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PrintableFauxie said: Byron said: At least she didn't spend the inhaler money on more booze. Be thankful. Besides, better late than never, right?? And I think you may have hidden feelings for your mother-in-law. Think about that. Next!! That's not even funny. 
And better late than never doesn't cut it when you're as sick as she is. She's a stroke victim who's currently got a lung infection and terrible asthma. I've already decided I'm going to do away with my wife. I just want your advice on the method. Evenstar's poisining route sounds a decent option. Yes, comments about wives in woodchippers are much better material for comedy. And who said my responses were gonna be funny? I didn't promise humor, bucko, I promised straightforward, no-nonsense advice, and that's what you got. People always expecting more than what they're promised, that's the problem with society today. Think about that. Next!! | |
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abierman said: Byron said: (by the way, you need a bigger beer...  )
like this? There ya go, sport... 
Next!! | |
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Why is true love so hard to find? RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea rush to shore? Don't they know it's the end of the world? 'Cause you don't love me any more Why do the birds go on singing? Why do the stars glow above? Don't they know it's the end of the world? It ended when I lost your love I wake up in the morning and I wonder Why everything's the same as it was I can't understand, no, I can't understand How life goes on the way it does Why does my heart go on beating? Why do these eyes of mine cry? Don't they know it's the end of the world? It ended when you said goodbye | |
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Byron, should I be selfish and FINALLY move the heck out of this taint of a town to pursue some professional/spiritual aspirations, or be selfless by listening to my mother and in-laws, who want me to stick around (and probably ultimately die here)?
I'm sure it's mostly about access to the granddaughter. But can't their *sses hop on a plane?!? [Edited 8/6/05 19:45pm] Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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Why is your "Ask Me" thread so superior to mine?
Mine sucked.  | |
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Lammastide said: Byron, should I be selfish and FINALLY move the heck out of this taint of a town to pursue some professional/spiritual aspirations, or be selfless by listening to my mother and in-laws, who want me to stick around (and probably ultimately die here)?
I'm sure it's mostly about access to the granddaughter. But can't their *sses hop on a plane?!? [Edited 8/6/05 19:45pm] Lammastide, I feel ya, living in the same "taint of a town" that you do. If moving is what you really want to do, go for it! As you said in your post, if your relatives want to see your daughter, they can always take a plane.  RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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psychodelicide said: Why is true love so hard to find?
Issues get in the way. Fears, insecurities, doubts, lonliness...they start making it feel as if it's taking longer to find true love than it really is. As well as, we make decisions in our lives which only end up setting up obstacles once true love does make its way into our hearts. We fear losing once we have it. We doubt it really is as beautiful as we believe it to be. Ultimately we start substituting passion, lust and companionship for true love, and tell ourselves that "true love" doesn't really exist anyway. Even worse, we substitute relationships for love...we start believing that if we can find a relationship which is good enough, then we'll have found true love. Doesn't work that way. We need to concentrate on connection, istead of attraction and chemistry. Attraction is all surface. Connection is much deeper. Attraction pays attention to what is seen and said. Connection pays attention to what is felt and shared. Attraction is exciting. Connection is fulfilling. Attraction knows that something more intense could be just around the corner. Connection knows that this is rare, and won't be experienced again very soon. Love with attraction is fun. Love with connection is amazing. We're shooting for the wrong goals. Next... [Edited 8/7/05 0:20am] | |
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Fauxie said: Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea rush to shore? Don't they know it's the end of the world? 'Cause you don't love me any more Why do the birds go on singing? Why do the stars glow above? Don't they know it's the end of the world? It ended when I lost your love I wake up in the morning and I wonder Why everything's the same as it was I can't understand, no, I can't understand How life goes on the way it does Why does my heart go on beating? Why do these eyes of mine cry? Don't they know it's the end of the world? It ended when you said goodbye Because life goes on...long after the thrill of living is gone. Next... | |
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Lammastide said: Byron, should I be selfish and FINALLY move the heck out of this taint of a town to pursue some professional/spiritual aspirations, or be selfless by listening to my mother and in-laws, who want me to stick around (and probably ultimately die here)?
I'm sure it's mostly about access to the granddaughter. But can't their *sses hop on a plane?!? Why do you think moving is selfish? As for your daughter, any moving decisions should consider you and her mother. Other than that, send the grandparents a link to Expedia.com. Next... | |
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Whom said: Why is your "Ask Me" thread so superior to mine?
Mine sucked. I think you answered your own question there... Next... | |
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Byron said: Alright, two decades of being sought after for advice pretty much makes me a freakin' expert on everything...and I'm known for giving straight answers minus the sugar coating.
So ask away about issues concerning you, and Byron (that's me, for the slower folks) will give you no-nonsense, straightforward advice and answers. I won't sugarcoat shit....(and why does that sound like a breakfast cerial?). First five questions are free. So start askin', I ain't got all day.  Why do u have to swear? This is a family environment.... 
