

Mach

yes ... it's part of life biggrin
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Reply #2 posted 08/17/05 10:19am

rachel3

Yes I take care of my 84 yr old Grandmother as my parents are dead and I am 37. I have been doing it for 13 yrs and I live with her. I handle all her medical and financial matters, as well as all the cleaning and cooking. Plus I work a full-time job too and have hobbies. I have to budget our money and my time very careful as there is never enough of the two.

I don't mind because she raised me and I will not see her in a Nusring home or with unscrupuolus family memembers who would rip her off like the did their own parents. This is why I am estranged from my Family since I was 12. Seen my Grandparents bend over backwards for them and they aint shit now.

Let their parents starve and do without medical care as well and they had no moeny to bury them when they died either.

My Grandmother wants for nothing and she is in excllent health, well fed and clothed and never had a bill collector call our house not one time!! She never put me in harms way and I will never put her in harms way either .
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Reply #3 posted 08/17/05 10:32am

sag10

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My mom is 82, although very healthy.

She still needs tender loving care.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections... unknown
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Reply #4 posted 08/17/05 11:22am

Anxiety

i currently don't, but i'm pretty certain i will be sometime in the next ten years or so. it's scary to think about, especially since i'm an only child and i'm not in touch with my father. when it's time to care for my mother, i'm pretty much on my own.
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Reply #5 posted 08/17/05 11:25am

Natisse

not exactly the same thing, but I left work to look after my Mum for 9 months before she passed on
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Reply #6 posted 08/17/05 11:26am

BucketOfBouncy
Balls

I love my mummy very much and I'll take great care of her when she gets older cause she did so much for me. Right now the only elderly in my family is my grandma...and shes a real pain in the ass. I mean not one of those elderly who are sweet and stuff shes just crazy. She likes to instigate and start problems. But its ok you know...she deserves all the love she can get...even if she hits me with the broom.
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Reply #7 posted 08/17/05 11:26am

Mach

Natisse said:

not exactly the same thing, but I left work to look after my Mum for 9 months before she passed on


hug

and in hind sight i might think it was a well worth while investment

rose
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Reply #8 posted 08/17/05 11:33am

SupaFunkyOrgan
grinderSexy

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I applaud anyone who takes care of their parents. It's only right. But be careful, someone I know is being investigated for murder because she was the caretaker of her mother and she died in her care. I'm not sure of the details but make sure you take care of them right.
2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740
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Reply #9 posted 08/17/05 11:36am

BucketOfBouncy
Balls

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I applaud anyone who takes care of their parents. It's only right. But be careful, someone I know is being investigated for murder because she was the caretaker of her mother and she died in her care. I'm not sure of the details but make sure you take care of them right.



its not like you are going to shake your parents to wake up....
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Reply #10 posted 08/17/05 11:37am

SupaFunkyOrgan
grinderSexy

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BucketOfBouncyBalls said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I applaud anyone who takes care of their parents. It's only right. But be careful, someone I know is being investigated for murder because she was the caretaker of her mother and she died in her care. I'm not sure of the details but make sure you take care of them right.



its not like you are going to shake your parents to wake up....


Hopefully not smile
2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740
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Reply #11 posted 08/17/05 11:38am

BucketOfBouncy
Balls

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

BucketOfBouncyBalls said:




its not like you are going to shake your parents to wake up....


Hopefully not smile



ever seen finding nemo? The part when the little girl shakes the bag "WAAAAAKE UP FISSSSHY!!!!!"


"WAKKKKKE UP MOMMMMMYYYYY!!!!!"
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Reply #12 posted 08/17/05 11:40am

REDFEATHERS

rachel3 said:

Yes I take care of my 84 yr old Grandmother as my parents are dead and I am 37. I have been doing it for 13 yrs and I live with her. I handle all her medical and financial matters, as well as all the cleaning and cooking. Plus I work a full-time job too and have hobbies. I have to budget our money and my time very careful as there is never enough of the two.

I don't mind because she raised me and I will not see her in a Nusring home or with unscrupuolus family memembers who would rip her off like the did their own parents. This is why I am estranged from my Family since I was 12. Seen my Grandparents bend over backwards for them and they aint shit now.

Let their parents starve and do without medical care as well and they had no moeny to bury them when they died either.

