I recently went to my primary care dr to get my results from a Iodine test. While I was there he was asking me how I was doing. He is an alternative/conventional doctor that I have been seeing for about 6 months now. I have suffered with depression and anxiety pertty much my entire life now. I explained to him that I was still dealing with my depression and anxiety and trying to keep it under control naturally. I had been on antidepressants and gradually stopped taking them before I started seeing him. Since seeing him, I have tried SAM-e, amino acids, B complex with Folic acid, 5 HTP and a few other natural supplements. He had me perform an Iodine test at home and the results came back that my Iodine levels were low. He told me to stop cutting salt from my diet and start taking an iodine pill. I asked him what I should do about the depression and anxiety and he told me that I needed a life purpose or I would always be depressed. Keep in mind, this man knows nothing about my personal life, we have never discussed it . He told me there was nothing he could do for me. I broke down and cried due to frustration and the feeling of hopelessness that I get whenever I see him. He did nothing when I cried, just sat frozen. Did not ask if I was alright as I was leaving and told me to come back in 6 months.
So, I have waisted 6 months and lots of money and feel like shit! So now I am left pondering my life's purpose...

I had an episode with a doctor lately too.

I hate the fuckers

Honesty I might sound like a freak here but if you feel your life really is lacking purpose, no doctor can help. If you want to find that purpose pray.

If you feel like you do have a purpose find another doctor, quick.

What an ass! This man has no concern for your health and well being. Find a doctor that takes your concerns seriously.

1) Get a new doctor...one that actually cares about your health.

2) Not sure if you are seeing a therapist/Psycologist/psychiatrist. I think you probably did at some point. I think you need to have a good one that is OK with you not being on meds and will work on an alternative strategy

3) Need to find a Life purpose? Bunk. I agree that it helps if you know the direction that you want your life to head but that won't cure you.

4) I do think that having a happy and as healthy lifestyle, environment and friends as you can. I know that you can not have a trouble in the world in terms of financial, or a roof over your head or a good job. But if your home life or social life isn't in the positive and healthy, can can keep you depressed.

My mom was a manic depressive and I whole heartedly believe that her home life contributed to much of her depression.

Much luck to you.

Sweeny79 said:

The life purpose thing is tough. I am married to a great guy, I am close with my mom, my dad and I are alright, I have three dogs that I love like my kids. I have a much better life now then the life I grew up in. With my depression and anxiety though, I have been uable to work full time. I am currently working part time. I am not doing something I love but it's a job. At least I am contributing to our life in some small way. None of that is a life purpose though. I am not sure wheat my life purpose is besides being a good daughter, good wife and a loving mom to my dogs- Wow, I guess that sounds pathetic...

shanti0608 said:

No it doesn't sound pathetic it sounds wonderful, I think it's beautiful to make loving your family and being a good person your goal in life. Work isn't even half of everything. Seems to me you have everything right.


You need another doctor


That guy's a prick.

superspaceboy said:

Yes, I used to see a therapist and I asked my dr about that the other day. He really did not seem like it would help. I have been thinking about checking my insurance and seeing if I can find one in my area.
I do have a good home life now, sometimes my depression and anxiety put strains on my marriage though.
The other bad thing is that I have depression issues on both sides of my family!

Thanks to all of you for your responses- your all great!!!

Sweeny79 said:

Thanks- that is pretty much what my mom and best friend both said about him. They told me that the last time I saw him.
I guess part of my problem is that I look around too much. I see that other ppl have important jobs and fancy degrees and I think I am less of a person because I am not like them.
This depression crap really sucks- I think some of it is due to hormones - damn, being a women sucks sometimes!!

shanti0608 said:

I have a degree,I'm a teacher I think that's a pretty important job, and I still feel like less of a person some days.

Yeah hon it does suck. I'm down too

shanti0608 said:

Sounds like a life purpose to me. That's more that what a lot of people strive to be. In writing these things seem simple, easy to attain and non tangible. But being a good mom, wife and daughter isn't easy. It's much easier to not care and not be those things.

And no being these things is NOT pathetic.

superspaceboy said:

Exactly!

shanti0608 said:

He really did not seem like it (getting a therapist) would help.

Even sane people need therapy! Really that's the worst advise I have ever heard...especially for someone with a history of depression.

I do have a good home life now, sometimes my depression and anxiety put strains on my marriage though.