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a friend of mine needs a couple people bumped off. what's the most effect,clean, and discreet way should he go about it?
thanks in advance! 
 [Edited 8/7/05 0:28am] | |
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ReturnOfDOOK said: Byron said: Alright, two decades of being sought after for advice pretty much makes me a freakin' expert on everything...and I'm known for giving straight answers minus the sugar coating.
So ask away about issues concerning you, and Byron (that's me, for the slower folks) will give you no-nonsense, straightforward advice and answers. I won't sugarcoat shit....(and why does that sound like a breakfast cerial?). First five questions are free. So start askin', I ain't got all day. Why do u have to swear? This is a family environment....
(photo removed as to not cause blindness or seizures) I prefer to think of them as "sentence enhancers" that spice up any dialogue. Next... | |
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Chico319 said: a friend of mine needs a couple people bumped off. what's the most effect,clean, and discreet way should he go about it?
thanks in advance!
Your "friend" needs to check into some anger management classes. They're not concentrating on themselves and instead are concentrating on others. Why do you guys do that so much? Next... | |
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Dear Byron,
Will I ever own that house on the hills you can see when you are driving into San Diego...those ones really high up. If so how do you suggest I hustle my ass to get it. Thank you for you time and advice. Sincerely, Hocking my ass to move to California | |
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Mostbeautifulgrlntheworld said: Dear Byron,
Will I ever own that house on the hills you can see when you are driving into San Diego...those ones really high up. If so how do you suggest I hustle my ass to get it. Thank you for you time and advice. Sincerely, Hocking my ass to move to California 1) Marry a millionare 2) Win the lottery If neither of those two work, I hear Chico has a "friend" who needs someone to do some dirty work for them...that might pay well. Float Chico an orgnote. You're welcome. Next... | |
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Chico319 said: a friend of mine needs a couple people bumped off. what's the most effect,clean, and discreet way should he go about it?
thanks in advance!
[Edited 8/7/05 0:28am] IDIOT. I asked you not to say anything to anybody!!  | |
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Nero said: Byron said: Well, then, there ya go...worry 'bout your own damn issues, one of which seems to be hypocrisy. As for jersey...he'll have to ask me about him, not you. As stated in the first post, you're to ask about issues concerning you, not someone else. Maybe the second issue you could work on is reading comprehension, eh? Or on a more serious note, maybe one issue you have is that you tend to focus TOO much on other people, thus deflecting any real introspection. Next!! damn spelling edit... [Edited 8/5/05 22:02pm] Why are you a dick these days? 
I fucking love this thread!
This is the side a Byron I really get a kick out of, even when he turns his laserbeam like honesty on me!  Enough to make ya wanna punch him! But I value it beyond measure!
Go on...tell'm like it is my friend!  In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. |
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Sweeny79 said: Nero said: Why are you a dick these days?
I fucking love this thread!
This is the side a Byron I really get a kick out of, even when he turns his laserbeam like honesty on me! Enough to make ya wanna punch him! But I value it beyond measure!
Go on...tell'm like it is my friend! I don't get a kick out of any side of Byron. However, I'd like to GIVE a kick to his back side. | |
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Why do I like Trolls... 
 I have a firm grip on reality...Maybe just not this reality  |
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Apparently the only thing straight about Byron are his answers.  | |
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ReturnOfDOOK said: Apparently the only thing straight about Byron are his answers.
 | |
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hello Birthday Boy  ... there's a lot I want to change about myself do you think it's truly possible to make lasting change within yourself? | |
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psychodelicide said: Lammastide said: Byron, should I be selfish and FINALLY move the heck out of this taint of a town to pursue some professional/spiritual aspirations, or be selfless by listening to my mother and in-laws, who want me to stick around (and probably ultimately die here)?
I'm sure it's mostly about access to the granddaughter. But can't their *sses hop on a plane?!? [Edited 8/6/05 19:45pm] Lammastide, I feel ya, living in the same "taint of a town" that you do. If moving is what you really want to do, go for it! As you said in your post, if your relatives want to see your daughter, they can always take a plane. Girl, come with me to San Fran!!! We'll be broke as hell for awhile, but we can breakdance for money on the Haight!
Byron said: Why do you think moving is selfish? As for your daughter, any moving decisions should consider you and her mother. Other than that, send the grandparents a link to Expedia.com. Next... Thank you, sir. Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου
μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ πρὸς ὀλίγον ἐστὶ τὸ ζῆν τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ.” | |
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Byron said: I won't sugarcoat
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I'm submitting my PhD on Friday. Should my first drink be a Strawberry Daquiri or a Tequila???? I'll leave graffiti where you've never been kissed | |
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Steadwood said: Why do I like Trolls...
Because they're funny lookin'...same reason you like Althom. Next... | |
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ReturnOfDOOK said: Apparently the only thing straight about Byron are his answers.
You're achin' to send me more orgnotes, ain't ya, thong boy??... Next... | |
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