My Grandmother wants for nothing and she is in excllent health, well fed and clothed and never had a bill collector call our house not one time!! She never put me in harms way and I will never put her in harms way either .



I truly wonderful, kind hearted, well respected and upstanding person.. rose you know I love you ladybird..
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Reply #13 posted 08/17/05 11:43am

rachel3

ANX I Am an only child as well so to speak. I keep in touch with ElderCare centers to see the best way to care for my Grandmother. I took a nutrition class, cpr certified, took a medicine and health insurance class as well. All these things were free too. I took care ofr both prents when they were dying too, so I have been through this before, also help my Grandparents take care of other family memembers as well.

But after Gram-Gram I aint doing shit else!!! As i am tired and dont want to be bothered anymore.
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Reply #14 posted 08/17/05 11:54am

Anxiety

rachel3 said:

ANX I Am an only child as well so to speak. I keep in touch with ElderCare centers to see the best way to care for my Grandmother. I took a nutrition class, cpr certified, took a medicine and health insurance class as well. All these things were free too. I took care ofr both prents when they were dying too, so I have been through this before, also help my Grandparents take care of other family memembers as well.

But after Gram-Gram I aint doing shit else!!! As i am tired and dont want to be bothered anymore.


i understand! smile

my mom is fiercely independent, so something will REALLY have to be wrong for her to want me to take care of her...but her health isn't getting any better, so i can see the possibility coming up someday. i don't know that it will be the end of the world, but it will take a lot of adjustment and a lot of figuring out what to do, which is pretty scary. you have my respect!
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Reply #15 posted 08/17/05 12:43pm

Byron

I took care of my father for three months, and now my brother and sister and I are attempting to place him somewhere that can provide the care he truly needs for his mental and physical health. We all pool our resources together to make sure both my mom (who has her own place and is still sharp as a tack mentally) and my dad never want for anything...it can be draining, exhausting and even depressing at times. But it can also be hugely rewarding when you allow yourself to realize the realities of it all. There were times when I loved knowing I was truly providing my father a 'safe' place to be, especially with his paranoia issues. There were also times when he was like a small child all over again, and I felt like his parent...pretty profound experiences to say the least.
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Reply #16 posted 08/17/05 1:07pm

AndGodCreatedM
e

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Natisse said:

not exactly the same thing, but I left work to look after my Mum for 9 months before she passed on



hug I wish I could have done that for my mum before she passed away rose
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Reply #17 posted 08/17/05 1:14pm

Lizzy7701

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clapping @ this thread!!!

I can't understand why people refuse to take care of their parents when that times comes....They were the ones to bring you into this world...


BIG hug for everyone!!
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Reply #18 posted 08/17/05 3:23pm

DiminutiveRock
er

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ufoclub said:

My folks are getting old! My mother was talking about how they might need help keeping up with finances, health, etc in the next few years.

I guess it's part of life!


My brother and I have stepped up to help out my older parents in the recent months. Their independence is waning and they are relying on our help more and more these days. House repairs, shopping, finances, transportation - the whole thing.

It's totally a part of life... full circle. smile
VOTE....EARLY
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Reply #19 posted 08/17/05 3:24pm

DiminutiveRock
er

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AndGodCreatedMe said:

Natisse said:

not exactly the same thing, but I left work to look after my Mum for 9 months before she passed on



hug I wish I could have done that for my mum before she passed away rose



hug Petra!
VOTE....EARLY
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Reply #20 posted 08/17/05 3:25pm

DiminutiveRock
er

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Byron said:

I took care of my father for three months, and now my brother and sister and I are attempting to place him somewhere that can provide the care he truly needs for his mental and physical health. We all pool our resources together to make sure both my mom (who has her own place and is still sharp as a tack mentally) and my dad never want for anything...it can be draining, exhausting and even depressing at times. But it can also be hugely rewarding when you allow yourself to realize the realities of it all. There were times when I loved knowing I was truly providing my father a 'safe' place to be, especially with his paranoia issues. There were also times when he was like a small child all over again, and I felt like his parent...pretty profound experiences to say the least.


