...that you:

~ Had a brother or sister out there that you never knew about?

~ Were adopted?


How do you think you'd react?

Would connecting with these blood relatives be important to you? Would you feel betrayed? If you did locate your half-brother/half-sister, do you think you'd feel a family bond even though you've never known them a day of your life? Would you want or need to find your "birth" parents, or do you think you'd be satisfied in just knowing their names and story behind giving you up?

Or, would you be happier if the family you have right now just went away for awhile...lol *smile*


Share if you desire...

I'd hate to think that I was knowingly lied to my entire life. Those closest to us should be the very last to lie to us or shield us from the truth.

I'd be quite upset.

And sure, it'd be interesting to get in contact with those blood relatives, especially biological parents, and see what they were like. At the very least, it could be important to obtain some sort of medical history from them if they'd be willing to turn it over.

Angry

Imago777 said:

Just angry??...Not curious or excited...or in the case of adoption, like "Well, THAT explains a helluva lot!!"...lol

I like to know the whole story before I got upset. Then it would be time for all of my questions to be answered. If I found out something I didn't like then I would be pissed. I went through the half brother thing and although we grew up in different households we are cool. He is my only blood left and he takes so much after my dad it is funny. But if my adopted family showed me nothing but love then I have to give the love right back. I guess it all depends on the family or persons involved. Did that help?

ShySlantedEye1 said:

Definitely...

Byron said:

Dear God I hope we are not related! Please ignore my notes and pics if we are!

ShySlantedEye1 said:

And your notes are fine, and your pics everyone else has seen, too...so your "possible brother" can see 'em as well..

Byron said:

i think i would have an easier time answering for the first scenerio rather than the second.

it would mean that my father had a relationship outside of his marriage. i would be very angry that he betrayed my mother. if i could get passed that anger i guess i would be very curious about the half brother or sister. (especially if it was a brother as i have none) but that would stir up a whole number of other issues. it's an upset of the family dynamic... if you can take that in and process it - i guess you would be well on the way to coping.

i have thought about the adopted scenerio as i have watched other people go through their own adoption stories.

one friend had absolutely no interest in knowing his birth parents - even though he claimed it was out of satisfaction with his life i think there was some deep seated resentment there.

i have heard of other people with less than positive stories of meeting their birth parents. they are only human, flawed people that turn out to be less than your imagination has made them out to be.

and i know of another story that turned out wonderfully... they became one large extended family and the missing pieces of their lives had finally come together.

emm said:

But I didn't mention when your half brother/sister was born...perhaps this was before he met your mother...and I didn't mention that it was your father who had another child with someone...could have been your mother. Just curious if that effects your perceptions...*smile*

Byron said:

i guess those situations would be more shocking because it would shatter the perception i have of my parents relationship.

they were highschool sweethearts who became pregnant young and got married...

for my mother to have had a child younger i would wonder about the internal torture of all those years of secrecy. and who the heck she had been messing around with!!!

for my father to have had a child younger i guess i would prefer that it was something he hadn't kept as a dark little secret. but parents are human too... what seems like a secret that needs to be kept at 18 doesn't seem like a good idea anymore as a mature adult

and yes, i see the double standards involved

emm said:

....Yeah, I saw them, too...

I think I would kinda freak out because that means, as emm mentioned, that my perceptions of my parents' relationship would be shattered! My parents are BIG on planning and family "honor" so a.) having a child outside of the marriage would be scandal enough and b.) not to mention not telling us (their children). But I think it would be kind of fun to have another sibling cause I love my sisters so much and throwing another kid into the mix would be interesting. I would try to pursue a relationship but if they didn't want it or it didn't work out then I would drop it.

I would freak out more if I was adopted because that would mean my parents lied to me my whole life. But my sisters and I look so much alike (my younger sister and I get the "are you guys twins?" question every time we hang out together) that it would mean we were all adopted so at least I would have others to go through it with. I'd seek out my birth parents but if they did not want a relationship then again I would drop it.

It's a tricky one to answer.

My father died many years go and for a number of reasons, I am not in contact with his side of the family and haven't been for years. Most of them live within a 10 minute walk of where I live now, although they don't know this.

No doubt there is a whole load of relatives that I don't know about and occasionally I do think about just dropping in on them, and finding out who's who, and who's new, but in the end I always seem to decide that things are okay the way they are and there's no point dragging up the past.

As for the adoption If I found out that I wasn't my Mother's child, that would really affect me I'm sure.

Byron said:

This happened to my aunt. As soon as she managed to locate her dad she found out that she had brothers in Sweden, the US and I believe the UK. She wasn't too surprised since she knew her father was a musician and also a mean bastard (as we all know, a certain category of women go for that ). She still hasn't been able to meet up with her siblings since she can't afford it, but she says that she wouldn't mind. Who knows what she'll actually feel when she's face to face with them, but at this point she seems to just think it's strange but also nice to know they exist.

Slightly o/t, but oh well...

We don't know very much at all about my paternal grandfather. He was basically only around long enough to get Grannie pregnant, then left town. In fact, it wasn't until after my own father passed away we even knew our grandfather's name. There's a homeless man who lives downtown that I see pretty often, and he's the spitting image of my father, right down to the beard. Sometimes I'm tempted to ask about where he's from, his family, who his father was, that sort of thing -but I ouldn't know how to appraoch him to ask such personal questions. My grandfather may have had other kids, so for all I know this man I see nearly everyday could be my uncle.

I would love it.....More family.....Mine is sooooo small....I used to always say that I wanted like 10 kids so they would all have a big family....and stay big

I think a person would be going through shock and a whole load of feelings trying to let it sink and and deal with it.

Indifferent.

JoeyMFinCoco said:

you would not be!

AndGodCreatedMe said:

Why not? My family is far from perfect and I've heard more "shocking" things in the past. If I have another sibling I'm not really interested in meeting them.

JoeyMFinCoco said:

i hear you, but you would not be indifferent abt it

Byron said:

after the rush of all the normal emotions came and went

i would be interested, perhaps semi excited to learn all about it

it would be important to me yes

i know i would feel a bond ... and yes finding my birth parents would be something i would be interested in

i would NOT be happy if the family i have now ever went away


my friend Shay who i have knows 30+ yrs was just founf by her birth mother and all her new blood family...it's been an incredible event to share with her

just beautiful

Byron said:

I found out last year that I could have had a sibling if mom didn't get an abortion.


oh well. Dad was a fuck back then, so I kind of don't blame her.

personally i dont believe in the word "half or step" if somehow that person has your mother or father's blood flowing through em too? than thats ya blood regardless!.

if i found out i had another sbling? i dont think id be upset personally id embrace it and be cool with it.just to see the differences and similarities we have.

AndGodCreatedMe said:

TheRealFiness said:

There's a huge difference between half and step though.

JoeyMFinCoco said:

i realize that but if a person comes into your family.u treat them like family thats the way i was brought up anyway.

i found out when i was 16 that i had an older sister that i've never met, still haven't met her, don't really care that much.