I'll bet that your spouse has a time with it. But if he is loving and understanding and goes through it with you, that's good. As long as you are willing to help yourself to keep you happy and healthy...half the work is done for him. Hopefully he has resolved to your "good days" and "bad days" and doesn't let this illness get the better of him. He's actually your best defense against this IMO. It's probably very hard for him to see you depressed. But at least he's not blaming you for it or telling you to snap out of it.

The other bad thing is that I have depression issues on both sides of my family!

That explains a lot. It runs in families. Hits women more than men and tends to skip generations...and spread across siblings. One of the worst things is hiding it or not coming to terms with it.

I have also been through a simliar issue. I'll do my best not to bore you with the long novel I type about it. Early on in school I was directed to many school counselors and I acted to be normal and ok for them to just leave me be. Later after school was all over. I went to a family docots and tried to discuss things with her. Before I got many words out she had alreay diagnoses me with mnay things. She had me on prozac....which led to zoloft...and later to a drug that was like lithium and turned me into a sleepless zombie. Reguardless there was an insurance issues my insurance was running out. After I had none... I was told theres not much we can and will do for you because you aren't insured any longer. I'm not proud of this new method... although I don't consider it entirealy new cause in high school i was worse off on it but im still in the scene now. I tend to escape into illegal drugs and heavy drinking. It's the only thing that helps me right now with my suicidal depression,pyscho temper and skiztophernia. Keeps me sane and alive I guess you could say. I don't really have a method and saying this a route you shoudl take. I guess this is just me siging off saying you're nto alone.

This may sound harsh, but welcome to life. I've learned to expect the worse, it helps me get through the day. That and the depressing music, it helps me understand that I'm not the ONLY one out there feeling this way.

Oh, and buy a motorcycle, well, that's what I'm going to do.




spring hill!

superspaceboy said:

I do hide it as much as I can to the ppl on the outside. I work in the medical field and I work with a nurse and I have not discussed this with her. I do not feel comfortable with her knowing this about me. I spoke to my dad today and he is having a rough time with his depression too.
My mom's mother was in mental hospitals most of her adult life with several mental illnesses.

Luckily, as far as my husband goes, he sort of understands it. He suffered with depression when he was a teen. I try to hide it as much as I can because I know it gets old and I do not want to bring him down with me.
Thanks for your help!

jerseykrs said:

Gee Thanks! Really, I already knew that life sucked at an early age- nothing new there.
I do not think buying a motorcycle would help me feel better. I have already learned that material things do not bring happiness. That has to come from within..

Be careful out there riding your motorcycle- Watch out for the old ppl!

Spring Hill!

shanti0608 said:

Sorry to hear that this stupid doctor did nothing to help you. I wouldn't go to him anymore; find someone else! Hope you feel better.

StaticDeth said:

I was given Prozac a long time ago from a dr who only spoke with me about 5 minutes. I did try it out of desperation but it made me kind of angry and a little crazy. I have tried many things since and nothing has really helped. I did try pot a long time ago too but it really did nothing for me. Besides, who needs the munchies??
Sorry to hear that you have turned to drugs and alcohol to survive. I have never had an addiction- I have never found anything that I liked enough to be addicted to. Alcohol is a depressant which I have enough of right now.
i hope you make it through this phase. If you ever need to chat and talk to someone, drop me an org note. I am a great listener. Take Care-

shanti0608 said:

Why don't u try some Taiji -just find a good teacher!It's all about taking control of your life:body,mind and soul.To experience silence is a life changing thing,GOOD LUCK!!

mirri said:

Sounds good- I will look into it, Thanks!

shanti0608 said:

Find yourself another doctor!!!!

If it's any consolation, I'm in the same boat as you in a way. I really have had a great life in spite of a rather difficult childhood. I graduated college, became a teacher, and worked my way through performing in musical theatre, primarily regional and summer stock. I married a really wonderful man.

However a few years ago, I hit some rough patches. After dealing with a chronic injury, I finally retired from performing, then very soon after that realized that I was tired of teaching as well. So I decided to look into other interests... law and business. Then my inlaws became ill, and I became ill as well. Unfortunately my both of my inlaws died, and my health problems made it difficult to conceive children. Then my mother became ill, but she is stable now.

Well, the point is all of crises caused so much stress in my life. Then the thing about NOT being able to have children really has led to a sort of depression. I mean I'm happy to be alive, but then again, I just don't know what to do with myself, ya know??? Right now,I manage a boutique. It's fun, but it's not as challenging as I would like. I took some law classes and did very well, but I'm not sure if I want to go back to school again (I already went to graduate school) to get a law degree. Law isn't my passion, ya know?? The funny thing is that I'm very happy in my marriage and personal life, but like you, I want to have a passion outside of my marriage. I used to have one in performing, but that's over now. And teaching was fun, but I have already done that for a number of years, so now I want to move on.