We've chatted about this on and off the Org hug Byron!
VOTE....EARLY
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Reply #21 posted 08/17/05 3:26pm

AndGodCreatedM
e

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DiminutiveRocker said:

AndGodCreatedMe said:




hug I wish I could have done that for my mum before she passed away rose



hug Petra!




hug thx sweetie rose
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Reply #22 posted 08/17/05 3:49pm

anniefannie

I help care for my Mother as she is mentally ill. She does do a lot on her own, but needs constant "watching" so that she doesn't miss-manage her funds or harm herself. It can be very demanding as I have four children and a husband of my own, but I would never shurk my responsibilities. She is my MOMMY!
"Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures." - Henry Ward Beecher
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Reply #23 posted 08/17/05 4:02pm

CarrieMpls

Ex-Moderator

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Lizzy7701 said:

clapping @ this thread!!!

I can't understand why people refuse to take care of their parents when that times comes....They were the ones to bring you into this world...


In a way, I hear what you're saying. But keep in mind, each individual's experience is different.
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Reply #24 posted 08/17/05 10:49pm

shellyevon

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Byron said:

I took care of my father for three months, and now my brother and sister and I are attempting to place him somewhere that can provide the care he truly needs for his mental and physical health. We all pool our resources together to make sure both my mom (who has her own place and is still sharp as a tack mentally) and my dad never want for anything...it can be draining, exhausting and even depressing at times. But it can also be hugely rewarding when you allow yourself to realize the realities of it all. There were times when I loved knowing I was truly providing my father a 'safe' place to be, especially with his paranoia issues. There were also times when he was like a small child all over again, and I felt like his parent...pretty profound experiences to say the least.

My father had Alzheimer's , we had to place him in a residence for his physical safety.This was the best thing we could have done for him. The staff were wonderful and he was much safer than we could keep him at home, he was always trying to get "home" to his parents house. The nursing home he was in had a large fenced in garden for the dementia patients, a beautiful sitting room with a fireplace and piano, and a good security system. He was there for 10 years and I really don't think he would have been alive that long if we didn't have that help.My mother certainly wouldn't have been able to cope with it all even with our help. She never missed a day visiting him except for when she was in the hospital herself.Learning to accept his perceptions of his world and not trying to bring him into the present was hard but it really made life easier on all of us. I never stopped learning from him and I'll never stop missing him until we meet again.
"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"-Dr Seuss

Pain is something to carry, like a radio...You should stand up for your right to feel your pain- Jim Morrison
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Reply #25 posted 08/17/05 11:17pm

Anxiety

CarrieMpls said:

Lizzy7701 said:

clapping @ this thread!!!

I can't understand why people refuse to take care of their parents when that times comes....They were the ones to bring you into this world...


In a way, I hear what you're saying. But keep in mind, each individual's experience is different.


very true. i think it's a matter of conscience, and conscience is a very personal thing.
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Reply #26 posted 08/17/05 11:20pm

wellbeyond

shellyevon said:

Byron said:

I took care of my father for three months, and now my brother and sister and I are attempting to place him somewhere that can provide the care he truly needs for his mental and physical health. We all pool our resources together to make sure both my mom (who has her own place and is still sharp as a tack mentally) and my dad never want for anything...it can be draining, exhausting and even depressing at times. But it can also be hugely rewarding when you allow yourself to realize the realities of it all. There were times when I loved knowing I was truly providing my father a 'safe' place to be, especially with his paranoia issues. There were also times when he was like a small child all over again, and I felt like his parent...pretty profound experiences to say the least.

My father had Alzheimer's , we had to place him in a residence for his physical safety.This was the best thing we could have done for him. The staff were wonderful and he was much safer than we could keep him at home, he was always trying to get "home" to his parents house. The nursing home he was in had a large fenced in garden for the dementia patients, a beautiful sitting room with a fireplace and piano, and a good security system. He was there for 10 years and I really don't think he would have been alive that long if we didn't have that help.My mother certainly wouldn't have been able to cope with it all even with our help. She never missed a day visiting him except for when she was in the hospital herself.Learning to accept his perceptions of his world and not trying to bring him into the present was hard but it really made life easier on all of us. I never stopped learning from him and I'll never stop missing him until we meet again.


sigh...Thank you so much for sharing that... cry It's harder than I sometimes let on. That made me feel a little better... hug
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