It gets worse though: I just came back from my annual and now I'm having blood pressure problems. Outside of that brief illness I discussed, I've always been in shape. I work out every day, and watch my diet. I just turned 35,and all of my other lab work is perfect. Well, my doctor put me on medication coz this has been a problem that I kept thinking I could control, but apparently I couldn't do anything about it. I'm really bummed coz I don't want to be on blood pressure meds for the rest of my life. I really think that my blood pressure problems relate to the fact that I've been so stressed-out over these past few years, and also I just don't have a direction in my life anymore.
So in a way, I can understand how emotions can affect your health.

Anyway, I don't really know what the answer is except to hang in there coz things have got to get better. I'm just gonna keep trying... Maybe when I find that next passion, then maybe my health problems will take care of themselves.

I don't know if that helped, but it helped me to tell you. Take care.

I will pray for all of you. I can't really find the words to help right now but u are all in my thoughts.

Danielle.

ok, that pissed me off heres a , that damn doctor is an idiot.

purpleizpassion said:

Thanks!

unlucky7 said:

Yes, he pissed me off too! On more then one occassion- that was my last straw! Thanks!
2 U 2!

Isel said:

Aww, Thanks-

Here's my first thought as I was reading your post- At least you have tried to do different things. You got to perform and enjoyed it, even though it did not last, it was an experience that you can look back on and have happy memories of. You can also know that eventhough you realized that teaching was not your passion that you gave it a try and I am sure you helped some kids along the way. You also went to school for law and that was an experience and I am sure it was a learning one. I am sure while experiencing all of those things, you learned a lot about yourself along the way. I know it is probably frustrating to keep trying to find your passion and not acheiving that goal but at least you have tried. You can mark those things off of your list. You sound like a very smart women with lots of potential! I am sorry to hear about the kid situation. I am sure that adds stress to your life along with the illnesses of others around you. Luckily, some of those things are in the past. I am also sorry to hear about your blood pressure. That may be related to stress and some of it may be a gene thing.
You telling me your story was very helpful but we are not exactly in the same boat. I hope that you never get to the point where I am at. Sounds like you have made better choices along the way. ( I never went to school after I graduated high school- didn't have any talents and I was too afraid of failing.)So, now I am 34 yrs old and I have held meaningless jobs that I have no passion doing. I used to exercise and keep in shape but this depression has drained me of all of my energy. I am also suffereing from severe allergies lately that have made my energy level low also.
I hope that you continue to exercise and take care of yourself. I know that it must be discouraging to think of having to take blood pressure meds the rest of your life but you may find that may not be the case for you. You sound like a fighter and you seem to have a great head on your shoulders- like you told me- Hang in there- It has to get better!

Take Care!

shanti0608 said:

Thank you so much for responding. I really appreciate it. I didn't mean to sound insensitive to your depression. I know that is really something beyond your control that you have to deal with on a day to day basis. I didn't mean at all to minimize your struggle, so I hope it didn't come across that way.

I do want to thank you also for your vote of confidence. I understand your point-of-view, but (I don't know if I can express this very well) it's just that at the end of the day, all of this perceived "success," training, experiences or whatever ya want to call it doesn't mean that coz right now at this very moment I'm kind of clueless, ya know?? I just relate to you coz in spite of our differing circumstances at this moment in time we are in the same place. I just wanted to let you know that I really understand how you feel coz I feel that way. But both of us have our lives, and we might have some health issues...of course yours being the greater of the two... but because we are alive there is always hope. I just wanted to let you know that I really understand...


Sincerely....

Isel said:

No, you did not come across as insensitive at all!
I appreciate you responding to my post and telling me your story. I guess I have always thought that if I had tried cetain things or if I had gone to school that my life would be alright now. I guess I assumed that if I had been as brave as you and pursued my "dreams" a long time ago that I would be happy now. I guess I understand by reading your response that I may just be kidding myself by believing that. It is good for me to realize that I am not alone with this depression issue. I spend so much energy trying to hide it that I am left drained at the end of the day.
Thanks again for telling your story. If you ever need to chat with someone who understands how you feel, please feel free to orgnote me anytime.
Take care of yourself!